[eggplantlife]

So down that each time I write, I delete.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by hopeless123

All I want is to have a normal life. Every time I turn around it's something else. I am struggling with the fact that I haven't talked to my parents in quite sometime (approximately 3 months), but it's do to me being fed up and I have walked away, abruptly. My daughter's birthday just past and not a single phone call to wish her a happy birthday, mother's day past and not a single phone call from them to wish me a happy mother's day. My father, growing up, was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and my mother left me when I was 3 years old and I didn't meet my mother until I was 19 when I had a lump in my breast and needed to know if breast cancer ran on my mother's side. My mother is a no it all type of person and doesn't know her place with our relationship because she says things and makes comments as if she was always there. My father is a controlling person and I've always taken care of him, literally. I raised myself and had a very depressing childhood that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I was beaten and taken advantage of my whole life, only to be abandoned by my father too, who dropped me off with my grandparents. I feel like I am this whinning cry baby at times, but why do I have to go through all this heart ache still at the age of 33. I was still taking care of my dad and at his "beckon call". He didn't have any regards to the fact that I am a mother and a wife and if all my time was spent with him he didn't care and it wasn't like he asked nicely. The last straw was him telling my daughter to shut the bleep up, I made a promise to myself and my daughter that she would never feel unwanted or scared of her grandparents like I was of my father and mother, still am because I don't have the guts to stand up to them, so I walked away. What do I do? Do I write them a letter telling them how I feel and what went wrong, or do I even care because I've enjoyed the peacefulness that I've obtained from not being around them. However, why do I feel so alone? I felt alone when I was around them and I feel alone without them. Why can't they just be parents like they are supposed to?! Please help. There are a million other things going on with me right now that make it extremely hard to even get out of bed, but this is the one that's bothering me most right now.

Hugs. I really do understand. Your story is very similar to mine. I can tell you this it will get better. In your position I wouldn't write a letter because that would open up a line of communication that I wouldn't want. I fell for it, but I'm still keeping my distance from my parents. You aren't alone.

Tig

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by hopeless123

All I want is to have a normal life. Every time I turn around it's something else. I am struggling with the fact that I haven't talked to my parents in quite sometime (approximately 3 months), but it's do to me being fed up and I have walked away, abruptly. My daughter's birthday just past and not a single phone call to wish her a happy birthday, mother's day past and not a single phone call from them to wish me a happy mother's day. My father, growing up, was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and my mother left me when I was 3 years old and I didn't meet my mother until I was 19 when I had a lump in my breast and needed to know if breast cancer ran on my mother's side. My mother is a no it all type of person and doesn't know her place with our relationship because she says things and makes comments as if she was always there. My father is a controlling person and I've always taken care of him, literally. I raised myself and had a very depressing childhood that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I was beaten and taken advantage of my whole life, only to be abandoned by my father too, who dropped me off with my grandparents. I feel like I am this whinning cry baby at times, but why do I have to go through all this heart ache still at the age of 33. I was still taking care of my dad and at his "beckon call". He didn't have any regards to the fact that I am a mother and a wife and if all my time was spent with him he didn't care and it wasn't like he asked nicely. The last straw was him telling my daughter to shut the bleep up, I made a promise to myself and my daughter that she would never feel unwanted or scared of her grandparents like I was of my father and mother, still am because I don't have the guts to stand up to them, so I walked away. What do I do? Do I write them a letter telling them how I feel and what went wrong, or do I even care because I've enjoyed the peacefulness that I've obtained from not being around them. However, why do I feel so alone? I felt alone when I was around them and I feel alone without them. Why can't they just be parents like they are supposed to?! Please help. There are a million other things going on with me right now that make it extremely hard to even get out of bed, but this is the one that's bothering me most right now.

They don't deserve such a sweet, thoughtful person as you in their lives. You need to save your energy for your daughter. Feeling alone is horrible but as you've discovered being treated like a doormat isn't the answer to that either.

[TheOriginalMe]

Why am I so unlikeable? I try to be nice to other people, I do my bit, but I'm invisible and unheard. I've tried so hard, what have I done wrong?

[lizzyjb]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Why am I so unlikeable? I try to be nice to other people, I do my bit, but I'm invisible and unheard. I've tried so hard, what have I done wrong?

You haven't done anything wrong. It is only how you feel. Is the ****** depression who talks. I am sure you have to be a great person. Hug.

[regretful]

Still waiting for that day when it starts to turn around for the better, but feeling like I'm stuck in this rut and I keep on sinking deeper and deeper...

[dandylin]

T appt. this morning. I haven't seen her in 2 weeks. so much to tell her. Feeling a bit anxious

[tokiwartooth]

Eh, it's Wednesday, at least it's one more day closer to Friday.

[maddnessreturns]

It's ok today. I want to go outside and take my dog to the park but it has rained everyday.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[birdpumpkin]

Feel sad and lonely. Was very anxious earlier til I had a good cry. My mom's in the hospital. Don't know when she's coming home. Will be a week tomorrow. My dad and sister get to visit everyday. I feel left out and that they'd all be okay without me. Feel everyone would be okay without me actually but maybe my cat. The hospital is an hour away, and I can't get there myself. I only drive locally. They don't ask me to go with them because I have a son in school. So instead I hear nothing at all all day long, wait on a call later... Thought she was coming home yesterday and waited to hear something til I finally called going on 7:00. It's a possibility she may today but have no idea, and yeah, have heard nothing at all. Just feel so tired of life right now. Had a fire in December and lost everything, including my 10 dear cats. Have suffered with anxiety and depression since. Lost our goat of 11 years last week, the day my mom went into surgery and I didn't get to go. Would like something good to happen for once. Would like some good news or something. Would like to smile and feel joy again.

[Jolisse]

Originally Posted by dandylin

T appt. this morning. I haven't seen her in 2 weeks. so much to tell her. Feeling a bit anxious

Same here, I have so much to talk about.

[mulan]

Awfull day. I was about to write on a false facebook profile that I have, that I am the most hatefull person on the face of the earth. I hate myself so much right now.
But I was writing it in a way I was the one who could read it. What the hell? I can say it here, here there will be perhaps someone to read it. And not me just talking to myself.
I feel so much like a failure right now.

[lizzyjb]

Originally Posted by birdpumpkin

Feel sad and lonely. Was very anxious earlier til I had a good cry. My mom's in the hospital. Don't know when she's coming home. Will be a week tomorrow. My dad and sister get to visit everyday. I feel left out and that they'd all be okay without me. Feel everyone would be okay without me actually but maybe my cat. The hospital is an hour away, and I can't get there myself. I only drive locally. They don't ask me to go with them because I have a son in school. So instead I hear nothing at all all day long, wait on a call later... Thought she was coming home yesterday and waited to hear something til I finally called going on 7:00. It's a possibility she may today but have no idea, and yeah, have heard nothing at all. Just feel so tired of life right now. Had a fire in December and lost everything, including my 10 dear cats. Have suffered with anxiety and depression since. Lost our goat of 11 years last week, the day my mom went into surgery and I didn't get to go. Would like something good to happen for once. Would like some good news or something. Would like to smile and feel joy again.

Of course you will.
Lot of hugs.

[lizzyjb]

Originally Posted by mulan

Awfull day. I was about to write on a false facebook profile that I have, that I am the most hatefull person on the face of the earth. I hate myself so much right now.
But I was writing it in a way I was the one who could read it. What the hell? I can say it here, here there will be perhaps someone to read it. And not me just talking to myself.
I feel so much like a failure right now.

I am reading it and I don't agree. I'm sure you can be a wonderful person.

I'm really glad that I got to spend some quality time with my sister-in-law and niece today. We went to a park for a picnic, during which time my sister-in-law and I talked briefly about my depression. She's a very good listener and such a sweet person. I'm lucky to have her in my life. We also ran a few errands, then I came home and did some weeding. All in all, it wasn't too bad of a day. I really wish that I would have more days like today, but I know today was the exception to the rule of the boredom and loneliness my depression has me stuck in most days . . .

[waggiedog]

Hello dear friends. I'm so sorry some of you feel bad, my hand and heart go out to you constantly. Don't push yourselves at the expense of your health, be that physical or mentally. We have to put our own well being at the fore front. I have a listening ear and a broad shoulder. HUGS n HUGS n HUGS 100 times!

[msbunnyryu]

I feel empty. I also feel confused. I don't know why though.

[Bigmike727]

Today could have went better, sometimes it feels like everything I ever work for is all in vain, like nothing ever gets accomplished.

[RunningInTheRain]

Today is crap. I shouldn't be here. I've cried like five times in the last five hours. Even therapy today didn't help.

[Espresso]

Bad day.

[hopeless123]

Originally Posted by Bark

As the last thread reached 100 pages, here's the new one.

How are you feeling today?

I am feeling so overwhelmed. Have family issues, 2 car issues, feeling alone, feeling like I am unwanted in this thing we call life. Why do I feel this way. I am trying to think positive, but every time I turn around there is something els to deal with. I feel so hopeless. All I want to do is feel normal, be happy, feel like I am living life, but that dream is so far away and I don't know how to get there. What to do?

[Avatar10]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

A guy I like just told me that he doesn't like me or see a long term relationship working with me because he doesn't have the patience to deal with my mental problems. I'm sobbing.

Hi nevergoodenough,
I'm so sorry that you had to hear such insensitive words. If a person says something like that, then you're better off without them.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[dandylin]

So freakin' stressed. I need to know if DH is getting a second interview. I am so afraid of getting my hopes up, because I then have to worry about dealing with the fallout when what I want to happen doesn't.

[regretful]

Well it's just another day of misery...no major problems to report, but just depression. It's so maddening to have known what it is like to be "non-depressed" and be unable to grasp that frame of mind again...I'm lost...

[maddnessreturns]

Second interview today. Didn't sleep well last night though again. I just can't stop thinking at night.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk