[dandylin]

Stress, anxiety and fear.

Damn depression persists. Went fishing with my husband today in our boat and got seasick. Then went with him to lunch, on his sales route and out for ice cream. Now it's time to crawl into the sack and "give up" as I like to say, for the day . . .

[TheOriginalMe]

Calmer today. I went out, collected some shopping I'd ordered online. Stayed awake all afternoon and that made me irritable but I wasn't climbing the walls in fear and dread like a few days ago. I hate getting cross for no reason though, it is such a waste of energy. I am making plans for the next couple of weeks, I hope I have the energy to see them through.

[purehoney24]

today-
totally screwed up...=(

[kittyfaye]

Today was a bit better. Played a lot of Skyrim and didn't really worry about anything.

[Hopefullywellsoon1]

If my phychiatrist appointment tomorrow doesn't go to plan then I'm giving up. Not fighting it anymore. These plans in my head might become reality and I'm at peace with that

[birdpumpkin]

Feeling really bad today and in tears. It was 2 years ago today the derecho hit and we were without power for 2 hours into day 10. It was a miserable time, but I would go back to it any day because at least then I had my home and my 10 cats with me and felt happy. Now all that is gone and I'm just miserable all the time. I'm remembering those 10 days today - having a lot of memories. Like I couldn't vacuum because no power, and the fleas were getting out of control. I gave my Tadpole a bath, but the water was cold because no hot water. He hated it and it scared him. He curled up on my lap as he dried. Then I put some Frontline on him. My Tadpole is 1 of my 2 missing after the fire. He'd be 10 years old now. My other 8 perished. I would go through that time in a heartbeat to just have all that back again.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by birdpumpkin

Feeling really bad today and in tears. It was 2 years ago today the derecho hit and we were without power for 2 hours into day 10. It was a miserable time, but I would go back to it any day because at least then I had my home and my 10 cats with me and felt happy. Now all that is gone and I'm just miserable all the time. I'm remembering those 10 days today - having a lot of memories. Like I couldn't vacuum because no power, and the fleas were getting out of control. I gave my Tadpole a bath, but the water was cold because no hot water. He hated it and it scared him. He curled up on my lap as he dried. Then I put some Frontline on him. My Tadpole is 1 of my 2 missing after the fire. He'd be 10 years old now. My other 8 perished. I would go through that time in a heartbeat to just have all that back again.

Hugs. That's so sad.

[glok]

Yes, there are ups and downs.

[Blue_Bird]

so depressed

[Puffyprue]

Feel like all my thorns came to surface again, no one can save me...if they get too close they might get hurts and if they pull my thorns it will hurt me. Why my life is so hard :'(

Fighting this depression today. First off, it was a monumental task just to get out of bed. I have to force myself to do so each morning. It's not like I really want to get up or look forward to the day. So far we've gone out to breakfast, gone grocery shopping and took the dogs for a walk. Now we're going to chill outside and do "core feelings" together (where we go down a list of feelings and identify which we have at the time), then leave for the movie Jersey Boys in about an hour.

I have had a habit for months now of retreating to my bed at 5 p.m. every day. Just because I don't want to participate in life anymore by that time. I vowed before my husband that I will force myself to stay out of bed until 5:15 every day (or at last M-F). Baby steps . . .

[MysteryMade]

I'm good on fighting my mental drawbacks. Which is nice!
But this bronchial cold is kicking my butt. I just want to lay in bed and sleep for the next several weeks.

[mulan]

I almost had forgot what it feels to be mentally exhausted...so, my body doesn't let me forget about it. It can have a good side and a bad side. Since I easily lost the memories of my experiences and I think it happened more when I was more tired, I have a comparing experience to know if I am ok, on the other side, does it means it will never go away?

Summer vacations are almost, almost around the corner, the last milles are the hardest to go through. And I decided to not do an exam by now and finish the evaluations that left in the beggining of september, which means studying during the summer vacations... And why, because I couldn't pass it now? No, just because I want to score an high grade. Why I still have some things to do? Because I want to repeat some exams to get a better grade.
The funniest thing is that grades almost don't matter in what I'm studying.

Sometimes I think I'm being just stupid! But what will I do with my free time during summer? (ironic smile, big inspiration)

[horsecab]

A friend in one of my groups contacted me last week. She is dying...She's only 42 and has a 15 and 13 year old. She has so much to live for, and I have nothing. And I probably never will have anything, I've made the walls too high and thick. Is it wrong for me to wish I could trade my life for hers???

Anther weekend is over. It felt like it was not too good of a weekend. The only nice part of the weekend was Saturday morning I got my car serviced and everything is done. So glad to get that over with. After that, not much.

Looks like I'm about to lose the only friend I have. We had a fall out. I was not crazy about him that much, but I felt like the last straw was broken. It's not easy to make friends at this point of my life.

I went to the pool area tonight and it was pretty crowded. There were hardly anyone that I felt like I had anything in common with. I've been wanting to leave where I live, but I feel like I can't.

Also I got an email from an ex friend that was upsetting. Now I feel lonely and not very well liked. I wish that life can improve. I feel like I want to exit now.

I've been battling a cold that I got a week ago today. MysteryMade mentioned about a bronchial cold. I wonder if that's what I have. I've never heard of it, but perhaps that's what I have. It's been pretty bad.

[TheOriginalMe]

Googled something today, I wanted to know what's possible. Felt reassured by the simplicity of the possibility. I've no plans but I needed to know. I shouldn't be posting this really but who else do I tell there are no resources for someone not quite on the edge.

[regretful]

My mornings are just as bad as my afternoons and my evenings. I wake up each day thinking "I can't believe that this is my life"...depression is terrible...

[Bark]

Well, my phone stopped working and the backup phone was a pain, and I mostly use my phone to access PC. Thankfully, it was completely covered by warranty. Sadly, they could not recover my files. Infuriatingly, stuff I thought had been backed up wasn't. Goodbye months of tracking myself....

I've had some low days and some good days. I'm feeling all right today.

[PianogirlPlays]

Hurting , punishing myself inside because I got hurt.

[RunningInTheRain]

Feeling better today. Definitely better than yesterday.

[maddnessreturns]

Sad. And lonely. I feel like I'm in a fog and can't concentrate.

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[waterknob1234]

Tired of migraine headaches. I feel so tired yet I can't sleep. I'm taking the migraine medicine but it's not working. I'm on so many medications now I am afraid to tweak something without a doctor's advice.

[tired_girl90]

Rough night last night. Couldn't stop crying, actually took some anti anxiety pills to calm down, made me fall asleep but then they were still working in the morning, I had to drive to school, I was very tired. today was a little better but I cried still. I don't know what's going to happen next and I'm scared. Never felt so alone. I hate talking about my problems, it makes me feel selfish, so if anybody ever needs to talk about their problems/struggles/depression/whatever please private message me, day or night, rain or shine, I don't even care where on the planet you are. You are never alone.

On the plus side I did exercise today.

Today seemed like a weird day at work. It has not been a nice few days for me it seemed. I got an email again from an ex friend telling me that I am all wrong on things that I do. Funny thing is that he had written to me after I told him not to write to me again.

I feel like I am not very well liked by people. But I could be wrong. It seems like the ones who have a thing against me seem to want to get in touch with me when I felt like I did a good job of avoiding them. I guess I'm much better than I think!