[breemarie]

I don't know if anyone else is going through this but most of my family and the few friends I had are turning away from me and leaving me to deal with my depression and my life on my own. I guess they figure when I'm better and back to normal they will come around again. I have absolutely no emotional support. When I do express myself to people and try to share what has been going on, they give me lectures and the "get off your butt and get moving" talk. They talk about themselves and others who have had challenges and overcome. I know they mean well but they are not suffering with major depression. I had a complete breakdown and was not functioning. I was ready to end it. My BF wanted to hospitalize me but I refused to go. Two people know this but have still chosen to ignore me. I am beyond hurt. I feel betrayed and unloved. Everyone is going on with their lives enjoying themselves and they are not giving me a second thought. Everyone thinks I am lazy and irresponsible and a bum. I already have zero self esteem and feel like I'm a loser and the way everyone treats me just makes me feel even worse. I am tired of people judging me and criticizing me. They have not walked in my shoes. They don't know what they are talking about. I don't go around telling people what they have done wrong and what they need to do. Why can't people just offer love and compassion and emotional support, what is so hard about that? I am ready to cut everyone out of my life. I feel that they are fairweathered people who only want to be around me when things are going ok. The minute I'm in a hole and am not myself and am struggling, everyone runs away and stays away. Am I wrong to be angry? I am really ready to cut people off. I have nobody but my BF and that will eventually end too. But I am soooo hurt. I don't even want to go on but I won't do that to my BF. But I hate living.

[Christina86]

((((((((((((breemarie))))))))))))))

People don't understand a lot of the time, and them professing sympathy for something that you're experiencing that they are not can just make it worse

It sounds like your boyfriend is trying to help. Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel right now? Even connecting with one person can help.

Take care of yourself.

i'm so sorry......and i understand your feelings. it hurts and it sucks.

it seems that when we have mental health issues, compassion can be a rare commodity for some of our friends/loved ones to show us.

confusion, fear, ignorance? who knows? but it would be nice if someone could step out of their bubble and offer a hand now and again.

we're here for you.........xoxoxo pat

[breemarie]

My BF tries sometimes to be supportive but he gets tired of me too. I am not working and I have alot of fears about working. But I have been looking for something not too stressful that I can do that is not too far from where I live.
I am still trying out the meds and trying to get somewhat stable but nobody really wants to hear that, they don't care. I should be working, paying bills, cleaning my house, etc... I have just stopped functioning and doing anything that needs to be done. I used to be the one that did everything but now I just do nothing. I guess since I go to my appointments and the store every now and then and I email people, everyone thinks I am ok and should be ok to do the things I need to do. They look at me with disgust, everyone. It makes me want to crawl into a hole.

i'm sorry........it's really hard when we're down as far as you are............been there......it hurts a lot.........people here got me through year and a half a ago...keep talking about it and let us help you..........xoxoxo pat

[sunrise]

Hang in there, breemarie (such a pretty s-name). Are you seeing a therapist? I know that helped me a lot when I was in the midst of my lowest moments. It was hard to drag myself to see her, but I did feel I was able to share with her the sort of talk about my troubles that I felt no one in my "real life" wanted to hear. Then there is the possibility to move on to the real people when you get some coping skills in therapy.

Good luck. (((hugs)))

[eternalalien]

Hi breemarie,

Sendin u hugs.

I kno how u feel. It's so difficult ffelin alienated from those around you.

"Laugh & the world laughs with you,
Weep and you weep alone,
For sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of it's own."

I think they don't mean to dismiss your feelings, they probably just dont understand. Not that helps you in your time of need.

Don't cut yourself off from people in your life. they may not be giving you what you need, but I think it may be worse if they're not there at all.

Posting on here isn't the same as talking to friends who understsand, but keep on doin it anyway. I hope it helps.

[breemarie]

Thank you everyone for your support. I am supposed to see a new therapist tomorrow. I am having anxiety about it because I have to take 3 buses to get there and I don't really know where it is. I have a headache and have lost my appetite because I am nervous. But I don't like going to the place where I get my meds. The person they set me up to talk to didn't seem like she knew anything about depression. My last one also. The things that come out of their mouths. My last therapist told me that other people have it worse than me and they don't complain. People just are insensitive. And also when I tell people I have major depression they want to tell me how they have it too and know what I'm going through. If you are still able to get out of bed, go to work and keep a job, conversate and interact with people, and not sit and think of ways to kill yourself, then your depression is not like mine. Depression is different in everyone. I am done trying to communicate with people. I will conversate on these sites and with the therapist if she works out and that is it. Anyway, thanks again for you support. I like that quote "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone". So True!

Bree Marie

i'm sorry............love, pat

Sometimes it is the healthy thing to do.. to leave others behind and go your separate way for a while... and just worry about you and what you want and what you need.

I also go by bus and get quite sick of it. I just want to be able to come and go like the 'normal' person I used to be when I had wheels. Plus I am in a new city so I don't know where anything is. It's hard, but go anyway. Stick with the help that IS there and do the best you can.

It's all we can do.

I hope you feel better soon!

ECHOES

[Boopers]

Oh BreeMarie,

Sweetie, it breaks my heart to read your post. I am so sorry that you have no support system.
I think that our family runs away from us is because they don't know how to help us and instead of just being there and loving us, they run the other way.
You are so right. Depression is different for everyone. I have fought severe depression for many years.
I wish that your family could understand what it is like to want to run and hide from the world. To shut everyone out as you don't want to talk to anyone. It's like falling in this dark hole and you keep going deeper and deeper and there is no bottom.
I do hope that your new T. will help you. Not like your old T. did. I'm also glad to hear that your bf is supporting you. You need all the support you can get. Try and surround yourself with people that are supportive of you.
Even if it's coming on here and talking about it. It really does help, knowing that other people are going through the same thing.
I wish you all the best. Take care and let us know how it goes with your new T.
Hugs,
Boopers.

[sunrise]

Bree Marie, how was your session with the new T? Do you like him/her?</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The person they set me up to talk to didn't seem like she knew anything about depression. My last one also.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Can you play more of a role in choosing your T? Or does your health plan force you to go to whoever they pick? Although I didn't do this myself, I always hear you should interview several therapists before picking the best one for you. I know it's hard to be so proactive when you're depressed. Hope it went well for you with the new T.

sunny

[houdini]

its simple

no one gives a shite if they cant get anything from it, why care what others think i gave up a long long time ago and its the same as being with my family and freinds

[Soidhonia]

Hello it is good to hear from you again I hope things get better for you soon. DBSA and NAMI have support groups inyour area and are a lot of fun as well. There may be other support groups in your area to attend as well as well as church Organizations for your age group(if you attend church). You do not have to be alone with your loneliness there is help and support but you have to be willing to get the help you need. Possibly your therapist can help guide you to things that you can do as well to help keep you busy during the day. Volunteermatch has a lot of volunteer opportunities available for volunteers, that you may be interested in doing. I am going to leave you the hotline number to call in case you need someone to talk to 1-800-273-TALK. There are many forums here that you may be interested in as well where you can make new aquaintences, such as the recipe forum. There is also a chat that usually is on during the week around 1 or 2 Pm where you can make friends or you can chat when someone is in chat at other times. There is a chat today at 2:30 PM and you are MORE than welcome to come and join to meet some of the regular people today. You do not have to feel alone really. I hope you get to come to chat today at 2:30 we really have a nice time. Take care Soidhonia