We hope everyone will read this. (Possible trigger: mentions of SU)

I have to say I agree with whoever said they don't want to live to 70 or 80 feeling like this . Or even 60. Or often, even one more day. The trickster has added to my burden with physical crap that's too scary to even talk about . Wtf

I agree with you - this thread is all about saving people (not intended to trigger anyone)

Hey Fuzzy-

You do know there is a statue of you in Honolulu, right? It's right next to that grass skirt stand downtown.

Thank you Moxie, for sharing your positive opinion. I was under the impression that the warnings everywhere were to keep people who were easily triggered from reading it.

And I agree with you-on a site where so many people do consider suicide as an option, perhaps there should be more information about it. Many people who try, and don't succeed, have strokes, go into coma's and harm their bodies and minds beyond repair. Perhaps having access to that kind of information would cause people to stop and think and perhaps, save a few lives in the meantime.

For example, I had considered using ambien until I read that it causes a horrible and painful death complete with crippling siezures. Who knew?

And that some people who use a gun, actually live. Of course they are horribly mutilated, but they live.

I wear a watch on one wrist and braclets on the other to hide scars and I've wondered a time or two how many other people do that. If I had cut deep enough, and severed nerves, I might not be able to write today and that would really suck.

So, if this thread is removed, it would be quite sad and perhaps trigger some of the people who are taking comfort from it.

I think this is an awesome thread, Thanks! I will pledge to keep that monkey off my back for today and keep those thoughts away!

My pledge to make it through another day dealing with my depression without hurting myself.

Tea, you are so correct about people who live after suicide and are not the same person. My friend is left in a wheel chair in an assisted living complex. She's still just a depressed but more drugged. It's sad to see. It was enough to make me think twice.

Hello, fellow travelers!

Coming to you from Riverworld, high in the Colorado Rockies. It's been so hot here the last few days. Hope there is a peaceful breeze blowing for you tonight, wherever you may be.

I'm a little late because I crashed for eight hours in my big chair tonight. Sometimes that just happens spnotaneously and I love it when it does.

I'm here to take the pledge, of course, but also to add some things that I've found are really helping.

I haven't had a manic or depressive episode or a panic attack in over six weeks now. I seem to have developed some sort of spidey sense that tells me when they are coming. I simply refuse to let them in anymore.
I will have a brief internal discussion, then go back to whatever it was I was doing and it simply pushes them back where they belong-and that's not inside of my head.

I'm also making a couple of physical changes that seem to be helping. I'm not giving advice here-merely relaying what is working for me.

The big one for me is hydration. If you take physch meds, it makes it even worse because they dry your system out like crazy. I drink so much water, juice, milk, iced tea and coffee every day. I alwys keep something to drink next to me and always take a bottle of water with me when I am going out. I drink between 80 to 100 oz's of fluids everyday. It helps tremendously. It helps keep my mind sharp and keep my wits about me.

Another one is kicking sugar. That one is hard for me, but I'm trying. It usually takes me about three weeks to kick it completely. It's the first thing I used to turn too when the depression started to hit. But once it is totally out of your system, it's much easier to do without, and again, it helps with both the mania and depression.

I don't watch the news-ever-or read the newspapers. I have absorbed enough news about the evil man is capable of, and I don't want anymore of it on my radar.

I pledge, to myself and God and my fellow travelers, that I will not allow suicide anywhere near me or my back pocket for the next twentyfour hours.

Love and Peace-Tea

I don't need to sign anything or keep something in my back pocket. Smoke and mirrors.

I'm here this morning to make my pledge, too. It's a beautiful day and I am going to try to concentrate on that. Even though summer has finally hit Texas with temps up in the 90s, so I'll just watch out the window.

TRIGGER. TRIGGER. TRIGGER

Im back and feeling a bit better.

I think this thread is a great idea. Its kind of like not only a commitment to safety but also pointers on what could happen if...

Gayle and others have pointed out how a person could end up if their suicide is not successful. Something that I had not considered. I am blessed to still be here (by the grace of God). I was granted more time after an attempt. I am pretty much ok and thankful I did not succeed. I would like to say more about this, but cannot find the words.

This is a nice thread; letting others know what's going on is often a great first step in diminishing self-destructive thoughts. What keeps me going, every single day, is my wife and son. When I was at my worst, it was the thought of either one of them learning about my demise at my own hands that helped me keep it together. Thankfully, I'm not in that state of mind anymore; rather, I'm simply depressed and looking for a solution to it that lifts the depression so that I can once again enjoy life.

Thanks Sweetie-

You don't have to find anymore words-you were elequent enough that we understood perfectly. I'm so glad you're feeling better and hope you get lots of rest over the holiday. And keep on pledging. If we string 7 pledges together-we already have a week! A week in which we don't allow suicide to clutter up our mind or get back into our hearts.

Congratulations! Good for you! (And be sure and treat yourself.)

Welcome regretful-

You prove that the greatest weapon we have is love. As far as your depression goes, you will find that the more you make the plege, the more your depression will lift. I havev discovered a way to keep depression out of my life and perhaps it is something that will work for you. You showed tremendjous strength in sticking around for your loved ones. Now you can turn that strength of will into something much more positive for yourslef.

Welcome!

BTW-I pm'd Doc John over 24 hours ago and have not heard back from him yet. If he does decide to close our thread, we are simply going to take this somewhere else. Either I or one of our helpers will let everyone know the new address.

I'm not sure if they are going to delete this thread or not, but just in case, I wanted you to know we will continue to fight-and to win!

tough one today...

why do this ...again????

I'd rather be in heaven.

Thanks for the welcome. Love certainly conquers a lot; it has yet to conquer my depression. I'm in a state of disarray, but much better than I was in the past...This has not triggered me one bit; if anything, it offers hope...

Dear JD-

There have been times in my when I have been in constant pain. It is debilitating, especially to the spirit. I am sorry you are having a tough day, but I'm sure God will let you know when it's time to go home.

Meantime, we are here for you, if you feel you can join in or not. Maybe by just hanging out with us a little, we can help take the focus from your pain.

Love from and from Tea and the whole group

I'm so sorry today is being tough on you. I have also had those same thoughts many times, that why I come here for support. Let me know if there is anything I can help with.

I make my pledge for the day, even though, I can already tell it's going to be a hard one. I'm hanging in there!

This holiday week (beginning of Ramadan, Canada Day, US Independence Day, etc.) is a time of high stress for some. I hope all those who may benefit from the positive affirmation advocated in this thread will consider it well, and apply it in whatever way may be best for themselves.

I am taking the pledge again today as I know it will be a rough day all together (fireworks + PTSD need I say more?) and my father is going back into the hospital. So. Stress all around.

The last time I kept the pledge I finally had a day where my brain reached further than me wanting to be self destructive. I was able to get my work done and even enjoy a video game, of which I haven't played in over a year. It was a good day.

I hope today ends well, too.

Good morning from Riverworld!

It's seven in the morning and I have a lot to say today, so forgive me in advance for this long post. Also forgive me for the many spelling mistakes, etc. It seems that some people are allowed to edit their work, while other's do not have that option and that is really starting to annoy me.

It's not important.

JD, I woke up with you on my mind this morning. I am with you in spirit and in prayer. I hope you will have a better day today. Should you ever feel the need to come here and rant, to perhaps lessen your pain and push some of it out on us-please, please feel free to do so.

I think if you will go back to my very first post, I invited everyone to share or rant or tell us whatever you want if it will make you feel better. That's why I keep writing in here-to convey my thoughts to you and shake off whatever is bothering me.

I want to talk about emotion. This comes with a warning. The things that I have done to speed my recovery, may not be the right things for you. If you intend to taper down on your medication, it is something to discuss with your doctor first.

When I began to taper down on my meds, I began to experience what I call 'the clear'. Without that zombie overload of drugs, many things began to become clear for me. I realized I could experience emotions that were not tied to my illness nor my medication. I could be happy, or irritated, or angry, and it was just me. I believe I have reached a 'safe' level with my drugs. As a bipolar with anxiety disorder and PTSD, I will probably always be on medications. Enough to help me calm the rage that seems to be a big part of bi-polar-yet not enough to keep me from my clear. With the PTSD comes terrible nightmares, so I must take medication for that. But I had to find the level of what was enough to quiet the night terrors, yet not enough to supress my imagination and the good dreams that give me inspiration. Every one of my novels, novelettes and short stories have their roots in my dreams.

I always find it annoying that if I should show any human emotion, the first thing someone says is, 'Have you taken your medication?' And they swear they are only asking because they care and because it is for our own good. When in truth, I think it is more about control. They fear us because they do not understand, will never understand, and believe that if we stay heavily medicated, we are no threat. So if I laugh too long and too loud, if I snap at a child or yell at the cat, or experience and express and kind of human emotion, it's because I haven't taken my meds.

My advocates, and I have a few who really are concerned with my well being, have explained that I am too 'threatening' too bright, and still have too much of the street in me. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late forties and I survived with my street smarts. So instead of saying 'How is that any of your f***ing business?', I should say "I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable answering that question. All I want is my medication and my benefits from the VA, so I must play the game. I know you have all experienced this. You are sitting across the desk from someone with a 'degree' and they are talking and when you connect with them, you both know they are not the smartest person in that room. It scares them and it pisses them off. So you have to play dumb.

Most of them believe that you can't gain control over your bipolar, etc. simply with your own mind and the strength of your own will. My time window for heading off the mania and the depressions is becoming smaller, the more time I spend in the clear. It can be done. And I believe that, given your circumstances, it can be done by most people who suffer from the special hell that is mental illness.

One of the great advantages of this is that I've stopped being afraid. I don't fear tomorrow or the horrors that it might bring. I am still hypervigilent (sp?) and probably always will be. I will probably never be able to drive again. I have a serious problem with sensory overload, but perhaps in the future I will be able to control that with my mind as well.

I have talked about becoming dehydrated and about stopping sugar. Those two things will mess with your body chemistry and your mind quicker than anything. Keeping your body hydrated will flush the chemicals (the drugs) from your body faster. Staying off sugar and eating well will allow your body to operate at it's optimum.

Another thing I want to talk about, and you knew this was coming, is exercise. The trick to exercise is not to make it tricky. Find something you can do at home. Don't force yourself to interact with people you may not want to be around. Keep your workout clothes and sneakers in the same place everyday. Once you put them on and have tied your sneakers, you have already made the comittment and you might as well follow through.

And yes, I have made that comittment. I work out five days a week, 30 minutes a day on my total gym. (That I bought on monthly payments!)
Those extra endorphins are like a happy drug all by themselves. So when you get to the end of the day and say 'What have I accomplished today?'
I drank a lot of liquids today and I might have to get up an extra time to use the toilet, but so what? And I watched my sugar. I did have that one piece of pie, but I did good. And I worked out today. Yeah me!

All of these things will help get you closer to the clear. And the closer to the clear you become, the more control you gain. And that, my dear friends, is a beautiful thing.

Many people are making the pledge an important part of their life. Some can't do it everyday, but that's alright! You do what you can and what is best for you. That's all anyone can ask.

Special kudos to gaylegg and Fuzzybear, who are here everyday. And they agree that making the pledge frees their mind up for more important things. I've stopped whining, 'Why me. why me?' as if I had been given a burden most people don't have to carry. We all have burdens. I am 62 and my only regret is that I didn't figure any of this out sooner.

I pledge to keep suicide out of my back pocket for the next 24 hours. I have other things to do today and I'll be too busy to think about it.

So please, if you feel so moved, let us know what's on your mind and how this is working out for you.

Still haven't heard from DocJohn. Perhaps he is unaware of how many people are taking the pledge and the positive effect it is having on their lives. But don't worry. As I said, if we are not welcome here, we will find
another place. Perhaps we will start our own blog! And if you feel moved
to drop him or one of the leaders, a line, and let them know what taking the pledge means to you, that would be awesome. Just in case, I make copies of this thread twice a day, so that no one's words will be lost.

Have a great day. Peace and love, Tea

First of all, I think it's unfair of you to assume that just because a member complains about a thread or a post that it will automatically be taken down. Unfortunately, members get triggered all the time here. We do what we can to help warn members of possibly triggering posts, but at the same time, each member has to take some responsibility for dealing with their trigger. Reporting such a possible issue is one way of helping the community and themselves.

Secondly, we've had a number of members in the past who have wanted to discuss their active suicidal thoughts, plans and/or ways of accomplishing such. These are times when members are in crisis and need to look for support IRL. We are not trained to be, nor is Psych Central set up to be a crisis intervention site. Discussion of suicidal ideation has always been allowed when in the Depression Forum.

It takes DocJohn awhile to respond to member pm's. He has a lot on his plate, and he never wants to answer someone with thoughts off the top of his head. He will always do some research before answering questions of this type. Please be patient and if you have waited a couple of days, then by all means, shoot him another pm as a friendly reminder.

At this time, we will be moving this thread to the Depression Forum with a 10 day redirect. We normally only do a 5 day redirect, but feel this thread warrants an extra 5 days.

Thank you all for participating in this wonderful idea of taking a pledge to keep yourself safe. You are all important, every single one of you. You are all a part of this wonderful community and we hope you all stick around for a very long time.

to all members!