When will the pain end?

Me and my ex broke up last year. I'm still not over her. Not by a long shot. She was pretty cruel to me, but I still love her very much. I can't stop thinking about her. I just can't understand how she can move on so quickly and I'm standing here in the dust...grieving over her. I always want to cut when I think of her. Why can't I just stop thinking of her? It doesn't matter to me how bad she hurt me. Part of me wants her back, but the wiser part of me knows it would be bad if we ever got together again.

I just want to stop hurting again...and want to move on. I don't know why I'm so stuck on her. My heart aches for what we had...in the beginning. Sometimes I think I'll always hurt this bad, and boy is it bad, but somewhere I know it won't last forever. I just wish that time would hurry up and get here...fast!

There are so many songs that remind me of her. I can't listen to anything on the radio or in my own collection of music...it seems like they're all about her. I look at my stuff, and there's a memory of her when I look at these things. I just can't handle it!

Ok, I'm done venting...

Wow. We Lexicon I know this may sound generic because most people that respond to stuff have a connection with what the person is talking about but, I know what you mean I have been there.

My first suggestion to you is to throw out any pictures of her or anything like that. I don't suggest that you throw out CD's and stuff because they are quite expensive, but the ones that remind you most of her take and put them in a box and give them to a friend who you can trust to keep them away from you no matter what you say or do. I did this, I gave my Counting Crows CD away to my cousin and no matter how much I told her I wanted it back she didn't let me have it. It's a good method I encourage you to try it. As for radio, why are you listening to it? It all sounds (as my friends and I called it) System of a NickelCreed type music, it sucks, just turn it off.

I had the same situation with a girl (Although she didn't treat me badly) who had the ability to just move on forget. I think it is a skill that we are not able to learn unfortunately. I know that it sucks a lot and you wish and think to yourself about how you hope that they are thinking about you, but they are not, and it's the harsh reality. My question to you is do you have a lot of free time? The more time we give ourselves to think that worse it is (Or at least from my experiences). So try to hang out with friends or distract yourself with a hobbie that makes you think or be distracted. Although if you can figure out a way to confront your feelings and solve them, that would be faster for sure but I have no idea how you would go about doing that because I am still hung up on this girl as well. If you figure it out let me know.

I hope this helps and know that I am feeling the pain the same as you and thinking about you. No BS here just full honesty.

Hi Lexicon and welcome to the forums! It sounds like you just want to be loved, which we all do. Hopefully you'll find someone else soon and you can make new memories. If not, try getting involved in activities that might help.

To Lexicon78
It's difficult when you love someone and the love turns out to be one-sided. Lexicon, time heals the pain. yes, I know it feels awful right now. it happened to me a few years ago. I basically went through the greiving process {which is normal} and, with some counseling, was able to learn to accept it. if you feel really depressed, dont hesitate to seek help. life is worth living even though it has it's pitfalls sometimes. JOHN

Thanks. I just want to that everyone for their replies. It really helps when I'm feeling all alone and like the pain will never end for me. This is one of the worst relationships I've had, so I guess that's why it's so hard.

Hey Lexicon, i understand the hurt you're going through. I had a friend like that, we were best friends since we were 7, all through primary and secondary school whatever happened we stuck by each other. I loved her so it didn't matter to me that she made me feel like i wasn't worth anything, that she didn't value my opinion, that she made fun of me because she could be generous and funny and loving at times too. Then a few months ago after leaving school she stopped phoning me, stopped wanting to meet up etc. I knew we had grown apart slightly but i wasn't expecting a complete blank from her. I still don't understand what happened, what i did, why she felt i couldn't be her friend anymore. She hurt me so much because i loved her despite everything. I still wonder how she could just walk away from all the years we were friends without even a goodbye. And the stupid thing is that even with all that has happened between us i still love her, i still want her to succeed, i still want to be there for her. So it hurts when she doesn't want me.
I think if i understand why she treated me so bad i will be able to walk away myself but until then there are too many questions unanswered. Maybe there are questions you need to have answered too?
Abby