[dandylin]

On the Stress-O-Meter I have blown the needle off the machine

[regretful]

Tired...depression seems to rule my life...anxiety about how poorly I have planned for the future...still unemployed and getting no responses from the places I have sent my resume. It's very discouraging...every waking moment is a chore. I feel like I'm such a disappointment to everyone, especially my wife and my son. Self-deprecation comes too easily on days like this...

I need something good to happen. Soon.

Originally Posted by triggers

Have never been on here before. I am struggling with depression and now panic. I am afraid of the super moon and what it could do to us. I need comfort!!

It's over now
We have several or at least one per year. It isn't a big deal... been happening forever. Try not to worry about that.

[tigerlily84]

Not sure I can handle much more. And the day has barely started.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm still here ..

[Pikku Myy]

Flipping panic attack at the UPS store not sure where that came from... ghrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I am spending more and more time in bed. My depression is beyond severe. The only thing I'm not is suicidal, but my functioning is absolutely horrible. Not sure how this will turn out. Just hope it doesn't get much worse and that I at least get out every day and not go in bed in the afternoons until my usual time of 5 p.m.

[hope156]

Blue, but trying to stay positive. Took my 91 yo father-in-law for bloodwork. He has dementia. I get such conflicting emotions with him. Every time I see him I am so reminded of my late husband, and reminded how FIlaw and M-in-Law drank themselves silly when my husband was going through very many serious surgeries. This was over many years. I was alone and they called me drunk in the middle of the night and asking for food. Their friends were sneaking them booze. This continued to their late 80's until my mother in law drank herself to death. Took a few day for Finlaw to even realize what had happened. Their house was a disaster, as they lay passed out, banged up from their falling, all the while thier son my husband, lay in ICU dying. My FIlaw does not drink anymore...well, sorry, rambling. So I fight with feelings of love for him, but also unresolved anger, even though alcoholism is a disease. He is in assisted living, and all he has left in the world is me. Trying to stay positive. Thanks for reading this.

[Bark]

Started the day off not so well. Pretty darn irritable. Saw my therapist... thinking back, I can't believe the way I acted. Pretty sure I was right when I told her I might be having a mixed episode. I was laughing and being sarcastic while feeling worthless and better off dead. The way I spoke was... I don't know. I told her I reminded myself of The Joker (from what little I've seen; mostly trailers and snippets). And I know that I'm most dangerous to myself when I feel mixed. We actually went a bit over time. And she... treated me like she always does. The sarcasm didn't bother her. How I acted didn't bother her. I'm lucky to have her.

Afterwards I was walking with music on repeat, not feeling too well, wondering what I would do. I kept walking around and for some reason decided to taste tree sap (which took several hours to come off my fingers). And... I started feeling better. I don't know why. I don't get it. All I know is that this morning I was depressed and now I'm not. I'm thankful.

[TheOriginalMe]

So, so irritable and clumsy. I'm OK if I'm quiet, I can function but not with enthusiasm. Could be better, could be worse.

[RunningInTheRain]

Feeling guilty that I exist.

Thanks for all the hugs and good vibes. It worked!

[SadPam]

Bad day, bad mood, very depressed...again. At least I didn't ball my head off until I was home; work is just such a cold place for a sensitive, emotional soul like me. Many sad memories hit today, often quick like bolts of lightening and that also leave a burn mark. Some days I just want it to end. Like today.

[Grey Matter]

I watched a movie with a friend and that was very much an up.

The down is that tomorrow I have to say goodbye to a family member I haven't seen in over a year because they are flying back way out of state.

down down down from there I already feel it right at the edge of my brain.

[birdpumpkin]

"There's a certain slant of light..." Fall is coming. Lots of memories cropping up for me today about my cats I lost in the fire. Cried several times today. First therapy session tomorrow. Not really nervous. I think it'll be a relief. It's something I've been wanting for several months. I'll no doubt end up crying talking about the fire, though. That will be uncomfortable crying in front of a stranger. But mostly just scared to drive there myself. I don't drive much or so far away often. I think I know how to get there, though. Still - will be a relief to have it over with, too, and be on the way back home...

[regretful]

Well, I've had better days...waking up every day with this depression is getting very tiresome. I'm trapped in a business that I cannot get out of...just miserable thinking that only a year ago I had a job that I enjoyed. Now each day I get up is a chore. When is it going to be enough? I can't believe that this is my life. I'm so lost...

[tigerlily84]

I took my car to get serviced yesterday due to a recall on it, so now I'm driving a rental car at the dealer's expense. I've been meaning to do that for months, so I feel a lot better today. Hopefully I'll have a good day at work today too.

[dandylin]

I have been sitting on my couch for 3 days now. I need to pack for my move and I can't...I just can't

[herethennow]

i feel i'm in denial about what i am feeling. i act as if i am okay, i tell that to T and pdoc. i don't know.

i don't want to feel anymore.

[Pikku Myy]

Could be better, could be worse. Another day

[Hellion]

Legitimately can't help feeling life can only go downhill from here...so I wonder why try? All I am doing is prolonging the inevitable just so I don't hurt friends/family with offing myself or somehow ruining my life more than it already is...I mean this is seriously what I have to look forward to? a 700$ disability check a month 300 of which automatically goes to rent, living at my moms house, still be scraping by financially, looked down upon by society and just making due with what I have while trying to budget money so I can take care of basic needs/bills and then hope to have some left for a couple things I might enjoy(meaningful/enjoyable activities) according to therapists I go to is technically a need since it reduces feeling stagnated)....they make it so you gotta pay to do damn near anything.

uhh just whining I suppose.

[glok]

Ups and downs are to be expected. My goal is to maintain a more manageable balance.

[Nammu]

I had a very bad weekend but I'm afraid to share it at PHP . Now I feel like an imposter at groups because I'm holding back.

[RunningInTheRain]

Not really doing well. Not not nottt