[dandylin]

ok day. No major ideation or stress. .

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by nirpoxi

It's 3:25am. I start back to college this morning. I'm so nervous I can't sleep!

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Good luck!

[tigerlily84]

I just made a phone call that I've been putting off for a week. Why is talking to family so difficult? But I was glad that I did. Now I just have to make it through a dinner planned next Sunday. Ha I think I might need xanax just to survive it.

[breakmystride]

Being around other people with depression makes me feel worse, because it makes me realize what a horrible person I am. I always am so busy feeling bad for myself that I just can't get up the energy to care about other people, and that's really awful because I'm not really that bad off. Most of the time, the other person needs my support more than I need theirs.

[Jolisse]

No depression today, but having terrible anxiety.

[Jolisse]

Originally Posted by breakmystride

Being around other people with depression makes me feel worse, because it makes me realize what a horrible person I am. I always am so busy feeling bad for myself that I just can't get up the energy to care about other people, and that's really awful because I'm not really that bad off. Most of the time, the other person needs my support more than I need theirs.

You're not a horrible person.

[dandylin]

Thinking about all those things on my list that I won't get done today.

[regretful]

Woke up with my stomach churning, again, with this horrible depression that does not seem to want to end. I have an MD appointment tomorrow; reluctantly, I'm going to pursue medication again...

[aprillynn197]

Nightmares again

thought this morning that my sui thoughts were just a weekend thing. I was wrong. Still feeling like I don't want to live. Know I won't act on it though. I'm just stick in this awful feeling of hating life and myself.

[Rubybaby]

So far, so good. Got up early and motivated myself to do some household stuff. I didn't go back to bed after taking daughter to school!

[Nammu]

It was a bad night, waking up a lot and half remembered terrifying dreams. I'm not in a bad place just out of sorts. Kind of like the real world is a few seconds ahead of me. I'm out of step.

Ups, I'm still in a much better place than I have been. Taking more interest in whats going on and staring to feel like there's a future. It's like I'm waking up from a long dream, nightmare.

Downs, physically I hurt more, I'm moving more so that might be why. I have nerve loss in both arms & hands, and one leg it usually doesn't bother me but my hands have been getting worse.

[mulan]

So the saga is about to begin...see you in the next chapter.

[TheOriginalMe]

My op went well, I've got some hardcore painkillers that I'm afraid to take but the pain isn't too bad anyhow. There was a guy in handcuffs with two prison guards in the pre-op lounge, he was good fun, the guards were miserable though. Eventually the nurses took him to a side room. I must be getting soft and liberal in my old age as it seemed pretty excessive to keep the guy in cuffs, he was enjoying his audience far too much to want to escape and anyway the local prison is for pre-release, low risk prisoners. It is an open prison, so he could walk out from there more or less unchallenged anytime. Still rules are rules

[Jolisse]

Terrible anxiety today, took a 5 hr. nap.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

My op went well, I've got some hardcore painkillers that I'm afraid to take but the pain isn't too bad anyhow. There was a guy in handcuffs with two prison guards in the pre-op lounge, he was good fun, the guards were miserable though. Eventually the nurses took him to a side room. I must be getting soft and liberal in my old age as it seemed pretty excessive to keep the guy in cuffs, he was enjoying his audience far too much to want to escape and anyway the local prison is for pre-release, low risk prisoners. It is an open prison, so he could walk out from there more or less unchallenged anytime. Still rules are rules

I'm glad to hear everything went well!
Take care of your self and take the pain meds if you have to.

Much better day than yesterday. The wife and I had a big misunderstanding that resulted in her lashing out at me for my past. We have been working on our marriage and I worked on my temprement...and she layed me out with a very harsh cold comment....and I couldn't recover from it. It wasn't like being depressed again...i just felt worthless and unloved. I really didn't get over it till I woke up this morning.

[regretful]

Not much different than yesterday - the misery continues, and I feel as if I have ruined the lives of my wife and my son. It's horrible to wake up every day with these massive regrets. I'm trapped in depression...will there ever be any relief from this?

[aprillynn197]

I know the feeling of ruining your family members lives. Its awful to deal with.

[tokiwartooth]

Okay so Ed's last day was this Sunday, the 7th. I hated to say goodbye to him, and to make it worse, due to restrictions from the presbytery, he's not allowed back at the church for 2 years. I did, however, write him a letter telling him I loved him and everything I felt, and I did receive a really nice reply from him. At least we're still friends and could do things as such, away from the church.

[TheLastChapter]

I am not doing too well. It is getting harder and harder each day to do anything. I know that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, but it is a long journey to get to the light. But I know that if I keep busy, I hopefully will not break down today. I am determined. Even though I really want to call in to my classes and say that I am sick. Or another excuse to not go. Who know that attempting to be better would be so much work?

[Vossie42]

I'm doing okay. Okay is good. It's not bad!

[dandylin]

Useless waste of space

I've lost touch with reality.

[herethennow]

frustrated. giving up. tired of battling. just want to cry.

can't so si-ing and this sucks.