[lilypup]

Anxious today...took a Klonopin and got on here. Make do a blog entry of depression and loneliness.

[tigerlily84]

I've had trouble sleeping lately so I took some trazodone last night. I still feel tired but I'm feeling okay I guess. I'm not sure what I will do today but I think I might clean up a bit.

[TheOriginalMe]

How much longer? I am so tired of fighting this. I am almost ready to give in, roll over, capitulate. I have a fantasy that if I hold on for long enough someone will come along and save me, that's why I never, ever ask for help. Stupid or what?

[~EnlightenMe~]

I've had it, done with being depressed. I give up. I'm so sick and tired of all of this, I hate it. I want to sleep until spring.

Deep, horrible depression. I deserve to feel happy/content like the majority of the population. This has gone on far too long. I haven't washed my hair since Tuesday and my sheets desperately need to be washed. Should have done both of those today but gave up. I'm scared thinking about how much more I could decompensate.

[hope2010]

I am so tired, physical and mentally exhasted, with my partner in the hospital, very sick from pneumonia, I have to be here for him, am glad I can do it, but I am not resting well, I am anxoius all the time, so so tired. Greatful though because he is getting better, because he doesn't have cancer, and because I know that I just can not give up. I am also thankful to be here, help me a lot ...

[Jom Tones]

To find a way to a positive day is the reason I pray.

[Clara22]

Fever again, cannot go to my niece wedding. I will go to the emergency room on Monday as tomorrow it would be a waste of time. I am fighting not to feel low because of my health problems

[tigerlily84]

Clara, I hope you get well soon. I understand, it's harder to fight depression when you're sick. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Hellion]

FML! don't even know what else to think...if stuff keeps happening to stress me out more and more I don't know what the f*** I am going to do.

[Bark]

Sleep... no, better get up. Have lots to do. But sleep.... 12 hours isn't enough.

[Melodic]

This is stupid. I keep getting hurt again and again and again. I need to just let go once and for all. It will never work because we are so wrong for each other. We don't get each other at all. I need to find someone else who's much better for me. How the **** do I do that when I'm in this stupid situation? It's like, I won't let go because there's nothing wrong he's technically doing, but because of inherent problems he will inevitably use his power to hurt and walk all over my heart. He doesn't give a **** about me anymore. The cycle must be broken. Once and for all. Can someone just knock some common sense into me or at least kill me so this torture can be over?

[Can't Stop Crying]

roller coaster....exhausted from trying, but not sure I am ready to give up...

Today is a really bad day. My depression is just so bad. How much longer can I endure this? Each day is so painful. Tonight will be another night of pre-ECT no sleep. It will suck a lot. I just hate life. Hate it immensely.

[Hellion]

Oh f***, another day....

[Bark]

I can barely last a day depressed, it seems. Trying to shut out the thoughts with music. Have to submit an assignment. I don't want to go back to the ER; I'd probably be admitted. Just want to take my night med and sleep and hopefully feel better tomorrow. I'd sleep early if I could.

I feel ugly. Don't wanna leave my room.
I have a *****ing headache and am so insecure today I can't believe it. I am fat, ugly, stupid, boring, single, and no one will ever ever love me. Might as well just stay celibate and forever alone and not even try because clearly there is no one out there for me. I try to explain it to people, but they say I'm young and have my whole life to find someone. That is the biggest ******** I've ever heard. Some things you just know in your heart to be true, and I know I will never find love. There's no one out there with standards low enough to settle for something like me.
I wanna die...there's no point in living if I have to miss out on one of life's biggest joys.

[SeekerOfLife]

Feeling very down. Trying to get a few chores done. Then off to bed. Tomorrow is another dreaded day.

Not much of a day. Went to church this morning and my friend was not there. He's still away and will be until Tuesday night. Went on a two hour bike ride today and that was it. It's the longest bike ride that I had been on in a while.

Much to my surprise, I went on another discussion board that I had quit about a few years ago. I can look at it but cannot participate when I yanked myself off of it. I had quit it because there was so much meanness on there. What surprised me was that one of my posts that I did four years ago appeared. Someone had recently replied to a post that I did way back then. I wonder if anyone will ask where have I been?

I will be off from work this week. I do not have any real plans, except for some little things. I didn't go anywhere.

[regretful]

Settled so far into this depression that it hurts. I cannot believe that this is my life that went from going so well to being so terrible in such a short amount of time.

not doing so well.

mood was a bit better during downton abby, but soon went back down again after

[TheLastChapter]

Found out last night that my father has quit his job. I am fine with it until it effects my treatment for depression. My current counselor is around $200 a session and our co-pay is $20. Without the insurance of my father I have no way to pay for my treatments or my medications. This is a major stressor to me and have been on the verge of a panic attack all day. I have to look into a state funded insurance for the time being because I cannot go without. Very stressed. I almost didnt go to class today. It just sucks.

[Bark]

Exhausted. Tempted to do something but I won't. I'm going to try sleeping the pain and stress away. It hurts. Depression hurts.

[Maskon]

Numb. All I want to do is sleep, and when I can't I sit on the couch like a lump on a log. Let the guilt set in, and self loathing wash over me. I just wait for the night so I can sleep again. How is this my life.

[Hellion]

FML....now lets get today started