Does Anyone Else Have This?

Along with my depression comes a "can't-do" attitude (as opposed to a can do one). This illness robs me of my self confidence, alone with self esteem. I seem to lack confidence that I can do the simplest of things - - like do a load of laundry or go to the grocery store. I'm not sure what I think is going to happen when I try these things, but it is just horrible to doubt your ability to accomplish even small things all day long.

Does anyone else with depression experience these feelings and, if so, what do you do to combat them?

I absolutely have this problem! The apartment is a mess, but it's so overwhelming to me. My negative self talk tells me that even if I started to clean, I'd screw it up. It's sooooo frustrating, because logically I know that's not true, and any cleaning would be good.

The only way I've been able to tackle jobs is to just tell myself I'll do a tiny thing that's really simple. Like put a couple glasses in the dishwasher. If I do that, I usually end up loading the whole dishwasher.

My self-esteem is at an all time low, too. My T tells me to use positive self talk, but it's really hard. She says the best way to get used to it is to do it on a good day. Can you try that?

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In terms of positive self talk, I try to tell myself that I'm experiencing a severe depression and any activity I do at all, in fact just being out of bed period, is an accomplishment. Compared to how high functioning and productive I used to be, it really pales though. But I really do try to tell myself I'm doing my best because, for the most part, I am.

Yesterday was a relatively good day for me and I'm not sure why. (If I knew, today would be a good day too!) It was so much easier for me to do positive self talk. I just have to take the good days/moments when they come I guess.

I know how you feel. I look around me and see what needs to be done and I just get that " But I don't want to ! " feeling. The same goes for just getting myself moving I know I NEED to but I just lack the oomph.

Hi newgal2,

I have a very powerful way to help this which I think is getting at the whole root process of depression. It's easy to try and I think it's likely to work for you.

"SNAP CLUB"

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

Thanks vital, I will check out your link.

I could earn money as a de-motivational speaker. Each night I go to bed and say "Well, there goes another pointless, wasted day." My motto is "Just Give Up". I need it on a T-shirt.
To get myself to do a job I'll tell myself that I don't actually have to do the task but I do have to put on my work gloves and shoes and go over and stand in front of it. Then, because I'm ready to do it, I tend to continue and next thing you know my recycling is all sorted or my wood is stacked. Usually I get quite a bit done with that technique. If I just commit to the first step and give myself permission to give up I usually complete the job.

I 100% know what you mean - I have a complete lack of ability to function properly when I'm particularly bad, then I get anxiety and panic attacks because I'm so overwhelmed by how much that needs doing but I just "can't" do! Everything that I can't not do will be done in slow motion without my full concentration. Being at work is even harder - sitting at my desk staring at nothing in particular on my screen...

Vital,

t do the same ****. I calll it cronic fati2gue . I cann say THAT with 100% CERTAJNLY

I always feel worse, it's when the clocks go back and night arrives earlier and when you wake in the morning it's dark. And it gets colder.

Absolutely!
The smallest task - I get myself worked up, thinking the worst outcome of everything!
I have low self esteem. Have a very low opinion of myself .

I've been having a very bad time for almost two years now (while withdrawing/living without Klonopin) and I definitely relate to this thread. And I get terrible anxiety when I do nothing and then I'm afraid to get off my bed. But lately I've begun to feel like soon I can do more, because it will make me feel better if I just do some small step. But yes, it's awfully hard and I'm down in the dumps.

Yes. It is partially why I haven't been able to get into shape again after gaining a bit of weight from my depression last year. I have no motivation to do it when it comes down to it even though I really want to do it

Most days I don't move from my duvet, I feel so exhausted and low. Even changing the channel on my TV remote control. Depression weighs me down and I find it hard trying to get back up again.

Yes. I'm not very good at combat but I'm open to suggestions.

Self confidence is the first thing depression robs me of. A minute ago I had all the self confidence and self esteem in the world and felt like I could take on the world......and then bam depression hits. All that confidence just went out the window. And then comes anxiety because I am not confident I will be able to do what needs to be done and that I had planned before the depression came along. How can it change so drastically all of a sudden? I really don't think it is my decision making process at the core because a minute ago I was making decisions based on a belly full of confidence.

Yesterday I saw a job advertised, I know I can do it and it would be interesting. I know I have done more responsible jobs in the past and I have much more experience than they are asking for. I need to start applying for jobs so I should at least fill in the application and see where it gets me. I started the form last night, but this morning I was thinking, I'm not good enough, I'll just get rejected. So now I'm still trying to fill in the application but I've stopped believing in myself, it is almost like I want to fail. I've no idea how to overcome this feeling, just keep plodding on I guess.

Yes indeed, that terrible, disabling, disarming and overwhelming sense of uselessness at everything you do.

Many hugs

That's a really cool creative idea zippo! - vital

Notice that when you are depressed, you don't say to yourself:

"I am depressed. I am not going to do the laundry or go to the grocery store or get dressed or take a shower. Instead, I am going to curl up in my bed all day."

That's not what happens. You don't decide to do these things. You don't decide NOT to do these things. You are stuck in the middle. Helpless. These things cycle through your mind all day while you're, say, curled up in a bed or go though your day in an unconscious habitual manner.

If this is describing you, it may be an important clue. You may be unconsciously avoiding that inner part of yourself that DECIDES what you do, think and feel. I think that many depressives get pushed into this mode under stress without realizing it. If you think this may be true for you, I really think it's worth trying SNAP CLUB. This is meant to use tiny decisions to train yourself into staying in touch with your inner decider. If I am correct about this in your case, it will have a big positive effect on you fairly quickly.

- vital

I'm not trying to be offensive but this snap club thing seems absurd.

What if it is the opposite. Your going along good, making good decisions, have self awareness, practicing mindfulness, doing healthy daily activities, in tune with your inner thoughts feelings and decisions, and then bam, depression hits. The depression itself saps your energy, motivation, and desire to do anything. Your brain is all of a sudden firing on one cylinder instead of eight. You do think about getting out of bed and taking a shower but the energy and motivation required is too overwhelming so you decide F it. You realize the consequences but every fiber of your being says sleep. That is what it is like for many of us. If it was as easy as getting my inner decider to decide to get up and function normally I wouldn't have this problem.

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I was like that for close to a year. And it still comes and goes. Remember that "this too shall pass".

zinco,

newgal2 is asking about a "can't do attitude" and a lack of motivation. I don't see how you can reasonably object to my suggestion. I don't think you have actually tried snap club, but if you did, and it didn't work, I would just suggest trying something else.

- vital