[tigerlily84]

Doesn't feel like Christmas. I have to start wrapping presents, but I have no time.

I actually feel pretty good this morning for once. It's probably because it's Christmas Eve day and we're going to a family gathering at around 1 p.m., so a change from the boring routine.

I am going to go jog/walking with my dog this morning even though it's raining slightly. Will probably read and watch t.v. until we leave for the party. Trying not to feel too crappy about that fact that I will probably have to leave the party before it's really over because I'm so tired. No one's really gonna give a crap.

not really sure how i'm doing today.

deffenetely not happy and excited, but not really depressed either

[Angelique67]

Weirdly I miss my mother. I'll call either today or tomorrow. She always has so many social engagements I can't really keep track of them. No doubt she has parties to go to today or/and tomorrow.

[regretful]

Stuck in the office...reading about how other people are enjoying Christmas. I should be grateful, but I'm so stuck in this selfish illness of depression.

[Turtlesoup]

It was sunny here yesterday-wow I have missed that. We went for a hike yesterday (1st in seems like forever due to this rain) & it was so nice. Felt so good to be outside-did wonders for my mood. Hope we can get out later today as well-holidays can be so difficult, hugs to all here & remember you are not alone

[kultking]

Originally Posted by regretful

Stuck in the office...reading about how other people are enjoying Christmas. I should be grateful, but I'm so stuck in this selfish illness of depression.

I hear ya...I'm stuck at work today too

I just want to go home, lie in bed, and cry.

[TheOriginalMe]

Cold, windy and sunny, so we managed our full quota of 7 hours of daylight today. I went for a walk in the woods, it was very muddy so I didn't stay out long.

I decorated for christmas but I don't feel anything positive, just a numb melancholy.

[BubonicPlague]

It was so immature for me to act that way.

All because of I was influenced by him and his issues.

It transferred to me, and that was unacceptable.

Any how. I am lucky that I have a family and support that I need. He has the same things too, and he needs to realize what he has.

Don't take it for granted.

Here is my note to you (and you know who I'm talking to NICK):

There are others who are suffering way worse than what you going through. Many people would do anything just have all of these nice things that you have.

GET THAT THROUGH YOUR ****ING THICK HEAD!!!

[favoritefountain2]

I went to the office today, I was the ONLY one on my floor except for the security guard. I kept an eye on the servers, the files, and the transfers, but spent most of my time at the security desk (YAY Laptop!). It was fun hanging out. But I'm back home now. I think I'm going to go offline for a while.

[Bark]

I've been feeling pretty good. I don't have the hopelessness and pain of last week. All I can be is thankful.

Wish I could share the good feelings with all of you.

[Clara22]

My brother told my cousins I was too ill. They came running to the hospital thinking I was going to die. I had not seen them since 2003, I think. They told me we are family, that they will come to visit me at the hospital again and that they want to help me in any way. Then my brother came to visit me and for the first time I did not have stomach ache when he is around and we have a decent conversation. After that my nieces and nephew came with stuff for an early Xmas celebration. I had distributed little presents among the nurses here so later they brought some presents for me. My attendant could bring some stuff for me to prepare drinks for the nurses ( light drinks, not too strong ), my glass had water but we cheered anyway. It was nice.

[Mefisto]

I had serious relapse today after 2 days which gave me the illusion of getting better. Is it okay to feel need of attention and create multiple threads, here on PC? I have the impression that people here got tired of my threads and start to ignoring me.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by Clara22

My brother told my cousins I was too ill. They came running to the hospital thinking I was going to die. I had not seen them since 2003, I think. They told me we are family, that they will come to visit me at the hospital again and that they want to help me in any way. Then my brother came to visit me and for the first time I did not have stomach ache when he is around and we have a decent conversation. After that my nieces and nephew came with stuff for an early Xmas celebration. I had distributed little presents among the nurses here so later they brought some presents for me. My attendant could bring some stuff for me to prepare drinks for the nurses ( light drinks, not too strong ), my glass had water but we cheered anyway. It was nice.

It sounds as though you had some good Christmas blessings, in spite of illness. May you get well soon and have more good things happen.

[waterknob1234]

I thought I was having a good Christmas, then my husband talked to me like I was dirt. We had an argument and I let him have it. I told him I will not be talked to like I am trash. He apologized, but I am still upset. I will do all the family stuff and get over it eventually.

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

I thought I was having a good Christmas, then my husband talked to me like I was dirt. We had an argument and I let him have it. I told him I will not be talked to like I am trash. He apologized, but I am still upset. I will do all the family stuff and get over it eventually.

Waterknob, do not let anyone talk down to you! I spent most of my life "allowing" this. T says we teach.other people how to treat us.

[boomerango]

Such a dark time, when the lights are bright and full of color. May everyone feel a glimmer of hope.

I think I will celebrate the passing of the holidays.

[angelene]

We have a tree up and that's been helpful but it just doesn't feel like Christmas is supposed to feel. This feels like hard work and I'm just so tired.

[Timothybythesea]

Well i guess I made it through another day. Had a friend come over for a short time and then took care of snow removal. Tomorrow i have lunch with a friend but really want to be with my other friends that are more like my family. They say i am family but I wasn't invited to the cities (five hours from here) to be with them over the holidays. I guess I was wanting too much I know they care about me so that should make me feel better. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, I am still here, still depressed and still feel there is little or no point to my continued existence.

[maddnessreturns]

It doesn't feel like christmas. Just moved states so no friends besides my fiancé. My anorexia thoughts are awful and my nightmares are acting up again.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Went to work and it was a slow day. For some strange reason, for most of the day I just got thinking about death. Some people I have known just died recently.

Mostly I got thinking, 'what or where will I be in a year from now'? Will I still have my same job? Will I still live at my same place, even though there are times when I hate it? Will I be broke? Will I be very sick, perhaps in a hospital? Will I be dead by then? All of those questions! And yet, I can't seem to ask myself more positive questions like: will I live in a better place? Will I finally be in love with someone after waiting for many decades? Will I at least have some decent friends? Will my job improve?

After work I went to visit my friend because he had a gift for me. I was disappointed when I got to his house because he and his wife were preparing bread for a church service. I thought that his wife would be gone all day; and he and I would have a chance to talk. I didn't stay very long.

When I got home, I felt very sad and empty. I worked out and it was quite an effort to do it because I felt so down. But I did it! Tonight I went to the pool area and there were some people there, much to my surprise. I was hoping to be alone there for peace and quiet. The people that were there were pretty nice, but not my type. I haven't met anyone compatible in a long time at where I live.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by will19

Went to work and it was a slow day. For some strange reason, for most of the day I just got thinking about death. Some people I have known just died recently.

Mostly I got thinking, 'what or where will I be in a year from now'? Will I still have my same job? Will I still live at my same place, even though there are times when I hate it? Will I be broke? Will I be very sick, perhaps in a hospital? Will I be dead by then? All of those questions! And yet, I can't seem to ask myself more positive questions like: will I live in a better place? Will I finally be in love with someone after waiting for many decades? Will I at least have some decent friends? Will my job improve?

After work I went to visit my friend because he had a gift for me. I was disappointed when I got to his house because he and his wife were preparing bread for a church service. I thought that his wife would be gone all day; and he and I would have a chance to talk. I didn't stay very long.

When I got home, I felt very sad and empty. I worked out and it was quite an effort to do it because I felt so down. But I did it! Tonight I went to the pool area and there were some people there, much to my surprise. I was hoping to be alone there for peace and quiet. The people that were there were pretty nice, but not my type. I haven't met anyone compatible in a long time at where I live.

Maybe it is time for you to take a bit of risk (more than before) so 2015 is different and you like it more than 2014. Sending you a hug

depressed about christmas, depressed about new year, depressed about the prospect of this year ending,

i'm not doing good.

[Shriveled Muse]

Who was I trying to kid? No one but myself of course. But how could I ever have imagined that someone could love something like me?

Originally Posted by Shriveled Muse

Who was I trying to kid? No one but myself of course. But how could I ever have imagined that someone could love something like me?

we love you here!. (i know it's not the same), but we do