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#51
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Another emergency or weather condition got in the way of my makeup arriving. That sucks because apart from the cold, there really is nothing going on weather-wise around here. It makes me curious about the possible emergencies...
In other news, my oh-so-exciting life basically consisted of watching a Supernatural marathon on TV today. I suppose things could be worse...
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* Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
![]() Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, Clara22, color14u, TheOriginalMe, waterknob1234
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#52
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Well I finally got to the root cause of the itching, I had it right in an earlier post bedbugs -ugh. Must have picked them up from the train. I now have the wonderful task of deep cleaning my bedroom and then calling the pest control guys. I doubt I'll sleep tonight knowing that I'm not alone in here. I am exhausted at the best of times, the thought that I've got a load of unscheduled housework is just too much.
To those of you that struggle with keeping up with the chores ![]() |
![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, boomerango, Clara22, color14u, dandylin, eggplantlife, Nammu, SeekerOfLife, waterknob1234
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#53
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Good night all. Try to be at peace with yourself.
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Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. no matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness got there first, and is waiting for it - Terry Pratchett |
![]() eggplantlife
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![]() angelene, Bark, boomerango, eggplantlife, herethennow, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, tigersassy
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#54
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Still can't find my antidepressants and I need them. I feel ok about getting what was needed done today though, and I cook a great supper even if he doesn't touch the healthy veggies, I made it and good food is there for him. Don't have much energy at all, and still verrry cold here, it is minus stupid brrrrrr
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37781, Anonymous37914, Bark, boomerango, color14u, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#55
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Doing better today.....yesterday i relized I had run out of my latuda and hadn't had any for two days. The disconnect feeling was from the withdrawl, I think.
I forgot to drop off the Rx last Thursday when I got it, took it in on sat they said the didn't have that dose in stock, so come back mon. Forgot to pick it up until Tuesday .....then left it in the car. ![]() I'm very glad for the Rx coverage I have, the other parts of my insurance can suck but they paid 2,560.26 for my three month supplies, I paid 6.60. Who can cover a med that expensive? ![]() Been taking a hard look at my part in my mental health care, not liking what I see. If I have just accepted my Dx much sooner and when I saw new docs and just admitted to the BP I might have gotten stable years ago. Hmm, maybe shouldn't be going there either but it's time to own up to my refusal to admit to some symptoms.....oh no, I'm not irritatable, no not at all. I never have more energy than I know what to do with it. Just help me with the depression, but no ADs please. ![]()
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() angelene, Anonymous37781, Anonymous445852, Bark, color14u, TheOriginalMe
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![]() Bark, color14u, herethennow, TheOriginalMe
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#56
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Still down, but feel very very little better but not enough to get up.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous445852, Bark, color14u, Nammu
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#57
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For some reason, feeling a tad bit better today. I'll take it! Going to volunteer at the museum today, AA meeting, lunch with a friend who has bipolar too. One of these days, I have got to do some laundry.
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![]() color14u, eggplantlife, TheOriginalMe
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![]() angelene, Bark, Nammu
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#58
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Slept three hours on the sofa last night. Apparently it is the worst thing I could do, because the little critters will hunt me down from room to room. I hope they're not too hungry yet and can survive another night without their midnight feast. Judging by the number of bites I have they should be full for a while yet before they start stalking me. The pest control man will do an inspection tomorrow, the advice is that I sleep in the infested room.
![]() ![]() As far as I can tell there are a number of options for eradicating the pest, of course the best solutions are pricey, one firm that uses dogs to sniff out the infestation sites charges Ł2000, I have some money saved in case I lose my job but that much would clear me out. There are cheaper options but they may not work and I'm wary of pesticides as I'm asthmatic. I'm between a rock and a hard place - again. My anxiety is through the roof, I suppose I could just hit the diazepam tonight and hope it knocks me out. Though the last time I took diazepam it took my depression to sub-basement level and I've only just started to pick back up. The only glimmer of light I can hold on to is that at least the itching isn't liver damage caused by my meds. |
![]() angelene, Bark, boomerango, color14u, eggplantlife, Marla500, Nammu, waterknob1234
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#59
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I am reading that everybody is suffering from ridiculously cold temperatures. It is even cold where I live, going down to 23F which is probably warm compared to where some of you live. I called in sick from work today. I don't like to call in sick but this respiratory flu is too much for me. If I worked an easier job I would have gone in to work today. I am trying to decide whether or not to go to the doctor. That costs $77.00 that I don't have.
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![]() angelene, Bark, color14u, eggplantlife, Marla500, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#60
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Anxiety...that is all.
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I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
![]() angelene, Bark, color14u, TheOriginalMe
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#61
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Still down. Don't know what to do but a lot of advice given for me to do. Just either don't want to do them or can't. Feel better soon.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, boomerango, Clara22, color14u, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#62
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so tired. I'm trying to clean and organize my closet, but it's hard. I just can't seem to throw stuff away.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, color14u, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#63
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Went out for walk
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![]() TheOriginalMe
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![]() angelene, Bark, Clara22, color14u
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#64
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Officially hating my pdoc. Never went out feeling validated or heard.
I dont know how i feel at the moment. Down.. I guess. God I miss old T. Want to ring her up to talk abt all these coz I trust her more and she understands... But I don't know...
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, Clara22, color14u, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#65
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Could you change your Pdoc?
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
#66
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The last few months feel surreal, due to the happiness and peace generated. Finally had the strength to move away from the ex; discovered the most caring, funny, wonderful individual that has taken residence where he used to be in my mind and heart. These days? I laugh. I smile. I -feel- without anxiety, tears... depression.
I wish everyone could feel as I do today.
__________________
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "But the mind can not fool itself for long. At last it has to admit that it has learned some very frightening things, some very confusing things, but that it is still ignorant, too, and needs to learn a lot more." - T. M. Wright |
![]() angelene, Bark, color14u, LindaLu, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, tigersassy
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#67
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Can't take this sadness anymore
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, boomerango, color14u, LindaLu, TheOriginalMe
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#68
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I don't know where I am, how I'm feeling, or what to do. I'm numb.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, color14u, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#69
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I'm feeling very oppressed and depressed by my apartment. I really want to start getting out again but I'm much more afraid than I thought.
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![]() angelene, Bark, color14u, LindaLu, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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#70
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It's getting on towards bedtime now and I have the awful choice, sleep on the sofa or try out the bed. I've taken some sedating anti-histamines for the itching, they are only moderately effective on the itch and I feel bleh, but not drowsy. It could be a long night ahead of me. I hope those of you that like the games forum are "out to play" tonight, I could use the distraction.
I really don't like myself right now. I feel such a failure, I can't even keep a tidy house and that is what has got me into this mess. Wise brain keeps telling me these things just don't work like that, but depressed, ashamed, anxious brain says shut up wise brain. I also want to si, really lay into myself, but as I have a physio appt on Monday, I don't want to turn up covered in bruises or worse, the insect bites are going to be embarassing enough. Apart from I've been told not to move stuff from the bedroom until after it has been treated, I would have been in there bagging stuff up for the dump. I expect when all this is over I'll be too tired to do that and everything will get stuffed back in its corners until the next disaster. I guess I am on the borderline of being a hoarder, I can't get rid of stuff and I get obsessed with bits and pieces and "collect" them. I have an attic room full of junk and when I run out of floor space in my bedroom I take surplus stuff up to the attic or have a clear out and take about a quarter of what needs ditching to the dump and maybe give some of the better stuff to charity. I know I have to change before it is too late, so I do hope this is the wake up call I need. |
![]() angelene, Bark, boomerango, color14u, eggplantlife, LindaLu, Marla500, Nammu
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#71
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Doing ok. Went to the center to take the excersize class, the instructor was out sick. So instead I played Wii bowling with a couple others. Then walked nowhere on the threadmill. Stopped at redbox picked up a bad movie. Something called upside down? It's on but I'm not paying too much attention to it. Kids playing at archeological adventure in the catacombs.
![]() Hope everyone is doing well, if not ![]()
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, LindaLu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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#72
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Medications are messing me up. I don't know where I am...
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, color14u, eggplantlife, LindaLu, Nammu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#73
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I feel fat, gross, sloppy, unkempt. Even showered, dressed and made-up I look ridiculous. I just want to be normal, not a freak. How can I go out to see my friends? They'll be appalled. WTf is wrong with me? If I tell my T any of this she'll throw in the towel.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, color14u, eggplantlife, Nammu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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#74
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I've been having a rough time of it at work. I thought I was doing well and apparently people have been sending complaints about my work. To be fair, it's not just me they are complaining about, it's my department as a whole. People are hostile, and apparently one person said that we all need to be fired. It's hard to stay positive. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that I do have control. I am doing my best. That's all I can do. I am going to start applying for jobs. Very disappointing to say the least.
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![]() angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, color14u, Nammu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#75
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I'm doing well still.
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![]() Anonymous445852, TheOriginalMe
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![]() angelene, Bark, color14u, Nammu, Turtlesoup
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Closed Thread |
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