I have honestly figured out my depression, only thing is its sure untreatable.

Hello, First I want to say to post on a forum again is extrodinarly hard, I was shoved away by so many because of my love, ya know? So this is my last post, I'm sorry for my rants but Im so paranoid of the fact of the truth always lingering.

Since I was really young I noticed repeats of history, not war, not some great invention, rather the repeat of words turned in to lies. I for one have always cheerished the words love,friends, and best friend.

Being 17 and going through emense therapy, and dosages of drugs I've found professional help to be a mere money gimic in my situation knowing of the truth, it will not help me.

Furthermore, how many times honestly do people marry for 15 years, supposedly "love" theres spouse and even have kids then unexpectedly they pass away, 2 months later , 2 years later, or at some point they find a new "love". LOL its ridicdlous you know now I know why im so freaking crazy why live a 15 year lie then be brushed aside. You know why they remarry? Because they only think of there own pain they could give 2 shits about there dead spouse's feelings so they continue like it was a 15 year highschool relation to where it was sex 24/7 and love was used to "fit" in.

Of course this is a opinionative but I've saw it all too well. Also "best" friennds. What is "best" friends? To me its some word used to connect 2 people with a hobbie, sports,games,anything once that connection is broken they drift, thats not imo even a friendship.

Y'see I finally figured out why I'm so depressed and theres nothing nothing nothing I can do about it, because the world is in control, and sadly its fixable but humans are scared of change because they live in that day rather then in the whole time frame.

Sorry for my rant, take care all I hope you dont hate me, see you around.

I hope you stay and post... but go at your own pace you are comfortable with???

I think "love" changes with time... after the glow of "first married" then a real, livable relationship (should) builds... growing and loving together. If that doesn't happen, when the honeymoon is "over" ...there's nothing to keep them together.

Yes, best friends is highly subjective. But what's good...we each get to define it for our own self! I agree with what I think you're saying... once "friend" always friend, no matter what. The friendship changes as we do...but it's always there

don't hate you at all... good to see your post... do your best

((((((((((( Moonkin ))))))))))))))

I hope you do stick at it and decide to stay here.

Sounds like you are gradually working some things out for yourself. It's a painful journey but it is worth it.

It is worth going down the therapy route, but you need to stick with it even when it's tough.

Stay ok.

((((((((((((( Moonkin )))))))))))))

I agree with you about the "love" and "friends" issue......

I hope you stay here! I think you have "a lot to offer"

Take care

I hope you keep posting...

I would like to talk more about the world being in control...is it?

The world is in control because humans are, humans often dislike change because of the fear of it hurting there lifestyle in a way they won't be able to manage mentally. They say the worlds evil and it is but only because we choose to continue the path of our ancestors, in time god will burn is for this, and only the strong will survive the lecture of creation, i hope i am one.

I'm confused if humans are in control - how does the mention of god fit in with that - is he in control? or humans?

Maybe this is a topic for another forum.

"Furthermore, how many times honestly do people marry for 15 years, supposedly "love" theres spouse and even have kids then unexpectedly they pass away, 2 months later , 2 years later, or at some point they find a new "love". "

Is this not a testiment of the love the spouse had for the other. Someone who did not know love would not want to re-enter?

"Also "best" friennds. What is "best" friends? To me its some word used to connect 2 people with a hobbie, sports,games,anything once that connection is broken they drift, thats not imo even a friendship."

I think that may be a friend - a best friend in the sense I use it is fairly interdependant in my life.

"theres nothing nothing nothing I can do about it"

I don't want to sound flip - but each one of us has the power inside to change - yes we all struggle with it, but it is there. Our free agency to do as we want, I believe was given to us by our Creator.

I don't want to sound agrumentative about your positions...It just got me to thinking about what you posted...maybe you can see something else...your first post seemed a bit hopeless...maybe this will challenge that thinking.

Please don't stop posting.

Your opinions certainly are welcome in the world, as anyones. But I must say this is why I'm so fearful to post, as I scan other posts, not just on this forum but other support forums I notice very few are the way mine are, rather straight forward and supportive frankly I dont need a question toward a reasoning behind it, my depression is very odd to most with that its confusing enough to have the thoughts more less seek reasoning.

But if I must. My friends father past last year around this time, in 2 months his mother whom I thought loving and compassionte began sleeping and seeing other people, now on the verge of dating. I could give more examples if you'd like.

Also whom is in control? I don't know but we can sure see who wants to be in control, humans crave power and settle for very little but what we want. Therefor I beg to say humans are the most evil most arrogant race created and we continue down a stony path of destruction because we refuse to settle with limited power.

This is WHY I AM depressed I see no reason to move it, but I'm not a mod so *shrugs*.

Yes I'm frustrated and I'm sorry but 17 years of misfortunate thoughts make you crazy....

Ok so your a straight forward person - you have just as much right to post as I do...right? Even though I may not post in the same way.

The mother may have had difficulty dealing with the death and found comfort in other men. One possibility? Healthy way to deal with it...probably not

Trust me I have had intrusive thougths since I was twelve - almost 25 years later I still have them. Then again I didn't seek help until two years ago.

If you generalize - I can see why you would say humans are evil and arrogant. Many are not as you describe.

Everything has an opposite...

up/down
left/right
north/south
evil/good
cold/hot
love/hate
etc.

So if you see that then there are just as many "humans" who are not as you describe...

Moonkin, I am sorry you feel this way. The fickleness of people you illustrated in your post is something that resonates with me too.

People use the term ‘love’ or bandy the term 'friendship' when they clearly do not mean what they say. And sadly one can see prime examples of that in real life and on the boards. It does seem more like learning to play a game than being genuine.

However, I do not believe that this is necessarily untreatable. Counselling / therapy could help. If you’re not prepared to post on the boards, so be it. But don’t give up on yourself.

Do take care.

I give up. Goodbye forums.

Take care...If your ever ready to post again - look me up

I like a good discussion that challenges my thinking...

I completely agree with you Always.

About people's fickleness and that IMO this depression isn't untreatable (I don't believe anyone's depression is untreatable)

((((((( Moonkin ))))))) if ok

Sometimes we feel like it is when we are in the deepest depths.....but we have to reach within to grab or look for a hand or pull up ourselves.

I wish Moonkin would hang out... to feel that it is untreatable is in the depths indeed.

Whell... I did not see the first page... There would be plenty of room for discussion.... if Moonkin decided to hang out here.

I've had the same "best friend" for my entire life. She's more like family to me than some of my own family. I've known her longer than some of my own younger siblings. We've grown together, know each other, love each other and can talk about things that we cannot talk about with anyone else.

Her husband, and mine when he was still alive, didn't understand our relationship. Sucks to be them I guess. She's been married to her husband for almost 20 years, mine died after we'd been together after eight and I'm in no rush to "replace" him.

My husband was in the beginning a good friend, second only to my best friend. We loved each other, and I fell in love for all the right reasons. I gave him so much, and even right up to the end of his life when he became an abusive controlling, violent, SOB like you see on the talk shows I still love the man I fell in love with and married. We used to have fun together and I'd hoped, dreamt, right up to the end, that one day he'd wake up and remember, he'd see me again, love me again and stop abusing me.

I'm fighting to recover from PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and so many of the scars he left me with. Ditzy broad I am, I still love him. . . Sometimes I wish I just could stop loving him and move on with my life, forget the past and find someone new. I'd love to be held, to be needed, be appreciated and maybe even wanted. But it doesn't work that way, not for me.

Friends or lovers, doesn't matter, people who touch my heart and soul, good or bad, are a part of me . . .

Sam

((((((moonkin))))))))) so sorry you are feeling like this. One subject you touched on has touched me because I relate to it. I have been there. I lost my spouse of 17 yrs...an untimely death. Have you lost your spouse? I couldn't remember in your post. We all grieve in different ways. I don't remember much after his death because I kind of went numb. I did things I am not proud of but I can not change that now. I won't go into the details but it was a period of time that I hurt. When people hurt they can do stupid things...is this an excuse...no...but it happens. I do not think its healthy to dwell on the past nor do I think its healthy to worry about what others do but I try to look to the future and be the best I can be. I can't control the world and would never want to. For me there is only one who can....that is GOD.
I hope you decide to come back. I feel that your posting provides many of us to think deep. Its good to exercise the mind this way.
TC
Snow