[littlemissjess]

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months now, and I've become highly dependant on him. He goes to school with me, but we're in different grades so no same classes. He works 1-2 times a week maybe and has track everyday afterschool so we would only see eachother on days we have off.

He is a normal boy, has wonderful grades, got accepted to many colleges but is still deciding (he has 1 more year of highschool left after this year), is involved with track, has friends, no mental problems or anything.

Then there's me, I go to school, have ADD, can't remember squat, was an amazing softball player but quit when I had to get finger surgery last year, low self esteem, dependant on my boyfriend, and just lost my grandmother 2 weeks ago, which brings everything back down on me. I also just agreed to work for my mother at a medical office in our local hopsital doing paper work, but that just will stress me more but my family and I need the money.

We're so different but we're best of friends and I feel like I'm becoming to dependant on him. I get my moments of being so sad and I feel so bad about it. I keep screwing up and I just feel like such a bad person. I make him deal with everything I do, I'm becoming to dependant on him. I feel like he's my only thing to make me happy. I see a T, I go see her on Thursday, but I can't get into a doctor to prescribe me meds until July.

I wake up on days we have off and text him or call him asking what we're doing today and what he's doing. I feel like I need to know every second what we're going to do and everything. I trust him, I just feel like I need to know.

I'm just a bad person. I want to be perfect. I try so hard in my life but nothing I do is enough. I'm just sick and tired of everything.

[prettyjolie]

you're lucky you at least have your boyfriend.. ive never even had a boyfriend for longer than like a month.. iknow, pathetic.
i dont even have that.. that's so cute, you are best friends..
he sounds like a great guy.. deff a keeper. =]

it just seems to me that you are comparing yourself too much to him. You have to remember that you are good enough for him..

i know how you feel, tho.. i'm sick of everything too.

[littlemissjess]

He is a great guy, I just feel bad putting all my weight on him. I think he has enough to worry about, but this guy has been in love with me for 3-4 years now until I finally gave him a chance.

I just don't want to put so much weight on him with my problems and ruin his life, which brings me down more. He's going to alot more in life than I will ever.

[prettyjolie]

Don't be so down on yourself..
Maybe you're just going through a difficult time right now.. and you need his support ..

there must be something great about you to have attracted someone like him.
3/4 years is a really long time to be in love with someone, i think.. and see, he didnt give up on you, which must mean he really cares about you..

Dont sell yourself short. you have a lot to offer him, or else he would have moved on, dont u think?

[littlemissjess]

That's true. He had about 8 other girls he says that like him and he says that they could give him what I don't give him (not sexually) But, I mean I forget things like crazy and I screw up alot. I feel like a cry-baby though and I feel like he doesn't want to deal with it.

[prettyjolie]

i guess your problem is that you dont want to lose him, huh?

well maybe you should find someone else who you can talkt to about your problems, and lay off him every once in while.. so you dont feel that you're pressuring too much and "ruining his life"

you should try seeing a conselour or someone who can help you in dealing with what you're going through..

anyway, if you need someone to complain to, you can send me message whenever you want... =]

[nicole84]

Trust me I know how you feel. My boyfriend is stable, has a great job, everything going for him. I feel like im a burden on him alot of the time, seeing as I have no job, don't feel like i'm going anywhere. I wonder when he'll get sick of me and just leave. And that does scare me cos i'm not sure how well i'd cope..

[littlemissjess]

I know. I like texting him nice things during the day saying "You look really nice today" or "Good luck with track tonight" and things like that, that are just nice. I feel like I'm a huge negative thing on him and he doesn't want to deal with me

[Direction]

It sounds nice what you text...I can understand that you may feel like a burdern.

Us guys to tend to like to rescue or solve problems - you know he may need those messages...he may not be all that perfect on the inside. Most of us put up a good front. Just a thought...

[littlemissjess]

I know. I feel sometimes that he doesn't care, he doesn't compliment me as much, talks about getting a new girlfriend (but when I confront him about this, he says he's only kidding and he would never break up with me so i shouldn't worry), and he gets mad easily.

Say something nice to me one second - I'm happy. Joke around like that I get kinda down. Say something nice - Happy. Is that bi-polar or just being normal? Or being depressed? Or should I not just get upset and change my mood like that and not take it so seriously?

But sometimes I think well he does care -- he wants me at his track meets (which I can't always make), has a collague of notes/pictures/cards I gave him in his room, writes me notes, and makes plans with me.

Sometimes I think he acts ways I don't feel he cares since he gets stressed. Then I get depressed, then I feel he get mad when I'm depressed then I feel I'm weighing him down and ruining his life.

[nicole84]

I know how u feel again, what my bf says can affect my mood so much. It makes me wish I was more in control of my life and not let what he says and does affect me so much. I get upset easily too if he says something not that good, why do we let others affect our emotions so easily?? There has to be a way to be stronger!!

[littlemissjess]

I know. I really need a HUGE emotional boost. I wish I was happy so maybe I'd feel like we were a normal couple. Then maybe I'd feel and be more sucessful than I am now.

Also, a while ago he didn't have a problem with my low self-esteem (well, now atleast I think he doesn't care). He used to help me plan things, make better decissions, etc. Then MANY people felt he was controlling. Now that he's not doing that I feel like he doesn't care, but then that gives people the impression of him being a controlling boyfriend.

[Direction]

Just keep in mind that your are both young and just starting to learn about caring and loving each other.

Gosh - I'm scared as a parent thinking that in a matter of 4 years my oldest will be your age and struggling with these issues.

Hang in there - let him know the kidding doesn't feel that way

[littlemissjess]

We have both been in relationships longer than what we are in. I feel so bad because I feel like he doesn't want or need me in his life, and he's acting weird, and talking to other girls (he says it's because he knows I'll find out and he wants to test my trust for him). I'm just so scared. Sometimes I think it's better off without him, but he's made me a better person. I now stay away from alcohol and cigarettes and he helps me with school work. I just feel like I haven't been a good person to him and he doesn't want me anymore. I just don't like myself lately and sometime I feel like I want to die.

[Direction]

Playing the trust games is never wise for a boy or a man...

Testing trust and the kidding the way he does - doesn't sound very loving...

Do you think it is time to let him know that the mind games aren't very fun?

Although I don't know your specifics, any boy or any man playing games in your head probably isn't someone for you.

[littlemissjess]

Well, he broke up with me about an hour ago. I'm pretty upset. I don't know if we'll be back, or if it's official but he said "I've decided we're over." but whatever. I deserve every bit of it.

[Direction]

I'm sorry - you deserve to be treated well!

[littlemissjess]

No I don't. I haven't done anything good for anyone. Just worthless.

[Direction]

I'm sorry you feel that way - I can understand why you do.

Breakups are never easy and we usually blame ourselves.

Hang in there...

[littlemissjess]

I'm trying to. I don't even have friends....

[Robyn222]

You keep talking about not being real. Like if you were perfect you would be real and he would not have left you. But there is a lot of illogic in there. #1. ALL people are real. You hit them, they hurt. #2 No one is perfect, though some are very good at giving the illusion that they are or that you should be (the latter is not nice, not a perfect person), #3. That if you were real (which you are) and perfect (which no one is) he would not have left you). Not true.

I know it hurts. And it is really hard when you don't have friends to hang out with. But just act as though you are glad to be rid of him. Who needs a womanizer? Not you! Keep your chin up kiddo!

[littlemissjess]

Yeah. Now I get to sit home everynight, watch movies alone and talk to the cats. That's pretty much all I have, and parents.