[fosterthehuman]

every other person is better than i am. i know it sounds like i'm just thinking really negative thoughts rn (and i used to think this too) but it's actually true. no matter what i do, no matter how experienced i am, no matter how long i stay somewhere, no matter how old i am, no matter what i look like, i'm always the rookie. i'm treated like the bottom of barrel. it's happened all my life.

a couple of weeks ago i was fired from my internship. i was working at a theme park as a busser but because of my social anxiety, i got really anxious while talking to customers. my trainer told me that i could possibly be relocated to another location in the park that would be more comfortable for me. so i wait a few days for a new job to open up, only to be called in and told that no jobs were available and that i was fired. i live in the internship's provided housing so the ppl that called me in told me that i will have to leave housing and move out. my other roommates have trouble with talking to customers and get told that they're too quiet all the time. but i guess i was worse than them so they decided to get rid of me. also one of my roommates was late to one of her training days and so management just called her in and told don't do it again. i feel like i'm not worth it to anyone. i feel like everyone just wants to secretly get rid of me. like there's always someone who can just replace you cause i really suck and deserve to be here in the first place.

it's like that in my relationships too, in my first relationship, i got broken up with. guys that say they like me, stop liking me and later go out with better looking girls.

i feel like an outcast in my family, i feel like people that i try to become friends with get quickly bored of me and move on to someone more interesting. it keeps happening and nothing is changing.

i just give up. i don't want to be hopeful anymore. i'm not worth it.

[JD99]

I'm really sorry about the events that unfolded on you. That's a crushing feeling, to feel like everyone is better at something than you, no matter what it is. I feel like that at times and rarely am I the one whom is better at said thing, but I do know he feeling of feeling everyone is better than yourself. But I want to tell you please do not give up. These are rough times it sounds like, and I'm sorry. But please keep fighting. You have the strength to post how you are feeling and that takes a lot of god damn strength and courage in of itself, but if you can do that, you sure as hell can get through this! I believe you can!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[fosterthehuman]

i just feel like i can't get through it, this kind of stuff has happened throughout my entire life. but thanks for the support though

[Tauren]

Having social anxiety doesn't make you any "worse" than anyone else. Maybe worse at talking to customers, but that's hardly the only skill in the world.

[annoyedgrunt84]

I always feel like everyone has it more together than me, it's a symptom of depression plus trying to improve myself. I feel like the right thoughts are often in my head "You just need to do this, or try that" but I can't make myself act on them. I am terrible at asking for help as well. I always convince myself that I'm bothering people or I'm just not worth their time. I don't know if I'll ever get it figured out.

[francisR]

hi Fosterthehuman

The truth is that everyone is equally worthy. People find they are good at most things and not so good at a few. That people have treated too badly and tried to make you feel inferior does not reflect on you, but on their bad behavior.
I'm sorry you lost your job at the theme park. That other people were also quiet and not fired is not fair. But there is nothing that can be done about that. Don't let it make you feel unworthy.
It is obvious from your emails that you are highly intelligent and can express yourself very well. It could be that a job which allowed you to work pretty much on your own will work out better for you.
Don't let your experience with relationships make you feel bad either. What has happened is that you have been unfortunate enough not to come in contact with a really caring person, which is the only type that is, any use in any case.
I honestly feel that fellow sufferers make the best friends. Which is why I would suggest to you to get in contact with Nami the organization for the mentally ill that you can Google, and they run peer to peer support groups in most states. That would give you the opportunity to make good friends. A mental health drop-in center, if there is one in your area will serve also.
I know what it is like when things don't work out. It is very discouraging. However, it always is better to keep on going and persevere to make things better. And I really hope and pray that does happen for you. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[JohnCrow]

The First Truth is that we are not all special, we are not all equal in all ways

Some people are smarter, faster, better looking, stronger, hell even luckier (although that is hard to make an objective stance on). And sometimes we can do everything right and still fail and someone else muddles through life, a total screw up and ends up successful

But there is no need or reason to heap more crap on yourself. You suffer from depression, like everyone else here. It is not a blessing, it is not a positive in any way, shape or form: It sucks

It is like our own brains have betrayed us. And that is such an intimate form of betrayal that is hard to get past. I personally wish I could angry enough to rage pull myself out of this, to shuck off the burden.

But I can't

And it really hurts to know I am simply not strong enough

Or that someone will slap me in the face and tell me to "get over it". But I know the only result would be pain and a bright red slap mark.

And this leads to the second great Truth: There is still a stigma associated with mental illness. Even among sufferers. Because it is our brain that is the source, we are seen as weak, as lacking gumption, lacking drive (Does the phrase "just get over it" sound familiar? How about "What have you got to depressed about?")

Imagine this was a board for people who suffered from something called Lazy Leg Syndrome. This (fictional) syndrome causes your legs to not work quite right, with effects from occasionally rendering walking difficult or, at worst, renders you unable to walk. Would people say "well, if you just went got out and went for more walks" or "if you really wanted to walk, you could"

If you took medication to resolve this and it caused you to stumble from time to time, there would be sympathy. Or, if the worst symptoms hit you and you were in a wheelchair, everyone would defer to you, offer to help you and far more assistance programs to assist you in getting by

I know most won't read this (TL;DR) but maybe, just maybe, someone will and will come to realize that while the feelings are real, the cause is not

[ElisaB]

Originally Posted by fosterthehuman

every other person is better than i am. i know it sounds like i'm just thinking really negative thoughts rn (and i used to think this too) but it's actually true. no matter what i do, no matter how experienced i am, no matter how long i stay somewhere, no matter how old i am, no matter what i look like, i'm always the rookie. i'm treated like the bottom of barrel. it's happened all my life.

i feel like an outcast in my family, i feel like people that i try to become friends with get quickly bored of me and move on to someone more interesting. it keeps happening and nothing is changing.

i just give up. i don't want to be hopeful anymore. i'm not worth it.

I'm sorry you're going through this! I'm right there with you! There is nothing I can say to make you feel better - unfortunately. It will pass! It's hard to stay positive when so much negative surrounds you. I'm in the service industry as well and we're constantly surrounded my negativity! I think I'm developing a second personality, which I don't think it a good thing... but it helps me cope with the BS of the restaurant/bar. I know you're having a hard time, but as an experiment, are you willing to try role playing next time you're working? Make up an alter ego and roll with it? Make this person fearless, confident, cocky even... whatever it is that causes you anxiety when you work? idk, I'm spitballing here. But I know when I'm down, I reach for MY other me to take over while at work to make it happen! Best of luck... don't let the service industry bring you down!!! It's unforgiving and cruel!! Find a different job... something that's more fitting of your skills...

Oh, and I'm sorry JohnCrow, I disagree, we are ALL special... we are all different, which makes us all special!

[fosterthehuman]

Originally Posted by ElisaB

I'm sorry you're going through this! I'm right there with you! There is nothing I can say to make you feel better - unfortunately. It will pass! It's hard to stay positive when so much negative surrounds you. I'm in the service industry as well and we're constantly surrounded my negativity! I think I'm developing a second personality, which I don't think it a good thing... but it helps me cope with the BS of the restaurant/bar. I know you're having a hard time, but as an experiment, are you willing to try role playing next time you're working? Make up an alter ego and roll with it? Make this person fearless, confident, cocky even... whatever it is that causes you anxiety when you work? idk, I'm spitballing here. But I know when I'm down, I reach for MY other me to take over while at work to make it happen! Best of luck... don't let the service industry bring you down!!! It's unforgiving and cruel!! Find a different job... something that's more fitting of your skills...

Oh, and I'm sorry JohnCrow, I disagree, we are ALL special... we are all different, which makes us all special!

I've looked for many jobs before and a lot of them don't fit my skills because they require me to still be talkative to customers. At my last retail job, everyone saw me as a weirdo because I was quiet and kept to myself. So my brilliant boss thought it would be a good idea to make me the store greeter, obviously I was horrible at that. And the same thing happened where they asked if I would be comfortable working fitting rooms. And I said yes. Luckily I quit that job because it was seasonal. But I just don't fit in at any job. Either i'm not able to do the work because i'm too stupid or i'm too quiet and make everyone around me uncomfortable. I know there are careers that don't require you to talk to people, and that's what I was planning to do. In this internship, I planned on taking this job so I can move higher in the company and work at some of their better jobs, some where you don't have to talk to any customers and you're only focusing on the project at work. But once again, I failed at even the simplest of tasks.

[ElisaB]

Originally Posted by fosterthehuman

I've looked for many jobs before and a lot of them don't fit my skills because they require me to still be talkative to customers. At my last retail job, everyone saw me as a weirdo because I was quiet and kept to myself. So my brilliant boss thought it would be a good idea to make me the store greeter, obviously I was horrible at that. And the same thing happened where they asked if I would be comfortable working fitting rooms. And I said yes. Luckily I quit that job because it was seasonal. But I just don't fit in at any job. Either i'm not able to do the work because i'm too stupid or i'm too quiet and make everyone around me uncomfortable. I know there are careers that don't require you to talk to people, and that's what I was planning to do. In this internship, I planned on taking this job so I can move higher in the company and work at some of their better jobs, some where you don't have to talk to any customers and you're only focusing on the project at work. But once again, I failed at even the simplest of tasks.

Don't feel bad!! Please! Can you type? Fast and well?? Do data entry! It pays well and you don't deal with people. As well as programming... there's options. Don't lose hope. Service industry sucks! I wouldn't recommend it to anyone! There's a cookie mold for it and if you can't act like you belong to it, you just don't fit it. I'm an amazing actress!! But it's tiresome and every so often I go into my programming hole... it helps. Don't depend on those A-holes... you can do this without them!!

[fosterthehuman]

Originally Posted by francisR

hi Fosterthehuman

The truth is that everyone is equally worthy. People find they are good at most things and not so good at a few. That people have treated too badly and tried to make you feel inferior does not reflect on you, but on their bad behavior.
I'm sorry you lost your job at the theme park. That other people were also quiet and not fired is not fair. But there is nothing that can be done about that. Don't let it make you feel unworthy.
It is obvious from your emails that you are highly intelligent and can express yourself very well. It could be that a job which allowed you to work pretty much on your own will work out better for you.
Don't let your experience with relationships make you feel bad either. What has happened is that you have been unfortunate enough not to come in contact with a really caring person, which is the only type that is, any use in any case.
I honestly feel that fellow sufferers make the best friends. Which is why I would suggest to you to get in contact with Nami the organization for the mentally ill that you can Google, and they run peer to peer support groups in most states. That would give you the opportunity to make good friends. A mental health drop-in center, if there is one in your area will serve also.
I know what it is like when things don't work out. It is very discouraging. However, it always is better to keep on going and persevere to make things better. And I really hope and pray that does happen for you. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

they didn't try to make feel inferior. I just feel inferior, and they're just better than me. I honestly don't have any strengths, I only have weaknesses. And I'm starting to get used to being treated unfairly, it's happened throughout my entire life. And thank you for the resource, I will take a look into it.

[kingv]

Hello fosterthehuman,

Why do you cause so much pain to yourself? Why do you let all of your thoughts cause so much pain? You can control your thoughts and your emotions, you just need to practice, this world isn't about being better than anyone. That's limited. All of us have strengths and abilities, all of us are equal, think about it this way, after 100 years when you pass away and your body is dirt, what's the difference between you and other people of your same age? (the dead ones haha) None. There is no difference, we are all the same specie, but what differentiates us from one another is what we choose to do. You can do anything if you have the determination and the curiosity, the only person who you should compete is with yourself. YOU are your greatest competitor. How were you 5 years ago? The same? No. You gathered experience and knowledge, so you're better. You grow and advance at your own pace. The only thing that you should care about is yourself, others are there just to be a part of your game. Get in touch with your inner self, search for answers if you have questions, if not, just try to be happy and fill yourself with as much positive things and experiences as you can, the only one who can hurt you is YOU, so think about it, you have a limited time on this planet, do you really want to spend that time hurting and feeling bad and trying to be better than others?

[francisR]

Hi Fosterthehuman

It is difficult to get just the right job for you. What about office work? Is there some careers advisory agency that you could go to that could assist you in this choice.? Don't see yourself as a failure. You are not and have just experienced something that does not work for you. Certainly I used to have a lot of social anxiety. But as I got a bit of a handle on depression and anxiety. The social anxiety lessened considerably as it will for you. There is in the US an organization in some states called vocational rehab that might help also. Take care. I hope and pray your weekend will be good. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[notthisagain]

Here are some things that have helped me. I struggle with social anxiety and feeling "less than" other people. Keep what you think might be helpful and toss the rest.

For me, I've deliberately put myself into situations where I have to interact with other people, an "exposure therapy" of sorts. It's difficult at first and it takes a lot of work, but it's helped me to develop the skills to interact with other people.

A couple of books that have helped me are Feeling Good by David Burns and Maximum Self Esteem by Jerry Minchinton. The first book helps to identify cognitive distortions and challenge self-defeating thoughts. The second one helps to get to the root of how low self-esteem is developed. The book also has some examples of positive affirmations that you can try to sort of retrain your brain. It takes a lot of work, but for me it's worth it.

I have also taken the Meyers-Briggs test and read about the sixteen personality types. Some people are just naturally outgoing while other people are reserved. If you look into it and discover that maybe you happen to be an introvert, you can look into careers that are suitable for people with your personality type. Career counseling can also help.