snags /dilemmas/ traps

hi all i'm in quite a good positive phase at the mo,my creative urges are coming back, i'm thinking in picking up sculpture again i so long want to escape from this illness with its limitations, my fear is of getting ill again if the changes i make take me out of my wellness and start a whole depressive cycle again. some people say listen to your inner self make changes informed and with support,i feel my thinking is so geared to the worst will happen , i can't differentiate between doing a change that is good for me or whether i am setting myself up for failure considering the recurrent nature of the illness ,i guess that i'm saying a change and a new lifestyle will stop me having this illness and the only way, is to find something i want to do and then do it , why is life so twisted or is it me?!!

I know exactly what your talkin about. My family gets so upset with me because they say I don't try to get better. I have in the past, but it never works. It always seems like i'm setting my self up for the inevitable fall anyway. So from here I cant fall too far, you know what I mean?
But I've been down here so long i forget what happiness looks like, how the sun feels. But i'm comming to a place where a choice has to be made. I cant live like this anymore. the truth is i haven't really been living for a long time.
So change doesn't make itself, and healing doesn't happen over night.
So anyway I just wanted to say that I can relate to the fear of the inevitable fall, but maybe its time to change the way we think......

Nothing gets done all-at-once? You don't have to become Michelangelo or Da Vinci tomorrow? LOL Just "have fun" and experiment with where you are. 5+ years ago I decided to get my second BA and just finished last week and this week I'm in grad school :-) but, 6-10 years ago when I was looking, thinking, hoping, wondering, etc. about going to grad school, it was "impossible" extremely scary and depressing to think about expecially since I was withdrawing from classes right and left.

Give yourself permission to try things out (and to fail at some of them!) while you find the "right" thing for you to do "next." Keep in the present, it's really the only safe place to be. Worrying about tomorrow or regretting yesterday are the true traps.