[Direction]

Feeling really scared right now...

I'm feeling really off...I'm frightened to take the step that is probably necessary. I don't like the "H" word...been there twice before...With out saying the words I want to find out if there is a bed at the location I've been to. "H" won't give that info out to the public so Julie says - fXXk her! I'm not going unless I know with out a doubt there is a bed available. Today would be a good day many discharges happen on Monday morning.

It really isn't that bad - I tell myself at least so I think - there is only 9 more hours before I can go to bed and four more before I can leave work - can I take one hour at a time?

I've email my T who wants me to talk Pdoc - I tried to call but as the VM was about to record I hung up - I'm afraid, so afraid to say the words...and then have no choice - I like choice.

What will happen with visitation of my children - would she try to take it away...

Well that is long enough for now...

(((((((((((((Direction)))))))))))))))) Could she? You wouldn't happen to know any lawyers? That bites. Can you go to the "H" and sign in and if they don't have a bed then sign yourself right back out? I don't suppose you could do that, can you?
Why wouldn't you have a bed? Aren't there other "H"s you can check into?

I don't know what to tell you, all I can do is give you hugs.

[Direction]

The second time in - no beds available in the mental health section - ended getting an ambulance ride to a hospital 120 miles away - Insurance doesn't pay a lot on ambulance rides - Think the cost was $1,200. I would rather drive my self...

And once you say certain words you can try but you are not going to be leaving on your own - I tried to be released to a church leader who would take full responsbility for watching me...

Thanks for the hugs.

That really bites with the ambulance ride. Now, why wouldn't they tell you whether or not there are any beds? That makes no sense to be wasting all that money driving all around town to find a place with a bed. How absurd! Can your doctor/counsler call and ask? Or could you walk into a medical emergency room and say you're feeling suicidal? They'll have to direct you directly to a place that has a bed available. Wouldn't they? And your insurance will pick up the emergency tab if you're admitted, won't they? Or do you have to actually try to kill yourself for it to be an emergency that insurance will pay for?

[LittleMouse]

Direction I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so scared today! I too count the hours until I can go to sleep and sometimes have to just take the day one hour at a time. I've been in the hospital a couple of times for my depression and I hope I never go again. But I know that one day I may have to. When I get that feeling like I need to go I try to concentrate on just getting through one hour...thinking of something positive...which is hard sometimes. I hope this will provide you with some needed support today and thank you for the recent welcome as I am a new member to the community.

LittleMouse

Direction--

I hear you and I am listening. Sorry you are having such a tough time. I am hear if you want to talk. I know taking one hour sometimes one second at a time and it is okay. You do what ever it takes to take care of you. If you want to talk please pm me. I may not know you but I would like to be there for you. Please take care of you and know there are lots of us here pulling for you.

purplesecrets

[Direction]

Pickle - they will tell a pdoc - I've seen this one twice for me and I'm not sure how he is going to react...My T who is in the same clinic was going to mention it if he saw him...I'm pretty sure he is going to go see him based on my question...

They call it the access center and yes you can walk in - but saying certain things they will find a bed somewhere in the state - obviously they try for the closest.

Direction, you should be able to call the hospital to find out if there is a bed available. Should not have to tell them your name either.
I'm not a lawyer, pdoc, T or even brains but as long as you admit yourself voluntarily you can check out at any time.
If the men in white coats (blue uniforms in my case) come and get you it is a mandatory 3 day stay. At least it is that way where I live. That is experience talking.
I'm really sorry your are feeling so badly. I do hope everything works out for you, As you said, one hour at a time and I know that even an hour can seem like an eternity.
TC

[Direction]

I should but it didn't happen - they wanted to know who I was and I said I wasn't comfortable giving that information out. She said that she couldn't give that out to the general public - so I basically hung up. I'm guessing I was put in touch with someone who doesn't have any experience dealing with someone who is asking about getting a bed in a mental health facility - I may call back - I'm pissed so probably not.

Well we are down to 1 1/2 hours to go for work...didn't accomplish much...and it is going to kick my but in about two more weeks.

I'm burned out and ready to resign...

Even if you give your name what can they do? They certainly don't have the authority. Maybe if you have been there before you could give them your name and tell them you were a previous patient. Also tell them that you don't want to drive there unless they can guarantee you space. See what they say. If they start giving you the run around you can always hang up.

Good Luck. Hang in there it is almost quitting time.

[Direction]

Thanks for the advice - I'm kind of done reaching out IRL...

One more hour of work...

[Fuzzybear]

[mlpHolmes]

Dear Direction, Are you safe (with yourself)? Maybe this ? will help you decide about the "H". May you be aware of all the people who love & care so much about you.

Direction, i am so very sorry that you're going through this hell right now. could you use a fake name? i've never worked in a psych hospital that wouldn't tell someone if they have a bed.......that's bizarre.

take care of yourself and stay in touch here........love, pat

[meander]

Direction,

I really hope you're feeling less scared. You're a big inspiration to me in the way you face your problems directly rather than locking them away like me. I hope you can get something sorted out, you're a fighter so don't give up yet, even if the people are being stupid.

(((Direction)))

- Meander

thinking of you and hoping things get better real soon.....

[Direction]

I made it through the night - a little were and tear between alcohol and SI...

Feeling a bit up now - grand ideas are entering my mind...so goes the roller coaster of life. I much prefer the up...even though that can get you into trouble too...

Thank you all for your words of encouragement - they do mean a lot...

I'm not very good at taking compliments, Meander...but thank you.. Being here at PC fills a void that I haven't figured out yet...and I'm glad that whatever I have posted has helped a little.

The three people I called IRL life were not available at the time of my call...One has changed a number...I know anyone of them would have helped. Though I'm not sure i really wanted any IRL help...

[Gabby2007]

Direction,
[[[[ hugs ]]]]. no advice to give, just [[[ hugs ]]]]