[ouch]

Can't take it anymore - too much crap - I feel like a walking medicine cabinet (and zombie). Can't sleep anyway, so what's the point of poisoning my system? Psychiatrist just keeps adding more and more meds... Scared to stop- scared to start lithium in addition to the 2 anti-dep's I'm already on!! THINK I WILL JUST QUIT!!! I don't even care if I crash and burn - doing it anyway, so what's the point?

[asylumgardens]

how long have you been on them? i assume a long time. Maybe they need to put you on something different? I'm no doctor, and i have no idea about meds really, except that the doctors always say to not stop taking them..

[ouch]

I have tried EVERYTHING and either get really bad side effects or they stop working... The Pdoc wants to start me on lithium, because my mood is either really good or horrible, and although he doesn't really think i have hypomania he thinks it could help stabilize me. I am scared to take lithium, scared of adding more to my body. Just want to feel ok without anything!

[asylumgardens]

Well there are probably holistic approaches to depression with herbs, acupuncture, etc.. i have never really looked into it, but maybe that would interest you?

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ouch said:
I have tried EVERYTHING and either get really bad side effects or they stop working... The Pdoc wants to start me on lithium, because my mood is either really good or horrible, and although he doesn't really think i have hypomania he thinks it could help stabilize me. I am scared to take lithium, scared of adding more to my body. Just want to feel ok without anything!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Same.

Who do we complain to? I feel like writing a 'returning faulty goods' letter (re crappy stupid brain).

:>

[ouch]

that's what it feels like! that my brain is out of whack, that i'm losing it... that i can't stand up on my own 2 feet, that everything keeps falling apart, that work is too hard to stay on top of, that intimate relationships never work out, that i'm on a stupid rollercoaster, except i never CHOSE to be on it!

[drunksunflower]

I do better on Celexa but then I get pissy about having to take it and then i give up and then i get messy and then i'm starting ALL OVER AGAIN ...

sigh.

hope it works out for ya.

for me, work is only hard when my brain goes out of whack ... like now ... lol ...

relationships, well i have stayed away for a while. not worth it and im not worth being with right now.

[ouch]

My brain feels out of whack right now! can barely concentrate, and i'm on stupid meds... nothing works!!

[drunksunflower]

I think mine is still kicking in (2.5 wks after stop start crap).

But I wish I had not stopped and started cos then i'd be heaps better ...

but then, i read stuff about it going away by itself ...

a girl does some research to understand things better and ends up MORE CONFUSED ...

where is the sense in that, huh huh?

are you working at the moment ouch? (remember you said you had had a break).

[ouch]

I am working - 4 days a week (not 5 yet)... but having some trouble concentrating again. CANNOT take sick leave again! scared I'll get fired...

[drunksunflower]

you doing well ...

i am even considering going to dr to ask for a cert so i don't have to go to work tomorrow legitimately .... today i took off ...

arrrghhh.

is a dilemma indeed.

good on ya for getting up to 4 after being off.

[ouch]

Thanks!
i have to go to work tomorrow too - i've been skipping work A LOT - arrive late always, but I can get away with it in my job. Not good though... need to get it together. Maybe a certificate could work for you - the 2 mo. i took off saved me - i was really suicidal...

Oh believe me, I know exactly how you feel. At one time I was taking 7 different meds not counting my blood pressure and thyroid meds.
I went off the meds and landed in the emergency room at the local hospital. (what fun!) The pdoc on call at the hospital looked over my meds list and told me I should get a new pdoc. (HA)
Of couse the next day he backed off his statement being much more politically correct.
I certainly don't know the answers but I do feel for you.
((((((ouch))))))

[Wants2Fly]

((((((((((((Ouch)))))))))))))))))

(((((((((Drunksunflower))))))))

[Grace03]

Hi Everyone!

Just began posting a few days ago..and am enjoying reading others posts.

I have Bipolar II with MDD...severe spirals down...I know the nastiness of ANY depressive episode. This is a long journey my friends. Starts with getting the proper Dx, then the proper meds by trial & error. I finally reached stability 4 weeks ago after 8 mths of depression.

There is hope for depression..however it does take its toll, after each new drug is added/adjusted...work through the initial side effects..BUT giving the meds a chance to work. I found in 4-6 weeks, on ALL my meds was needed to really assess its effectiveness.
Unless the suide effects are completly unbearable..or serious, I stuck it out and have found relief from my high anxiety level & depression.
All medical people tell you to "be patient" "its a process" its a long journey to stability/relief" and I have found they are right,

If you can just stick it out-hold on for abt 4 weeks, the meds kick in, the interactions happen,,,,,,if the meds are thr right ones.

So. If you can....hang in there. I believe it is a much better choice than quitting..and restarting again.

[HerOdyssey]

I stopped taking meds. I felt that I'd rather feel miserable and gloomy all the time rather than feel nothing at all; not to mention the complete death of my libido.

But there are times when I think I should lean on them again. Especially when it comes to coping with each day's stress. I don't know which is the lesser of two evils, frankly.

Maybe you ought to look into another Psychiatrist with another approach. Different meds? Don't give up hope completely. Please.

[ouch]

My family is pressuring me to start the lithium and not give up. I have to admit i have been decreasing the AD and haven't noticed a diff yet - actually I have been in a REALLY good mood - like feeling this way and don't want to not feel 'up' -confused. Debating. Don't want to end up suicidal again or worse... but don't want to be a walking pharmacy, not feel anything - including my 'ups'

[(JD)]

How are you doing ouch? What did you decide?

(And herodyssey, are you out from under your raining umbrella yet?)

[wickedwings]

gosh, i know exactly what you're going through. i've been on tons and tons of meds. they either don't work, work for a short time and fizz out on me, or only work partially. and, also, even add side effects like what i'm going through at this time. it sucks, especially when it makes me feel like a total retard. i'm a highly educated person, like a freaking scientist! oh yeah, i'm always doing research to find better ways to manage my condition. heh. biochemistry is funny thing, huh? anyway, i don't know what i can say other than that i totally sympathize with you. and i'm having similar problems that you have. i've been on prozac, lithium, elavil, zoloft, wellbutrin, paxil, desyrel, parnate, haldol, mellaril, effexor, remeron. now, i'm on cymbalta. i've had depression since 1992! dagnabbit, it sucks when nothing can get me out of the pit. but we got to hang in there, so we can make it to where something does work for us. i know it's a long journey, and painful. please don't let my post depress any of you. i don't know what the heck i'm saying because i'm stuck in a crazy fog.

[ouch]

I'm doing a bit better... decided not to start lithium and lowered the AD, but got a dog. It's helping. I've actually been on a bit of a rollercoaster - doing really well one day and badly the next. Today is a good day (except really tired because don't sleep much), so the world seems rosy. Know it won't last, but nice while it does!! my pdoc gave me a mood log (trying to convince me i need lithium and spent all of last session trying to do so). Luckily it's my choice ultimately and don't plan on lithium unless i'm falling off the planet again...