[LittleMouse]

I'm having real problems coping today...feel like giving up but can't do that either. I sometimes wonder if my world will ever be the same again. I'm so sick of feeling depressed, I'm so sick of myself that I almost can't stand it anymore. I would love to wake up in the morning looking forward to a new day, instead I wake up thinking...oh no not another day to have to deal with. Does it ever get any better? I've been struggling with depression for almost four years now and though I guess you would say I'm "functional", I am not happy. I don't even know what happiness is anymore and i feel so alone and feel like giving up.

[spal]

Sorry you're feeling so bad. I was feeling the same way yesterday. It's okay to just chill out and just be good to yourself.

I have struggled with depression for over ten years and it's only lately with the help of medication that I feel like I can cope well. For once I don't wake up dreading each day and feeling anxious about whether I'll be able to make it through or not. But I still get down every once in a while and think that I'm back at the pit. It's only temporary, I tell myself and it is. But it's hard in the moment to believe it. Medication does help. I've fought against it my whole life but finally decided that I wanted a better quality of life than the one I had. I just couldn't take being consistently miserable for another second. Luckily, I found something that works.

You're not alone and you're not a freak! Don't give up. There is support and help out there. Yes, it is frustrating to battle against this disorder. People that don't have it don't know but it is possible to manage it.

Every time I feel down I go to the library and get some books on depression and read for a bit -- it reminds me that I'm not alone and it's great to be in an air conditioned environment! Also, libraries are peaceful wonderful places. You see people from all walks of life, families, students, people alone, all engaged in reading and working quietly. Libraries are active, respectful and calming places where people can meet and do their own thing together. Libraries are free and totally democratic and I'm always happy that they exist. It certainly is reassuring and a far cry from the really "cool" social scene that we depressives feel that we have to be part of to be part of the "normal" world.

[LittleMouse]

Thank you Spal I was hoping someone would answer my post as I was feeling really in need of come type of contact today. I love to read and it is actually one of the few times that I can get some comfort from my depression. Seems like when I'm reading a good book I don't feel the pain as much. I love books! I'm trying to accept the fact that I will probably always have to struggle with depression and I so much want to experience some feelings of happiness but it seems like its hard to come by. At times I am so filled with dread about my future...scare of what I might do.

I know where you are, wish I could help. Know I'm there.....

[meander]

(((((Mouse))))))))

Sorry you're low, sending good thoughts your way...

((((Littlemouse))))

I hear you and I am listening. You are not alone and there is alot of people who care very much for you. I am sorry you are in this place and I understand. I am still standing here with you in this time. Please keep reaching out. It helps to write it and let it go. Love you mouse.

purplesecrets