[Melmo]

Can anyone here relate to feeling extreme irritability and anger all the time? Most of the time I feel like a *****, it feels like that time of the month every single day. I'm not on any meds right now, I went off them in September 2014 when I found out I was pregnant but I was on Celexa and Lamotrigine for anxiety and depression. I thought up until now I was fine but I didn't realize that my irritability and anger could be symptoms of the depression or anxiety. I definitely still feel anxiety but I thought I could deal with it without taking meds but I'm not so sure of that anymore. I can't deal with feeling this overwhelmed all the time and I feel like I have an anger issue and it makes me feel guilty and depressed. I just broke down this morning after I came home from bringing my oldest to school, I put my 9 month old in her playpen with some cartoons and just cried. I have to go back to work in May, and I dont know how I am going to adjust to being a single mom of two by myself. I dont have a daycare for them yet (I am on wait lists) I dont want to go back to my job because I hate it but dont have any other ideas. I am just so completely overwhelmed.

[Fizzyo]

Sorry I have nothing to say, I really feel for you.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Melmo: Well... my circumstances are entirely different from yours. But I do also struggle with allot of generalized anger & irritability. I'm also no longer on med's. Most recently I was on the generic equivalent of Cymbalta. It was the best antidepressant I've taken, for me. But I changed health insurers & the out-of-pocket cost skyrocketed. So I went off of the med. All-in-all I'm glad I did. But I do think that, since then, my anger & irritability have been worse. I wish I had some concrete suggestions for you, but I don't. Personally, I practice walking meditation along with other self-help techniques I have learned from reading the books of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. It keeps me going...

[Fuzzybear]

[Evaluna]

I am incredibly bad with anger issues. Not with my friends but when I'm at work and people seem to think they can speak to me like I'm something they just stepped in its like a red mist descends. I struggle a lot to deal with very rude people.

Some days being at work is good. It makes me have to speak to people and the girls I work with are wonderful. Sometimes by the end of the day I'm glad I didn't call in sick. But adult conversation about silly things is sometimes enough to make me stop thinking about my feelings for a while.

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[arich62]

My heart really goes out to you Melmo. Yes I have dealt with chronic irritability and anger. I had a problem for a long time of breaking inanimate objects. I started to take Celexa and Abilify and that helped. Church has helped some. Lately has been a challenge for me, in going through a long period of discontent. I don't live at home in my hometown now so I don't want to damage other's property, or get kicked out of the house
plus have my cats around, I don't want to scare them. I found in my years of raging it didn't get anything solved, I mean throwing things. It is extremely vital to vent however, to get angry, so anger doesn't turn inwards
The best way in dealing with that I think is to write in a journal expressing yourself to yourself, not being afraid to get your deepest, darkest thoughts out, kind of like carrying on a conversation with yourself. I try to do that when I have the time,.the space and the internet to do that. Sometimes good to vent in here too but any online discussion list runs the risk of cross talk which can make a person angrier that no one's listening. Something you'll want to tread lightly with. I was reading Anger Management for Dummies which had some good advice about the journaling of thoughts.

[elevatedsoul]

well...
i go through a lot of emotions... anger is one of them... just have anger about the way things are.... the way i am... would just like things to be better.... that anger....

i was on alot of drugs at one point... and it numbed me.... i honestly couldnt think straight... and maybe i like that - maybe its a good thing... but i really dont like taking those pills... would just like to fix the reason i feel like this...

i know a lot of people may not like this comment and i may be blocked by the admins or edited... but marijuana helps me greatly.... its something i can look forward to.. it relieves a lot of symptmoms... and it doesnt make me feel like a complete zombie....
is something i think they should look at in the medical field a lot more... and i would gladly volunteer ... because i know it helps me.... and through all of the years i have smoked .... i have really tried to over dose on it - but its just not possible... so it just cant be but so bad... if it helps so much - for me atleast...

Yeah, I have had anger management issues. I broke my knuckle punching a mirror. Broke my toe while kicking a chair. Hiding your emotions is corrosive. You need expression. Does anyone feel the need to leave when people are happy?

[elevatedsoul]

sometimes i have to leave if someone is too happy...
i love nothing more than to make people happy - but when someone is so happpy and seem not to have a reason... i guess i just get jealous...

but anger is a strong emotion...
i used to be so rageful - but alot of my anger turned into more depression after some years... just gets to the point where you think what is the point of any of it... dont have the energy to be angry anymore...
just gotta make it stop... some how gotta break it....

you can keep going.... you must keep going....
there is no one else on the earth that is like you.... you are special...
you must try to see how special you are.... not because you can program a computer to walk around the room.. not becauyse you can build a space ship to go to mars... not because you can clone humans.... but because you have something no one on else on earth has... and is your soul.... you are unique... you can affect many people in many ways.... just have to hold on.... try to find strength in youself whery you didnot think it was....

i try every day.... its hard every day....
but i have to just tell myself no one on this planet is like me....
no one else can look at someone the way i can, no one else can think of something stupid or quirky to say like i can....
ya understand...?
we hurt.... but maybe they need us to hurt.... so we can help them have good life....

[dexter]

Originally Posted by alfacristofori

Yeah, I have had anger management issues. I broke my knuckle punching a mirror. Broke my toe while kicking a chair. Hiding your emotions is corrosive. You need expression. Does anyone feel the need to leave when people are happy?

When I'm suffering a bad bout of depression yes I become very withdrawn, angry, upset, and sometimes suicidal when I'm with a group of happy, laughing, joking people. I did not go to our company Christmas party because of this and missed two informal get togethers for the same reason, which only makes things worse for me as I isolate myself more.

What some of my coworkers don't understand is that if I were to go to these events, I wouldn't be a "droopy dog" I'd naturally put on a mask and laugh along with them and then when I got home alone I would be completely crushed, drained, and miserable for days afterward. I have to stay away from those events to protect myself.

I know that causes other problems for me when I isolate myself so I'm working on trying to get myself back to being able to at least tolerate by trying to participate in small doses at work. I know there is a part of me that used to enjoy interacting with my coworkers, I'm hoping that I might be able to find that part of myself and draw it out.

[dexter]

Melmo good luck. Hope you are able to find a balance and relief again. I can only imagine that having a child adds so much more emotion and considerations to the mix but yes even I find that anxiety and anger comes along with my depression. Have you talked to your doctor about restarting some of your meds?

[dexter]

Ironically today was a disaster in this regard. I've been feeling a little better and doing a little better last Friday and yesterday at work and today I went in with a good attitude.

A company meeting set me off. The boss announced the results of a little contest we'd been having where everyone brought in a sample of their hobby and then everyone had to guess which hobby belonged to who. I DID NOT participate in this for the same reason I could not participate in the company Christmas party. It caused me pain every time I walked past the table holding all of the hobbies but eventually I forgot about it.

Until today when it came up in the company meeting. Winners announced. Everyone laughing. I was just jealous of everyone and wanted to get back to work. I left the meeting shaking and upset.

And then I spent the rest of the day A MESS. Angry and yelling loudly at every job I worked on and complaining loudly about our customers. I stayed late at my desk cursing loudly about the job I was working on.

****ing horrible day. I thought of this thread all day. Glad you are all here so I can vent.