confessions of little turtle

I know what you mean little turtle

I caused my family a lot of suffering.....I was really a sick guy...I was having a terrible breakdown...I wanted to die....I didn't choose to be sick..i didn't do anything here on purpose...it just happened...I feel sorry for the family but I COULDNT HELP IT...I left my practice because I couldn't help my patients anymore...what an awful thing this depression is....I hope they come up with some better treatments...soon

I didn't choose to be sick either, where did that idea come from, that we "choose" this.. omg it's "insane"

I hope they come up with some better treatments soon as well (including better words.. words from a place of love )

None of us are perfect but why can't the doctors out there (irl) be more careful with their words

(((((((( little turtle )))))))))

I think psychiatry is sick...it is interested in FAST MOODS

Hi little turtle.

Reference the stigma that is attached to our MENTAL HEALTH SICKNESS! Why are people so dam IGNORANT! or are they just SCARED of not knowing what we GOOD PEOPLE go through day in and day out (Fighting, crying and hurting so bad inside) My loving brother has distanted himself away from me now (Probably thinks` I am a nutter!) "MAYBE HE S` RIGHT IN A WAY"!! He said to me "That he is only a phone-call away, if i needed funds`" (Money)!! What the F*** IS THAT ALL ABOUT???? Would I do that to him `NO` Would I abandon him `NO` Would I help him unconditionally `YES` `YES` `YES` He is my blood!! My other brother died 4yrs ago, so now I am on my own now!! (I get by `BUT` for how long `WELL` Who knows`) `I wish there was a switch for me, so as to flick my life off, as you do the light switch in our homes`!! `And never to come back on`!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR

It is the likes` of you and others` on this forum that keep the likes` of me from jacking it all in!! "So you being on this forum is helping ME"

Take care my friend..............

Thank you for being here little turtle

thank you campervanman and fuzzy for your support...I need it....we need something better...I am sad and mad....

I'm sad and mad too grrrrr....

Also I hadn't realised how few benzos I have left grrrr

I do not like talking to an irl doctor for one minute

Do you think they don't like fuzzy bears?

fuzzy I don't trust anyone

I wonder sometimes whether I should have had kids...there are some bad genes in my family...

I think a lot of people think we chose to have mental illness...or we always make a choice when we go to kill ourselves....I did not choose to have my mental illness...I went out of control with my first panic attack...

I am a loser....that is where I plan to stay...it is too stressful trying to make a case for anything more...it makes me sad but it is true....

You are not a loser , especially when our president thinks he is a winner when in fact he is the biggest loser to ever hold the office , you are a physician that says a lot about a person .

I have been a loser....maybe I don't need to be a loser during this year 2017...
mental illness is so hard to work around....there is so much stigma...but I have so much self-stigma....I have very low self-esteem....I just cant get around it or over it...it is like ptsd....seems impossible to me right now...maybe a new drug would help me...maybe a new drug is the last thing I need...maybe I need to face reality...that life is not the way I want it....and some things do not change....some things in the usa are horrible....so are they getting better...I don't think so...I see the usa declining...it is very sad to see...how the people and their government are losers right now...I hope it changes...I see the usa like a sinking ship...and I am on it...

I am very angry at all those persons that have hurt us because THEY had big problems...we didn't have the problems...they caused us to suffer....they were screwed up

I've been hurt by so many people.. my trust is "broken" I'm angry and scared ...

yes fuzzy.....I am afraid that my wife will leave me..i have hurt her...she has hurt me...but I will not bow done to anyone unless a gun is to my head..

interesting...I may be talking about all the things I didn't do....my expectations..now that I am 85 yo I am getting closer to death and in decline....i am losing my life

I just had an idea .....I just want to be the real me...I want to be me whether I am loved or not...I don't want to be loved for something I am not...authentic thing...yes...I will work on this....part of me is having a mental illness...I need to embrace that no matter what...

I have a mental illness....and I am standing up with every single person with a mental illness no matter what kind...I want to guard all our backs...

((((((( little turtle )))))))

((((((( all authentic selves here )))))))

Stigma, taboos, Malignant manipulations, forced silences, may they be eliminated, slice by slice

i may be a screwed up depressed doctor.....but.....there are a lot of people out there that are not telling the truth about us...and they are making a lot of money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

imo----------------there is a lot of bad news out there...it disturbs me..the fact that it disturbs me is not depression...the bad news makes me unhappy...but if I get carried away with the news and end up in a hole ....maybe that is a part of being depressed..idk

I am a lazy person...I was a lazy kid....that isn't why I got depressed....I broke down because I was trying to do too much...I actually like being lazy...I look at a lot of people that are very unhappy working their butts off...I want to be happy with myself even tho I have a mental illness...I am not even sure what that term means anymore...

the other problem I had----I just was not good enough in my relationships with girls...I lost all three of the girls that I really loved...I do not know why about 2 of them....

so i had a problem with psychiatry and girls...I think I like being lazy...
cause of my depression----I do not know...

too much $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$money is being made off of our suffering....and most of it isn't helping us....what is going on here...