confessions of little turtle

Are you trying to quit Valium, Little Turtle? I am afraid I have no experience in that regard because if I had any withdrawal it was hidden while I laid there in the hospital on morphine and all the rest of it.

M153---I used valium for many years....it was very helpful for me...and I never took more than was prescribed....it was hard going off but I did it...now I just use it very little....it still works good....so many people are against using the benzos....they talk about addiction....of course they are addictive...but they were very very helpful for me at work...I just don't understand why they aren't used more as prescribed....there is a difference between use and abuse..
I am very glad that the benzos are available for our help...

sounds like you had a very tough time there...

$300,000 is pocket change these days I was the 3+ million dollar baby, spent 6 months in ICU , when I had a paradoxical reaction to an SSRI, after having an allergic reaction to everything they tried tricyclic and every other thing they gave me until they went a bridge too far and I went thru Cascade MOF , every form of life support known to man and alot of fancy doctoring , but oops they forgot to dope me up and I got PTSD from the ICU , I do have one friend who beat my bill by almost $2 million but it was a much less harrowing experience many years after mine so adjusted for inflation his bill was actually less than mine , but I am not Trump I can celebrate my loses and still sleep at night , I am not a monster but I am a boomer and we are outnumbered by millennial's those are the greatest segment of voters currently and the ones he has to try and get , the hill is not my favorite but she won't disassemble Medicare and Obama care and turn it private , as it is Obama care has allowed hospitals to weasel out on any requirement for charity care if it ain't life threatening , you don't matter , since everyone Is "supposed to be covered" they can refuse to treat anything that will not cause death and bill you for every dollar , the one great failure of the most promising social legislation since the 8 pillars established by FDR'S administration that pulled this country out of the ( the great depression, no depression, is "great" depression but that's a whole different conversation ).
Respect to my friend little turtle, we think you are awesome and wield that shell like Jefferson on the founding documents , your pen Is mighty and your words are starting people to wake up and defend against our common enemy, keep inspiring the huddled masses! YOU are home, YOU are loved, this is your safety net after a job well done , hindsight is only 20/20 because we know the outcome, everything else is a mystery ! .

Yeah I am a lousy motivational speaker aren't I.

This is why my T will not refer me to pdoc to get meds. He thinks meds numb emotions, and that it's important to feel in order to heal. I was mad at him at first, but as I'm learning more about emotions, building a tolerance for feeling them, and getting better, I think he may be a little right.

The VA mental health clinic I went to is an afront to medical care. I had a counselor that actually screamed at me because I didn't agree with something she said.

Many people assume they can not handle their emotions and turn to medication which becomes a crutch that cripples you, we all can handle them if we empower ourselves to , big pharma wants people to doubt themselves, it's good for business they make money and you get robbed of financial and emotional strength, people also develope a false belief that the psychiatrist wants to help them ,when he/she is profiting from your dependence on them and the pills they prescribe to provide a comfortable life for them , if that does not scream conflict of intrest nothing does, stick with your therapist they sound like the good guy/gal that will actually help you becoming all you can be including emotionaly well and balanced , there are good psychiatrists out there but the system drags them down and patients don't believe they are helping unless they are slinging pills.
Be pure , be strong , be confident that whatever is bothering you can be resolved without a reliance on chemicals.

when I stopped seeing patients....I think people were thinking it was some kind of choice...I think they were blaming me....I chose not to see my patients because I couldn't do it...I couldn't do it....I couldn't do it....people thought I didn't want to....no..no...I wanted to....I couldn't...it was a breakdown...I could drive a truck but I couldn't see my patients....

I didn't choose to breakdown...I was mentally ill...I think that's what it was...but my family did not understand...I didn't understand....what an awful guilt trip....I cried and cried and wanted to die...

Hearing the troubles of all your patients over a long period of time must be stressful sometimes. And we sometimes slip into our depressions so slowly, stay there for such a long time--that we have forgotten what it is like to feel happy and alive. When I read you posts, it sounds like you are still fighting it. Does your family understand a little better now?

thanks mysterious153.....I don't understand....mental illness to me is a mystery...I am supposed to know but I don't....but I don't like feeling guilty..

Guilt trip my family did that to me, they didn't know how much pain I was in - I wanted to die but they didn't believe me

I wanted a truck to run me over, I had to cycle along a very dangerous road, lots of trucks

Little turtle, you're such a good and intelligent person, keep sharing here, keep growling

thanks fuzzybear-----------I think my biggest problem is-------------I don't understand me and my s---...I really don't know me and I am not able to forgive myself....

my family will never get it until they fall mentally ill...then at least you know there are things you cant do...

i couldn't help it...please forgive me

((((((((((( little turtle )))))))))))

I am scared.........

I'm here (do you want to say more?)

thanks fuzzy...I just like that you are there...that is really something

I totally lack confidence in expressing myself...

((((((( little turtle )))))))

What would you say to me if I said what you've just said?

Why? You're really wise on here and can really grab someone's attention when they're losing their barrings (like I was yesterday).

I agree! You've helped me many times little turtle

It's your own stuff you're talking about right? (Re lack of confidence in expressing that..)It's hard to talk about that

I couldn't say

I don't know why....I feel like a nobody...I am afraid that people will make fun of me and shame me...

I just hate life...

If anyone did, which they wouldn't here, that would be about them, right ..

I have my fangs for such "offenders" and you have your shell I suppose