confessions of little turtle

I never asked anybody for help when I was totally down and out....
please help me.....that wasn't in my mind..i was very frightened...

Little Turtle:

Thank you for your military service!
Thank you for your life's work!
Thank you for your opinion and personal transparency!

I found your thread yesterday, and finished reading it today. (Although depression is a large and daunting part of my illness, I mostly must avoid this forum & that of Anxiety because of triggers.)

We've watched as you opened up to reveal deeply entrenched pain and were heartsick with you. Those confidences prompted others to follow suit in sharing their innermost pain.

We heard from other mental health professionals admitting to having their own issues who must weather the storm of judgment rained down upon them by others in their profession. I would rather be treated by them than anyone else in the world--regardless of status or reputation. I know that no one understands without having been there. I know that because before my psychotic break and subsequent panic attacks, though I had all the compassion in the world, I did NOT. HAVE. A. CLUE.

********************************************************
~My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

~At the end of the day, Life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?"

dear skitsdoubt---maybe together we can make a better world

Have you spoken to anybody about it??? Somebody close to you... your family or friends ??

thank you so much we are art......it is very hard for me to speak with my wife... I am afraid that she will hurt me...I am very afraid of being left alone...I don't trust others.....some persons can handle it but most people have no idea how we have suffered...they don't want to know how bad things can get...but I survived...I am here....

do you want to say anything about your life....mine has been good and bad....my idea about life is that it is pretty hard and dying is not good...I dont want to die now....

i was taught and i believed that psych drugs could and would really finally be dealing with the cause of my depression....i would not have to do anything else...the drugs would do it.

so that's what my treatment was when i broke down.....but i really did not deal with all the things that really caused my depression...i was in way over my head...the drugs
helped calming the inner tension but i had no sex drive...the drugs did absolutely nothing about my life problems....i just kept on doing the same things as before....i was scared to talk about my real problems....

Nothing makes me feel worse than being in the middle of a situation and being to afraid to speak what I am thinking. It can even haunt you the rest of your life. You are right. It is because we are fearful of harm (if we don't go along but later wonder what they were really thinking) or just think no one could accept our true selves. When we are depressed, we are afraid to take chances.

If we speak our deepest feelings and our spouse does not listen or tells us to stop talking (most of the time--we all have bad days) -- they are making us more depressed. Since you are unlikely to divorce--don't give up--try to talk to her. Sometimes saying what is on my mind gives me panic attacks but once uncomfortable things are said you might feel closer to your wife. She cannot tell you how to feel about anything--past, present or future. We all have a different take on life and that is what makes us unique. Sometimes we can't speak openly about all our POVs in every situation but if our spouse has hurt us in some way, we need to talk about it (though I know it's hard).

What kind of damage would psych medications cause?

I'm on Lexapro and Wellbutrin

thanks so much hopingtrying....I am working on it..

everybody is different...my problem right now is trying to get off my celexa..
I just am having a lot of trouble with increased feelings of sadness and anger....

Do you have any advice for a 21 year old?

(Also, I tolerate the medications well)

first I need some advice for an 85 year old...

what kind of advice do you want nikoles

With sadness and anger?
I'm trying to think of how I manage mine.
Thinking more positive, not dwelling on negative thoughts, face your fears...
Life is not over keep on living it to the fullest

Find out what triggers. This may be weird but when someone mentions Alzheimer's I will think of my dad and he passed away 4 years ago from it. He didn't treat his diabetes serious and it messed with his mind where he ended up with dementia.
But I will keep myself from thinking too much of it and thinking about something else or distract myself.

Everything is easier said than done in the beginning

What would you advise a 21 year regarding health and life in general would you give?

wow thanks...what a question.....for starters...omg....try hard to be your real self and go with caring and kindness and LOVE...AND KEEP QUESTIONING

You at 85 seem more youthful than my dad at 67 to be honest.
What kind of healthy habits should I take to help to be healthy whenever I'm older?

If you can give your 21 year old self advice now what would it be?

be my real self and be kind to others..i am still working on it nikoles

If I could go back and give myself advice, I would tell myself to take my studies seriously where I could have graduated (maybe) first in class or at least top 10 and never dropped out of college. I want to go back. I was going through a rough time and just left. I wish I could afford it.

nikoles---are you going back to school

You're seem not OK right now. Willing to tell?

i am very tired...i am angry...i am sad ...and afraid of death

I plan on going back.
Maybe after my boyfriend finishes welding school, so we can have extra income so I can use my money towards college.

I feel like a total failure....

probably tomorrow I will feel different

I am very skeptical of doctors and their drugs....