[jacq10]

So i sat down at my journal and really tried to write out what i was feeling. Lets just say i failed miserably and this is pretty much the moral of what i wrote: I miss my High School (i know lameoooo), my mother figure, and my old T with all of my heart. I can't get over it, and I long to be there every waking (and sleeping) moment of my life.



How sad and pathetic am I? Seriously though, it's been over a year since i was there, and nearly a year since i've seen either of them. How on earth do i get over this? SHonestly, i have no sweet clue and i dont know how much longer i can keep telling myself that "time will heal" because personally, i think that its BS (at least in my case).

Why does it have to hurt this much? Why does my heart ache constantly? Why do i have to be so dependant on their love when i have love right in front of me? Please help me ...

[sabby]

(((((((((((((jacq10)))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling like this right now. Greiving over the end of something, the loss of something or someone is such an individual thing. There is no time limit on it. But if you allow the grief to overtake your normal living routine without trying to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back into the game, then it can take longer to go through it.

Maybe there is some unfinished business you need to attend to regarding this? Some goodbyes you need to make that weren't made before maybe? I don't know, I'm just grasping at straws here.

But I do know that if you try to get back into the swing of things, sometimes the mere point of finding a rhythem for yourself can help you to move on and feel better. I know it's not always easy. I do understand that.

I wish you well and send your strength!

Hugssss
J

jacq, I don't think your pathetic. Your feelings are your feelings and missing someone is a way to stay connected. Its a compliment to what you had together. Perhaps you need to stand back and be a witness to your feelings, rather than a critic??

Take care

[jacq10]

I think i am letting the greif overtake me ... and i tried to find "closure" by expressing how ive felt to these people, but when they replied it only made me want to keep in touch even more ...

thanks for the replies though guys .... I know there is no answer to what i was asking ... i just don tknow how to move on. It hurts my heart so much.

((((((((((((((((((sabau & mous)))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Jacq))))))))))))))))

First, I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. I've been kinda avoiding this section because I'm still not in the best of spots. I apologize because you're my friend and I care about you.

You are not pathetic, sad or lame. Not in any way, shape or form. You are grieving for people who were comforting and accepting of you and that you loved. That is normal, it really is. It hurts because the pain never seems to go away, and I know I'm not fond of the phrase "time heals all wounds" either, but let me phrase it like this - your wounds, and this hurt you're feeling - they may always be there, but it will get less painful every day. You may have bad days where all you remember is the people you've lost, the comfort and acceptance and familiarity of these people and of your highschool - but you're going to gain other people who won't make you feel the same way, but that will make you happy in an entirely different way. I can guarantee it. You say you're dependent on the love of these people who are no longer in your life - same here, same here. When people leave our lives suddenly or abruptly, we don't usually get any closure and it hurts like hell.

I know I'm not saying anything you probably don't know or that I haven't said already before but I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

If there is ever anything I can do, let me know. I love and care about you a whole bunch.

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))

Thank you hun ...
xo

[whitt]

I still miss those I knew in the past. Theres been no closure for me yet, but I always leave abruptly. Still picking up the pieces, of what broke, but the hole they leave after gone, has yet to be filled. Maybe one day, find others, find realization, to fill the gaps they once secured? Maybe you can yet keep in touch with them? Or is contact impossible over such time and distance?

Hope you get to feeling better.
(((((( Jacq10 ))))))