Daily Check In, ups and downs #18

I hope everyone here is feeling better now. I slept another 5 hours and I'm still hoping to sleep until dawn tonight. There are just times when I need to hide under my blanket all day.

bored out of my mind & burning up. i need something to do. i can't go to bed this early, i'll never sleep.

Do you have a fever? Drink plenty of fluids!

sorry, didn't get to this... no, i didn't have a fever, it's just very hot here. i do drink plenty of water though. thanks!

Oh! Haha, (wonders if there's a "face palm" emoji for me)! I'm glad you're drinking lots of water.

i'm sitting here singing.

just watched charlie and the chocolate factory- and now i have the music stuck in my head.

it is such a feel good movie

Not as depressed today, thank goodness.... I wonder maybe if boredom plays a hand in my depression, though, or if perhaps depression makes me more susceptible to boredom. This time yesterday I was bored out of my skull, and it lasted all the way through until I went to bed last night. I'm not as bored today.

TV hasn't been any good the past few nights. At least Monday it was kind of interesting but Tuesday and Wednesday there were only Westerns on, and I lost either Tues or Wed. Lost one of the days!

Hopefully I'll get into the movies that are on tonight. If my time isn't structured somehow I get randomly depressed. I use movies a lot just to file away chunks of time in my mind.

Has anyone heard from Will? He hasn't posted here in a few days. I hope he's OK.

I feel like I saw him post somewhere today or yesterday? I have been reading some older threads lately though, so I could be completely wrong.

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Yes, thanks, I saw he had posted in a different thread or threads, but it seems they're only from up to Tuesday? I don't know. It's just not like him to stay away from this thread, but I guess everyone changes things up at times. I read everyday (multiple times) but don't always post.

They could be that old, I have trouble keeping track of time so it feels more recent to me.

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A me-too on keeping track of time. It's only been the past few months since I've started feeling that the days don't match my inner clock. I guess yesterday was the day I missed because I slept all through it. :/

I was gonna make a drunken thread...thought better of it and posted here instead. I wish I hadn't got drunk but it happened. It's been a while, and I had done pretty well, but a number of things led to this today... guess I have to try and move on from this before it becomes a massive habit again..

Hey, Halloween Skye, I've been having cigarette cravings lately even though I love vaping and I'm doing really well with that. I had a cigarette several weeks ago, and I enjoyed it even though the taste was appallingly bad lol. But each time I fall off the wagon there's usually something bad I'm going through. So don't judge yourself for having a drink. Think of all this time you went not drinking! That's something you can be proud of.

Yeah it's hard, honestly I think it's the meds that have reduced the cravings. But me being me stopped them..

I know I need to start again but struggling to sort that out...

Once you're sober you can set another quit date or just stay on the same one you have had since before the drink? If you can accept that now-and-then you might have a drink, even if you don't have one, then it won't feel as catastrophic if you do.

I want to hurt myself (not due to depression) but the fact that I want to hurt myself is making me depressed.

Hopefully your provider can help with getting back on your meds. Do you still have a pdoc?

Watching a movie from 1957 featuring Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis. I think they fell in love right about then. So romantic.

Yeah I do. It's not easy to get in to see them though... I was meant to see someone yesterday who could have advised me on what I should do but she cancelled at the last minute. I don't think it will be a problem starting up again, it's only been a week off them. But I just need a push to get me to do it. I don't know why I do this over and over again. I just can't seem to help myself.

I hope you'll be fine. At least it's only one med?

Still not bad today, just got a little bored earlier and mood seemed to falter.

Dropped my Gabapentin meds a couple of days ago. My weight was starting to drift up so back to sleeping 5 hours a night most of the time. Have really always been like that anyways! Plus, I've never been able to give up coffee. Oh well.

No headache today!