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#1
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I have been feeling like that for a good while. It just seems like the days just go on and I just muddle along. I realize that things can be worse and I'm thankful for what I have going for me. The scary part is that the good things that i have going for me now could be swept away from me.
As the days go by for me, there are plenty of mediocre days and I'm thankful for it. But it's not exciting. And then there are times when it's just one thing going wrong after another. It seems like for me that there are more of those kind of days than a time when I'm on a streak of good things going. Does anyone else feel the same way? Does it feel like you are finished? That good times are all behind you, and that there will be no more good times? I had good times and bad times in my younger years. It seems like the good times I had in the past were more euphoric than any good time I would have now. I guess in my life, I got my dues coming to me. Had some great times in the past, but there shall be no more. |
![]() Anonymous37914, Fuzzybear, OctobersBlackRose, Onward2wards, PsychohcysP, Sula B, Yours_Truly
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#2
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![]() Anonymous41141
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#3
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![]() There WILL be good times and you just have to allow yourself to recognise them when they arrive. I'll take mediocre and boring days whenever I can get them - sometimes in their own context, they ARE the good times -like yeah I got through an entire day without some crap happening to me. But yes there are times when I feel like you, that "there shall be no more" but then something happens and I smile or chuckle or straight out LOL and THAT moment is worth it. You just have to hang on to hope even in the darkest hour just push through and hang on. Also, I highly recommend having a pet as they can be the source of greatest amusement, unwavering admiration and loyalty and unconditional love. Jack Russells Foxies and Pugs are particularly good at this ![]()
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Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them at least don't hurt them. ... Dalai Lama ![]() |
#4
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i feel that in part, things will never get better in terms of life experiences (my life experience has always sucked, it probably always will), but like was said.. their are fun happy moments- okay, i admit in my life probably not many, but they do exist
i've also been at the end of the rope.. i've attempted on my life- i've been on the ward, i've struggled to cope.. but who hasn't life is weird and you never know how you're going to feel about stuff |
![]() Anonymous41141, Anonymous48850, Yours_Truly
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#5
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i also want to post a little bit of a rant... and that being, "life is what you make it" is a load of crap
if life was what you made it, then i wouldn't ask for all these disorders.. but you know, their we go- it just proves my point. i never asked a psych doctor to tell me i had this this and this wrong with me, they just said |
![]() Anonymous48850, Yours_Truly
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![]() kecanoe
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#6
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I think what well meaning people who say "Life is what you make it" mean is, that once you get past all the fears and discouragement and whatnot we all deal with, then we can potentially make better things (with effort). Of course, some people probably don't mean so well when they say that, and I defend myself from that nowadays by silently thinking "I'd like to tell you to shut up and hand you a book on Psychology 101, but I think I'll just avoid the drama for now. Kthxbye."
![]() And yes, I have struggled lately with fears that things won't get better - up to and including feelings of crushing despair and nightmares. It's so draining. I have to keep telling myself not to feed into my own fears. |
![]() Anonymous41141
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#7
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"Life is what you make it" is not true, coz everything is not in our hands like our environment and the people who make up this environment. Somebody here said on the radio that the key to your happiness lies in your own hands. I think that's crap too, for the same reason. Like you, I, too, am fearful that things wont get better - it can only get worse. People have lost the humanity touch nowadays and dont care what happens to others as long as they are happy and unperturbed.
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![]() Yours_Truly
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#8
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![]() Anonymous41141, kecanoe, Onward2wards, Yours_Truly
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#9
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I don't think things are going to get better for me. This is just where my life will be. I am not happy. I am very paranoid, and very depressed. I make it through work and that is about all. I count down the hours until I get back into my bed where I belong. I wish I could go back to my happy days and skip the ones that made me this way and life would be good.
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![]() Anonymous41141, Yours_Truly
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#10
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All of the above.
If life is what you make of it then I am responsible for bringing down a world of hurt upon myself and am responsible for the despicable actions of other people over a period of almost 5 decades. For people with long term depression its more a case of just trying to enjoy those small moments that present themselves, as best you can, just to help get you through. My life is not fun and like QueenCopper I pretty much get through the work day and go to bed but from time to time I can and do smile and I know the things and people who are associated with those moments and so when I can I pursue their time and company. Its about trying hard to crawl out of that black hole.
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Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them at least don't hurt them. ... Dalai Lama ![]() |
![]() Anonymous32451, Anonymous41141, Yours_Truly
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#11
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A couple months ago I found a box of old journals. I have been writing since I was 17, as per the suggestion of a counselor. Leafing through them I realized that I have been battling this for almost eleven years. I started to panic. If it's really been that long, what's to say it will ever go away? Will I be 37 and still fighting this?
It wasn't the first time I felt like I would never get better. That's been a feeling I've had off and on for a long time. But to get hit with that realization of the actual length of time I've been battling this. It was a whole new wave to that feeling. And with that came all those typical worries. 'Will I be doing this for the rest of my life?' 'Can I really keep going like this?' 'Will I never crawl out?' etc etc.
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New Diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder, because they can't make up their minds. |
![]() kecanoe, Yours_Truly
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#12
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Thank you all for your nice replies to me. I have been feeling very touched and learning a little bit more from the replies.
I really liked the point that was brought up about "life is what you make it" or "life is in your own hands". I feel like I strive to make life good for me the best I can; and so many times I come up short. It's like I pick myself up so that I can be battered back down again. Trouble and being with bad company approaches me very easily, while good things don't. |
![]() Yours_Truly
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#13
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I also feel this way because my looks are just falling apart, and I'm an old crone.
As for feeling like more bad things than good things are happening, well, we go through phases and seasons of life. Some are sweet, but most people I know have more rough times than good times. Anyway, every bad time in life does pass, just like the good. :/ ![]() |
![]() anon12516, Yours_Truly
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#14
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i've been writing journals since 2010, and like you- it's a shock to look back at the older ones (from 2010 or 2011) and find that actually, not much has changed |
![]() PenguinExMachina, Yours_Truly
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#15
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Yeah, I feel the same way, that all my good.days are behind me, sad thing is I'm only 24yrs old. But that's how I feel that all good days arennow.long gone, and I'm not just existing and things will never get better sad to say, I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel...
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() anon12516, Yours_Truly
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#16
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![]() anon12516
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#17
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Yes I feel this way. I feel like I work so hard and strive for a better tomorrow and I tell myself "Okay, just climb this mountain. You'll be fine. You can do it!" So I conquer that challenge. But instead of being able to enjoy my accomplishment, I realize I only climbed a series and there beside it is an even bigger mountain. And each time I read the precipice of the mountain, from behind the clouds gleams another taller mountain and I think to myself--- does it ever stop? Do I ever actually stop struggling? Is there ever a moment I can feel like I'm not absolutely throwing my entire being in to making it through another trial? Do people ever just stop feeling completely and utterly exhausted?
So yes, I am there now. I feel like no matter what, there's just another challenge on the horizon and that realization is crushing. I won't ever be able actually live my life and smell the roses because I am so overwhelmed just trying to make it through the day. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() adam_k, anon12516, kecanoe, OctobersBlackRose, PenguinExMachina, Yours_Truly
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#18
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Best is behind me. The paralyzing effect of depression has eaten into my brain & body. There's not much left here.
I look forward to a new chapter, a new realm.
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"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
![]() anon12516, OctobersBlackRose, Yours_Truly
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#19
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Sometimes it feels like life is only about making it through the day. You made it up the mountain. Just because there is a bigger mountain next to it doesn't belittle your strength and determination. You made it thru the day and that is an accomplishment for some of us. You can do it and you will have those moments of happiness that help heal the sorrow and despair.
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"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
#20
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![]() Yours_Truly
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#21
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I told my T early on in my sessions with her that I feel like I've outlived my usefulness, and that I could not imagine any scenario where my life will get "better." That was 19 months ago, and I feel the same way now. I'm totally stuck where I am, and I have no energy to change anything. I allowed other people to manipulate and control me all of my life, and now I'm unable to disentangle from my situation.
My T tells me that I deserve to be happy, and that I am worthwhile. Well, she says lots of positive things, but I don't believe any of them. I certainly don't feel those positive things for myself. I'm trying now to figure out if and how I could ever possibly feel like my life will be worth living in 6 months from now, much less 6 years from now. Positive affirmations feel hollow to me, and bounce off like ice pellets. I read lines like, "I love and approve of myself," and laugh. When I do go out with a friend, trying to feel some level of joy or happiness, I feel empty instead. As a couple of people already stated, the best I seem to be able to do is slog through each day and keep trying to find a little sense of accomplishment in doing just that.
__________________
![]() Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
![]() anon12516, DaveyJones, Eamgr, OctobersBlackRose, Yours_Truly
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#22
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I have the same feeling as well as the feeling that good things will go.
I think it's part of having depression. I try and focus more on the good things and working hard if possible to keep them. But it is hard I known |
#23
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It seems like I just wander through life, just waiting to go to sleep so that it will stop for awhile. 😔
__________________
Peace, DJ "Maturity is nothing more than a firmer grasp of cause and effect." -Bob "and the angels, and the devils, are playin' tug-o-war with my personality" -Snakedance, The Rainmakers |
![]() speckofdust
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