Coping

I just wish i was invisible. I'm getting better in small ways, but it's too small steps, I want to be back to normal so much. I want my friendships to go back to the way they were, I want it to be more natural to be around people and more natural to be in a good mood.

How long is it going to take? How long are we going to be like this for? I'm so fed up! But i can't seem to do anything about it, I don't know what to do, I just wish I was back to normal, or wish i was invisible, or not here, one or the other. I'm not suicidal anymore, but I still wish I didn't exist.

I have more good days now, but I still get days like today, where I just want to curl up in bed and hide away. I wish my triggers didn't trigger me lol.

How do you all cope with bad days? And feelings of intense loneliness and worthlessness? Feelings of failure and that I don't deserve love or friendship?

Stars xx

If you are in therapy, ask specifically about dealing with triggers and developing coping skills. These can help you throughout life but I think are especially important during recovery.

Also stay focused on the small steps you are making. No step is too small. Yes sure we all want to be better faster but progress is a good thing. Don't let the negativity of depression cloud your thinking such that disappointment overwhelms the tremendous idea of making improvement, no matter how small that improvement is.

There are going to be down days but it also sounds like the small steps your are making are leading you with constant progression. You will get there one day, hopefully sometime soon.

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--http://www.idexter.com

(((((((((((((((Bearhugs for Stars)))))))))))))))

Take care,
Fuzzy

hugsssssssss for you. I just wanted to encourage you to keep on working on things. They do get better!!!

HI there,
(((((STARS)))))
I'm sorry that you're having a rough time; It's been awhile since we've spoken and wanted to know you've been missed. Cherish those "small steps" and take pride in them. When you posted "I just wish I was invisible" my first thought was the movie "Big Daddy" when Adam Sandler put the sunglasses on the little boy so "no one would see him" so that's always an idea I guess. HA HA
Depression is something I am certain that I will continue to struggle with for the rest of my life. However, for everyone it is different. I cope with the bad days often with music, a nice soak in the tub, or watching a funny movie. ("Laughter is the best medicine") I can't seem to make the intense feelings of loneliness go away; I usually jump into the next relationship when that happens, but I'm trying to deal with reality before I get involved again...As far as the self-esteem issues, I recognized about 9 months ago (what I believe to be) the real reasons behind why I had such low self-esteem and recognizing "why" was an amazing discovery for me. Those thoughts seldom sneak back in my mind, but when they do, I'm able to quickly chase them away.
You're an incredibly intelligent young woman, you will succeed in what you're meant to do; hang in there, and enjoy the "small steps" and remember the successes and hold on when the journey is rough.
Peace,
Jon
PS. Happy Birthday!!! Can't remember what day, but knew it was soon, or just past.

KICK THE CABLE HABIT!!! http://www.vmcsatellite.com/?aid=84152

Thank you all so much for your responses!

I have also missed speaking with you Jonalexa, thanks for your encouraging words.

It's my birthday today, I'm 21 omg! lololol!! So far I'm having a good day, which i wasn't expecting because this past week has been so hard!

Thank you Dexter for your comments. I am in therapy, and I will bring up my triggers and ask for ways of coping with them.

ozzie ur right, even healthy people have bad days, I suppose it's just the meaning we attach to that bad day once we've been depressed, or are in recovery stage.

Thanks for the hugs fuzzy and ethers thanks for the encouragement.

I hope ur all having an ok day today!!! Am thinking of you all, and sending out happy vibes, coz I'm feeling pretty ok today and have a few happy vibes to share around heehee!

Love Stars xXx

{{{stars}}}

I know how that feels. Right now my depression is in remission, I suffer from SAD in the winter/dark months so the summer brings my moods up tremendously. Just keep your head up. I know it can get really hard to deal with since I too suffer from it. Baby steps are fine, if you take too huge of a step you might get yourself too over-whelmed. It's best to take small ones.

As for the length of time, everyone is different, sadly there is no set time for depression. You either have it or you don't basically. Some people go into remission for good, some people will battle it for the rest of their lives, I might be one of them. There are treatments for depression, self hep books, postive thinking, postive self talk and so forth.

Nobody likes triggers when it comes to dealing with Depression, I haven't had a trigger for depression in awhile now, and i'm glad about that let me tell ya, cause they are horrible.

I just take it a day at a time, i'm on medication for depression as well as GAD and PTSD and it does help. The longer days are helping, therapy, longer brighter days. I do light therapy in the winter months even though I couldn't do it much this past winter because I was ultra-senstive to the lightbox and medication for that matter, it wasn't fun.

Feeling worthlessness, lonliness etc are common symptoms of depression, everyone I think who suffers from this has felt that way, i've felt that way more times then I am able to count after I was diagnosed at age 16, i'm 24 now. What you are feeling you are not alone in, we've all felt that way, or use to feel that way at some point.

Are you in therapy at all, anything treatment for depression?

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Happy birthday, Stars! I'm glad that it has been a better day.

As for how long it takes, that depends. It does take a while. One thing that is very important is realizing that it's your life and becoming empowered to do the things that matter to you. Therapy helps, but you still wind up doing the work yourself - it's just that with a guide you are more likely to know what to work on and how. I'm doing so much better, and have been for more than a year (most of the time), but I still would like to be invisible sometimes. It's hard to be patient with the baby steps, but maybe it's the fact that you are headed in the right direction that matters most.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color=orange>"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill "</font color=orange>