[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by will19

It's about the end of the day and I'm starting to feel very blue. I'm feeling guilty that I let my friend go. I'm just thinking about how sad he must feel right now. I could call him and he would welcome it. But I really don't want to. It's so hard when it's the only friend I had.

Does it benefit to be friends with someone merely because he is the only friend you have? There should be other reasons for a friendship.
What I don’t get is that why did you have to cut your ties completely? Would it be possible to maintain the friendship while keeping some boundaries?

[IcryWhoAmI]

That feeling when you're invisible even online. Feel like crap, not that anyone cares.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by will19

It's about the end of the day and I'm starting to feel very blue. I'm feeling guilty that I let my friend go. I'm just thinking about how sad he must feel right now. I could call him and he would welcome it. But I really don't want to. It's so hard when it's the only friend I had.

I'm sorry, Will. Do you think the urge you have to end the friendship might be a fear of abandonment? If you stay friends, he will likely die at some point (due to age), which is the "last word" and completely out of your control. But if you break up with him now, it's completely under your control.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

That feeling when you're invisible even online. Feel like crap, not that anyone cares.

You're not invisible. I can see you, and you're looking cool.

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Does it benefit to be friends with someone merely because he is the only friend you have? There should be other reasons for a friendship.
What I don’t get is that why did you have to cut your ties completely? Would it be possible to maintain the friendship while keeping some boundaries?

Did you read my thread about me and my friend splitting up? In case you didn't, here it is:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/depr...-up-today.html

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by will19

Did you read my thread about me and my friend splitting up? In case you didn't, here it is:


https://forums.psychcentral.com/depr...-up-today.html

No I had not read that.
After reading that, I can say with confidence that you did the correct thing by cutting off your ties.

[Rose76]

Wasted the whole day.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Wasted the whole day.

Did you at least get to rest a little?

[Rose76]

I was not in need of rest. There was nothing good about the way I spent the day.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

That feeling when you're invisible even online. Feel like crap, not that anyone cares.

You’re not invisible here.

[Rose76]

just a bad night

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Rose76

katydid's post was something I could relate to. I am a caretaker and housekeeper for a man I've loved for a long time. He used to drink heavily. I got snapped at an hour ago, and it gets demoralizing. It does seem like it's everytime I turn around. Two weeks ago, he called me an effin a--hole and a jerk.

He's a person who utterly takes for granted any blessing that comes into his life - like having me around. If our circumstances were reversed, I don't think he'ld do all this for me.

I tell myself that the next time he winds up in the hospital, I just won't take him home. His adult kids and the VA can do whatever they like with him. I'm not much valued or appreciated. I keep falling into depression. His kids think I'm foolish for keeping myself in this situation.

I am neglecting my own welfare. I just hang around this man, waiting to see what he needs next. It's a stupid way to live. After we'ld been dating for a while, many years ago, his drinking got worse and he ended up homeless. I suppose he stayed latched on to me as though I were one of those flotation devices they throw out to drowning victims. It got him off the street.

It's not like I hadn't had other offers. It's not like no one else would have me. Now I don't even care about being in a relationship. I wish my time were my own to do what I like and go where I like when I like. I think about getting a little dog for companionship. The dog would think better of me than he does.

I pretty much ruined my life. Maybe I could salvage a little if it for me.

Rose, thank you for telling all of this. I completely understand, and I think you don't do anything about it because you love this man, and at our ages it is too hard to start things over. I have several medical issues, and a couple psy issues my self, so for me I do love my husband, not my brother ( he had been one of my abusers when I was young ) but neither think about what I go through, or care. I have the Chihuahuas, but I have so many times that I just want to run away from everything.

I feel down! Am going to take it easy today and try to do a few things tomorrow.

[katydid777]

I didn't do anything for Halloween, I didn't even put up my decorations. But that was the day my husband, and brother got drunk. Yesterday my husband felt bad all day, and it serves him right. All I did was put all the laundry away that I did the day before, then I played games on the computer. I have no clue what I am going to do today other than fix dinner. I am sure I will be cleaning as usual, because no one else does anything around here to help me with all of that, nor do they care if I am having a painful, or ruff day. So this is what I deal with on a daily basis.

[nikon]

sending thoughts to everyone who is having a hard day.

I got my essay done for tomorrow, which I'm grateful for, but I have the usual weekly college work for tomorrow that I'm probably not going to get through, and am very apathetic about it. I'm house sitting from tomorrow in a place with no wifi and really not looking forward to it. i tend to get really isolated when I house sit and it has resulted in the past in getting very depressed and angry. I'm hoping to make it a good experience. still kind of feel like sleeping away the days.

been sleeping too much. apathetic about my work. it's this or dread. i'd choose this.

I did not make it to church today for the first time in a while. As of now, I can't believe how fast this morning has gone by! I had planned to go to a church and I was running ahead of schedule. So I decided to replace an inner-tube on my bike tire while I had the time. I had an inner-tube that went bad. So I replaced the inner-tube and then the patch I had on it blew. So I had no inner-tube and then I decided to go to the bike shop to get a couple, plus other errands that I didn't do yesterday. That took up my morning so that's why I couldn't make it to church this morning. Yet I feel like I didn't miss anything.

Just now I heard a "pop" sound after I had blown up the tire minutes ago. It sounded like what happened earlier this morning. Thank goodness it wasn't the tire that made that sound, it was something else. The tire, as of now, is holding up well.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone. Another day and we're still sort of just about still here.

[Deilla]

Today I feel a little down. My day is blah. I'm just dragging along. I tried playing my online game and it was just tedious. I slept late and I think I'm going take a long nap. I don't feel like doing much.

[Fuzzybear]

[Angelique67]

I feel completely non functional. Why am I too afraid to do simple things? They might not be pleasant but they'd take maybe an hour and then I'd be done.

[952p65823]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I feel completely non functional. Why am I too afraid to do simple things? They might not be pleasant but they'd take maybe an hour and then I'd be done.

I feel you. I have the money, I even know my login, so why can't I pay my electric bill?! Good grief.

doing very badly. want to throw up, i am so sad. i want to damage myself. i'm miserable, like a bad storm.

[Rose76]

I face a huge decision. I'm thinking I might have to leave my S.O. as a way of trying to help myself. This is a drastic step to take. Maybe it won't help me. Maybe I'm deluding myself blaming being with him for why I feel so bad. I have to change my circumstances. This is becoming too awful.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I face a huge decision. I'm thinking I might have to leave my S.O. as a way of trying to help myself. This is a drastic step to take. Maybe it won't help me. Maybe I'm deluding myself blaming being with him for why I feel so bad. I have to change my circumstances. This is becoming too awful.

He's verbally abusive to you, why would you put up with that? Let him go into a nursing home, and think about how you can change your life to be happier. (I'm in a nursing home currently, by the way.) You don't need the way this situation takes all your time, effort, energy, and spirit for some jerk who doesn't even have the decency to appreciate you or even just thank you. It sounds like hell.