It was kind of slow day at work today, again. For about two hours after work I was on a roll for having things go wrong. The traffic was terrible coming home. And when I got home, my friend was waiting for me. I really had preferred for him to see me on Saturday instead of today. He brought me a small gift of candy; and then .... (see my thread I made earlier).

After he left I realized to my horror that I planned to have spaghetti for dinner and had very little pasta left for it. So I had to make something else. And then I worked out. It went great until I got hurt a little bit at the end. Some kind of muscle pulled under my left shoulder blade.

After the workout I cooked dinner that I didn't plan on. I thought that it was going to be ready late, but it turned out I made good timing. And then, my two shows that I like at 7 and 7:30 were not on due to a special that I didn't care to see. Well, at least going down to the pool area after dinner worked out well. My soreness is feeling a little bit better now, but I hope that it will go away by Friday when I plan to workout again.

[WoundedGirl]

I thought today was the first day I was feeling better, stronger. Now I feel betrayed and embarrassed. I’ve got a lot of stuff to work through but I’m not going to try and talk to people who don’t have anything good to say about me. Didn’t think I could go on but everyday I’m getting stronger and I’m not looking back.

[Rose76]

I had a decent day. Got an important project started.

[D-a-n]

The pit opened beneath my feet and down I've tumbled. I'm also having angina related to anxiety.

[WishIWereAStone]

Up and down depending upon the moment or situation. Putting on the "everything is ok" face is getting tiresome. Trying to avoid human contact as much as possible today, very tough to do at work.

I’m not sure if ever mentioned this on here before. I’m at a point where I can’t cry anymore. I’m not talking about shedding a few tears. Balling out crying, a good cry. I can’t do that. I just need some type of relief.

[Rose76]

I have to get dressed and leave the house. I have to force myself.

[regretful]

Struggled through a conference today...saying to myself, over and over, that it's not as bad as I make it out to be - life, that is...Helped a bit. I wish all of you well and a moment's peace today

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone on the thread. A 12 hour workday for me. I'm just on the train home now. I switched into auto to get through, but not a positive kind of auto. More of an inner shutdown.

Survived it, though.

Really hungry now. That's a good sign for me.

[WoundedGirl]

Hope you won’t be too hard on yourself. We all have done that. Stress and the weather change can definitely cause some forgetfulness. Thinking of you.

offered to help fix something at one of my jobs. i hope i can do it. every time i do something new i get very anxious.

also, i am glad i volunteered but this is more than i can manage at this time.

[Rose76]

The day was a partial victory over inertia. I tell myself that's way better than total failure.

[FallDuskTrain]

Still feeling awful and cannot stop crying. I know it is bad when going to the gym does not help improve my mood at all.
The upside is that the new episode of my favorite tv show is starting in 90 mins.

It was not a feel good kind of day today, but I know that a day could be much worse than today for me. At one time this morning the IT guy at work got edgy with me. I got a box that had a label with no name on it. I opened up the box (I really hate doing that along with receiving a box with no name) and it was a hard drive. So I went to the IT guy just to ask him if this was his. I came to his office just at the wrong time. He was tied up on the phone and it sounded tense. He said he would look at it. I came back later and he told me that I should have called the phone number on the label. Well, I've done that before. I just wanted a quick answer, and if it wasn't for him, I would have done some more researching. If only he was not tied up like he was, then all hell would not have gotten loose.

Also I feel like I'm grieving about my friend. He has sent me some messages saying that he hopes that this is not going to end for good. He wants me to call him. I don't feel like it. But on the other hand, I'd like to tell him what he's doing wrong. But he does not take criticisms well. He's good at giving criticisms, which he does a lot, but not good at receiving it. He argues and he can be very stubborn. It's happened before. We get back together and then it's fine. But it's back to the old crap again.

[regretful]

Rough sleep...miserable morning; terrible thoughts of depression running through my mind again. It really was not where I wanted to be again. Glad to be able to share my thoughts here. Keep thinking about that old adage - like all other things, this too shall pass. Been down this road before - it does pass. It's just miserable while it's here. I wish you all at least a moment's peace today.

[regretful]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

offered to help fix something at one of my jobs. i hope i can do it. every time i do something new i get very anxious.

also, i am glad i volunteered but this is more than i can manage at this time.

It's that feeling of biting off more than you can chew, with which I'm very familiar. I'll bet you can do it, otherwise you may not have volunteered in the first place. I wish you well!

First snowfall of the season this morning. It's pretty, but the snow stuck around for a very long time this last spring, and I feel like I just got used to not having it around.

I have a feeling this is going to be a grumbly weekend. Hope I'm wrong.

[nikon]

not sure but something in this could be triggering

I'm feeling quite down this afternoon. I'm really really struggling to be around people because I just feel anxious around them, so I'm actually being quite reclusive, like staying in my room and trying to time coming out with my housemates etc being otherwise occupied. I'm working tomorrow morning and really, really don't want to. all i want to do is hide away somewhere and sleep. this afternoon i kind of feel like the only escape I'll get from my unwanted thoughts and discomfort in life is if I die. I sometimes get this feeling even when I'm not significantly depressed. it's just like.... hey, I feel like pancakes for dinner.... or how about just killing myself? then it just feels like a logical course of action with little to no emotion attached to it. just feel so tired.

[Deilla]

I'm feeling okay today. Maybe a little tired and unmotivated. I didn't sleep well last night. I have some things I have to finish up today and I just want it over.

[D-a-n]

Good: Angina has passes. I can breath and stand up straight again!

Bad: Still very anxious and depressed, and have the attention span of a gold fish. I'm finding that I'll accomplish one small task and then my brain will zoom out into the ozone layer. I'm at work, so that's not a good thing. I'm setting the timer on my computer for 5 minute intervals, to keep me on track.

[Patagonia]

Trying to stay busy with handling kids schedules alone. Keeps my brain from thinking too much.

Just wish I had something to look forward to!

[WishIWereAStone]

Originally Posted by nikon

not sure but something in this could be triggering

I sometimes get this feeling even when I'm not significantly depressed. it's just like.... hey, I feel like pancakes for dinner.... or how about just killing myself? then it just feels like a logical course of action with little to no emotion attached to it. just feel so tired.

I completely understand what you mean, I do it almost everyday.

I'm feeling fine today as like every day. I'm tired now as I have been working at my volunteering place. I quite enjoyed it.

[Rose76]

I need to get a break from a monotonous routine that is getting me down. I've suggested to my boyfriend that we go out for dinner, maybe after taking a drive. He was agreeable, but I need him to have some real interest.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone in the thread. Another day, and we're still here!