[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by katydid777

The treatment just turned out to be a shot I will have to have for the rest of my life, but by the time I got home I was starting to feel ill. I feel a bit better today, but not to my normal. I hope soon. I did manage to make it out of bed today, so I am hopeful I am on the right track. Thank you so much for asking, it means a lot.

Thinking of you, K

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by regretful

Still no decision, but I'm leaning away from following through...two blood tests at 700 each...too rich for my blood...I can attend a lot of individual therapy for that amount of money...or go on a vacation, which I sorely need.

Oh that's discouraging. That is a lot of money. Do you think you will use the money for therapy or a holiday?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone. Another day, and we're still here

I'm feeling OK, really.

[88Butterfly88]

I'm a bit depressed today. I was feeling down so I took a nap. I did feel better after the nap. I just wish I could feel okay without napping.

It was a pretty good day today, even though it was not that busy. I took a blood test early this morning. I hope that the result will be good. It was good the last time I went there three months ago.

The hot water is back and working well now. Probably better than ever. It was very nice that someone from the HOA gave me a call to tell me that it was all taken care of and working well. The HOA at where I am is not perfect, but I get the feeling that they are probably one of the best in my area.

[Albatross2008]

I'm officially "meh."

But that's up from "ugh."

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Arbie

I'm officially "meh."

But that's up from "ugh."

Arbie, I’m sorry that you’re “meh”. The way you said it was cute though. Thank you for the giggle. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm feeling Okay.

[katydid777]

I am not sure how I feel yet. I always wake up with a headache, and backache every morning, ant that is one reason why it takes me a while to get going, and why I am not a morning person. The first things I do are take some Tylenol, and wait for that to kick in. Then I go from there. I have to eat something before I take the other 7 medications I have to take, otherwise they will give me problems. In the evening I have even more meds to take, but I know they are all important. I can't take anything with serotonin because I have a very bad reaction to it, so I don't have anything for my depression. When I am having a very depressed day I try to find something to keep my mind working, and try not to think. Anyway I will check back later, and we will see how I am today.

[regretful]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Oh that's discouraging. That is a lot of money. Do you think you will use the money for therapy or a holiday?

When I have the money, I'll likely return to therapy and plan a short vacation - I haven't had one of those in years. Thank you for your concern.

[regretful]

Still in a holding pattern...trying my best to fend off the depression, with limited success. I still get up every day, after restless sleep, and go through the motions...today my wife is at home not feeling well. I'm sure that my depression is taking its toll on her, too. The one thing I'm holding on to is that this is temporary, this mood state, because I've been in and out of this before.

[Kote]

Feeling a lot of stress & anxiety from work. Things that could have been avoided had they asked me a single question. Now I have to spend my time dealing with the problem while keeping up with my normal work which has ramped up because of the holiday season. I know I'll be ok in the end but of course my mind keeps going to the worst possible scenario.

I've also thought about getting a second job but just the thought of it makes me want to curl into a ball and cry. After working 8 hours a day the last thing I want to do is work more. I just want to stay home & cuddle with my dogs.

[Patagonia]

In that mess state again. Had calm waters for a bit, checking in with my parts. Terribly hard to keep them from taking over.
Feel like a mom of an infant & keep sticking bottles in their mouths to shut the up. The bottle is Netflix sad to say. It keeps the noise level down.

I’ve decided to make a massive change; consider therapy again. It’s a bitter pill to swallow & accept. Made 3 calls, 3 rejections. Choices here are very slim.

[regretful]

Second check - in...not a whole lot better, but after reading some journal entries that I wrote during the time just after my hospital stay, I appear to be quite a bit better than I was at that time. .. A step in the right direction? Wishing you all a good moment or two over the next couple of days (as a rule, I generally don't check in on any internet things - other than Scrabble - my innocent addiction - on the weekends).

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

In that mess state again. Had calm waters for a bit, checking in with my parts. Terribly hard to keep them from taking over.
Feel like a mom of an infant & keep sticking bottles in their mouths to shut the up. The bottle is Netflix sad to say. It keeps the noise level down.

I’ve decided to make a massive change; consider therapy again. It’s a bitter pill to swallow & accept. Made 3 calls, 3 rejections. Choices here are very slim.

That is a big deal, P.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Regretful....
The idea of therapy slipped out of focus again?
I'm in no position to nag you. I don't have a therapist. I had a one-off with a practice psychologist, who wrote down the details of how I can refer myself. I lost heart with it. I carry the website address in my bag. I don't know. It discouraged me. A kind PC member had already taken it on themselves to tell me how to self-refer (thank you).

My work situation and anti depressant both improving, though (and the support of people here), means I feel less awful than I did.

I'm trying to say that I think you might need some help, dear friend.

[Rose76]

I made an appointment to see my PCP (a physician's assistant) on Tuesday. I'm not investing much hope that anything good will come out of that.

My hope is for a stimulant in the morning to help me wake up, or a sleeping pill at night, to try and regularize my sleep/wake cycle, which is becoming chaotic. I don't believe I can adequately convey to any "provider," whether pdoc or whoever, how thoroughly a chaotic sleep/wake cycle can disorganize a person's life, when it goes on and on.

I went to my healthcare system's psych facility in mid-October. They seemed uninterested. I think I deserve to be taken seriously. I wonder how to do whatever arm twisting that might take. Maybe if I just keep going back there. Maybe I will tell them that I will keep coming back, until someone listens.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Arbie, I’m sorry that you’re “meh”. The way you said it was cute though. Thank you for the giggle. I hope you feel better soon.

yeah it was cute

Originally Posted by Rose76

I made an appointment to see my PCP (a physician's assistant) on Tuesday. I'm not investing much hope that anything good will come out of that.

My hope is for a stimulant in the morning to help me wake up, or a sleeping pill at night, to try and regularize my sleep/wake cycle, which is becoming chaotic. I don't believe I can adequately convey to any "provider," whether pdoc or whoever, how thoroughly a chaotic sleep/wake cycle can disorganize a person's life, when it goes on and on.

I went to my healthcare system's psych facility in mid-October. They seemed uninterested. I think I deserve to be taken seriously. I wonder how to do whatever arm twisting that might take. Maybe if I just keep going back there. Maybe I will tell them that I will keep coming back, until someone listens.

An inadequate sleep cycle can truly disorganise a person's life more than anything. So you are thinking in the right direction.

My best wishes

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I made an appointment to see my PCP (a physician's assistant) on Tuesday. I'm not investing much hope that anything good will come out of that.

My hope is for a stimulant in the morning to help me wake up, or a sleeping pill at night, to try and regularize my sleep/wake cycle, which is becoming chaotic. I don't believe I can adequately convey to any "provider," whether pdoc or whoever, how thoroughly a chaotic sleep/wake cycle can disorganize a person's life, when it goes on and on.

I went to my healthcare system's psych facility in mid-October. They seemed uninterested. I think I deserve to be taken seriously. I wonder how to do whatever arm twisting that might take. Maybe if I just keep going back there. Maybe I will tell them that I will keep coming back, until someone listens.

Rose - it was only after I got medication for sleep and a stimulant for the morning that I started evening out. I hope you’ll persist and that it works for you as well.

[mulan]

I am to tired now, it's 3am anyway. Today/tomorrow I will travel abroad with my sister, just the two of us. I am not particularly excited and I am concerned I will be little fun to hang with and that I will get to tired to soon.
It's a small trip, but because there is much to see , very intense.
These past days my head has been in a non-thinking mode. Hope it goes away, some external stimulation normally helps... But that is also why not having someone else with us can make our conversations dull. I am not expecting to have much fun, but I wish I will.

Well, let's say I feel hurt, upset and numb. My dog had to be put down yesterday. He couldn't eat, get up and he was living in constant misery. Mum told me he wet himself and he had a look in his eyes that said "I don't want to live in this misery anymore". It wouldn't be fair to see him suffer just because of our selfish reasons. The house feels empty and it's weird not waking up to see him. I kept waking up during the night and kept having dreams about him. I had weird dreams. My voices got louder but I heard less voices when I calmed down. I'm doing my best to cope.

[sky457]

Second difficult family outing. Last week one state, this week a different state. Both grandparents are about to go. I feel alone...

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

Well, let's say I feel hurt, upset and numb. My dog had to be put down yesterday. He couldn't eat, get up and he was living in constant misery. Mum told me he wet himself and he had a look in his eyes that said "I don't want to live in this misery anymore". It wouldn't be fair to see him suffer just because of our selfish reasons. The house feels empty and it's weird not waking up to see him. I kept waking up during the night and kept having dreams about him. I had weird dreams. My voices got louder but I heard less voices when I calmed down. I'm doing my best to cope.

I am so sorry about your dog. Thinking of you.

[Rose76]

The ground beef package said "cook by 12/1." So I'm making chili. My friend is asleep in the livingroom, so I might go clean and tidy the bureau in the bedroom. I'm wide awake. Might as well use the time constructively.