Right now, things are looking up in my life, but still, because of a more negative history of how things have turned out, my mind is immediately going to the negative.... like, I automatically believe catastrophe is ahead when there are no real signs of it. And I automatically think things will fall apart and will end in ruin because that's how things have gone.

I cannot help these thoughts, but I recognize them. Generally, I am a very positive person, so this is not like me and it's throwing me off.

How do you hold onto hope that things will turn out well instead? How do you change negative thinking to the positive when most else in life has fallen apart? Relationships, career, jobs, etc??

I am used to doom and gloom, therefore, I expect it. I don't know how to change this pattern of thinking. Please help. Thank you!!!

[MickeyCheeky]

It's a good thing that you can recognize your negative thinking. I'd say, when that happen, you can try to counter-react with a positive thought; so if you find yourself thinking that things will go wrong, say that they will go well instead.

I can relate.

I usually have more trouble with this later in the day--I have noticed I stay more positive when I get enough sleep. I won't completely give up my coffee but I have switched to decaf after having my first two cups every day. This is helping. When I have a negative day I frequently go to bed earlier because usually the negative mood is gone in the morning. Did you sleep well last night?

Did you notice a trigger? What did you think or what did someone say right before the negative thoughts started today?

This morning my husband made a comment that was triggering for me. I considered ignoring it, then carefully told him I that I was hesitant to react to the message because of how the conversation went last time. He ended up saying he understood my confusion, we discussed it. His comments about this subject no longer seem like a minefield for me. A lot of our problems are communication problems--I jump to a lot of conclusions in my head because I assume he is upset about something I have done.

Mostly, I enjoy the people I work with but there can be people I don't enjoy. In a work situation, it doesn't always pay to discuss issues we find negative. It depends on whether or not the situation is likely to come up again and other factors. Sometimes there are negative people at work who can't be fixed.

Another tactic I use is try to control what I can in my life for the good--like the things I eat, how I spend my money, exercise and generally take care of myself. When I do what I know is the best for me in the long run--it gives me a positive feeling.

I hope your day turns around!!

How long have you been experiencing this? Is it linked perhaps to the coming Spring?

Negative and catastrophic thinking has always been an issue for me but it seems to heighten with the changing of seasons. I have caught myself being rather argumentative more than usual these days. Despite goodness in my life, I too brace myself for something to go wrong and destroy it. The dangerous part is that in the past I have noted this thinking leads to self-sabotaging what is going well.

This is the first thing that came to mind reading your post - is the weather affecting your outlook?

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

It's a good thing that you can recognize your negative thinking. I'd say, when that happen, you can try to counter-react with a positive thought; so if you find yourself thinking that things will go wrong, say that they will go well instead.

TY Mickey! I think the problem is that these thoughts are so automatic right now that I have to catch myself when they happen. I just have this terrible general feeling of pending doom..... I mean, I have had a LOT go wrong, so I just expect it now. Changing a negative thought to the positive helps, but the feeling of pending doom persists. I don''t know how to change that feeling, you know?

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Did you sleep well last night?

Did you notice a trigger? What did you think or what did someone say right before the negative thoughts started today?

Another tactic I use is try to control what I can in my life for the good--like the things I eat, how I spend my money, exercise and generally take care of myself. When I do what I know is the best for me in the long run--it gives me a positive feeling.

I hope your day turns around!!

TY Hoping!

I did sleep very well last night.

There was no noticeable trigger. Usually these thoughts are more like a persistent feeling of pending doom, like I just wrote in response to Mickey.

I like your approach of doing things the right way so as to feel more positive.

One thing I worry about is being laid off from my one part time job because I was laid off from another part time job recently. I worry about my performance. So I just have to work really hard to make sure I am doing the best possible work. But even so, I caught a mistake I made, and I have to bring it to my boss's attention. I haven't yet but I want to correct the problem. I think I will feel better once I do this -- he will see that I am doing my due diligence. Maybe then I won't have this awful feeling of a potential layoff.....

that's just one of the issues haunting me. Basically, I worry about everything in my life falling to pieces.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

How long have you been experiencing this? Is it linked perhaps to the coming Spring?

Negative and catastrophic thinking has always been an issue for me but it seems to heighten with the changing of seasons. I have caught myself being rather argumentative more than usual these days. Despite goodness in my life, I too brace myself for something to go wrong and destroy it. The dangerous part is that in the past I have noted this thinking leads to self-sabotaging what is going well.

This is the first thing that came to mind reading your post - is the weather affecting your outlook?

TY justafriend!

I don't think it relates to the seasons or a change in season. It is more so related to recent events in my life that have gone haywire... a broken relationship/ broken engagement, getting demoted and losing one of my jobs... and then past events where everything has gone wrong too. I just fear that this trend will continue on and on, and that what I want in life will continue to fall apart and not happen the way I expect and want.

Originally Posted by golden_eve

TY Hoping!

I did sleep very well last night.

There was no noticeable trigger. Usually these thoughts are more like a persistent feeling of pending doom, like I just wrote in response to Mickey.

I like your approach of doing things the right way so as to feel more positive.

One thing I worry about is being laid off from my one part time job because I was laid off from another part time job recently. I worry about my performance. So I just have to work really hard to make sure I am doing the best possible work. But even so, I caught a mistake I made, and I have to bring it to my boss's attention. I haven't yet but I want to correct the problem. I think I will feel better once I do this -- he will see that I am doing my due diligence. Maybe then I won't have this awful feeling of a potential layoff.....

that's just one of the issues haunting me. Basically, I worry about everything in my life falling to pieces.

I think if things go right for a while (as in you keep this job for a while and are able to build up your savings account), your feeling of doom will become less intense. Perhaps it is PTSD from having such a hard past year. The longer your life is on a more secure path, the more these feelings may fade. Let's hope!!

[Deejay14]

Eve,
Have you read the book FEELING GOOD by David Burns, I believe. You can probably find it at the library or buys copy for cheap. It has some great exercises in it that I still use to combat your thinking. Now I can do some of them automatically in my head when I need to.

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I think if things go right for a while (as in you keep this job for a while and are able to build up your savings account), your feeling of doom will become less intense. Perhaps it is PTSD from having such a hard past year. The longer your life is on a more secure path, the more these feelings may fade. Let's hope!!

TY Hoping! That's a really good point! Yes, let's hope!!

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Eve,
Have you read the book FEELING GOOD by David Burns, I believe. You can probably find it at the library or buys copy for cheap. It has some great exercises in it that I still use to combat your thinking. Now I can do some of them automatically in my head when I need to.

No, I haven't seen this book, but maybe I will pick up a copy! TY!!

[mugwort2]

I can relate too. My tendency is to think good times won't last. I do experience good, positive experiences at itmes. However my feeling is something negative is to happen. I can commiserate with you. I realize my thinking regarding negative thinking is faulty. I'm glad you can be objective about your attitude too.

[*Laurie*]

I have struggled terribly with that feeling of inevitable doom. Honestly, when I look back on those times (and some of them lasted years) I realize that I was depressed. Yes, I keep working with myself in therapy and in many other ways, but I have to say that finding the proper medications has helped me immensely. It's not that the "doom" feeling is gone, but it's not as all-consuming. I have breaks.

Yep, I am convinced the good times will never last. A great deal of this thinking stems from the fact I just don't feel deserving of good things happening. I can never truly let myself go, be completely happy, and enjoy the positive. The powers that be will figure out I am not good enough and everything will come crashing down.

Thank you, all.

Mugwort2, I am similar right now. I know why though. It's because everything falls apart for me eventually. Or good things will happen, then they don't last.

Laurie, I don't believe I am depressed, though I am on meds, so I cannot tell. Maybe I am. But for me, it's more so because of what I wrote above.

Justafriend, I hope that changes for you. You deserve every bit of happiness, just as much as anyone does!! We all do.

[Myhealer]

I am so sorry that you have so many negative thoughts. I do struggle with negative thoughts at times and I guess we all do at some point in our life. However, if it becomes a habit then it is dangerous. In my opinion most of the negative thoughts I get never really happen. So I try and cut down these negative thoughts by dwelling on the positive things in my life. I try to make thinking positive as a habit so the more I focus on the positive the less negative I think. Have you tried speaking to a counsellor about this? Let me know if you would like to speak with a counsellor. Praying that you be freed from these negative thoughts.

[Open Eyes]

((golden_eye)), the important thing to remember is that while you have experienced big disappointments in your life, you were continually learning from each challenge. If you sit and think about it, a lot of these experiences that had disappointments were due to the way others failed, not really yourself. Your advice to that other individual about how they were taking things in the wrong direction was right, you got to see the result take place that you had warned about happening. So, this was not "your failure" but instead this other person failed.

Remember to recognize the positives where you were actually right in the challenge and it was the other person who "failed" to listen and ended up with the true loss. The business world can be cold, and a lot of people have to find a way to work around that unpleasant reality.

Originally Posted by Myhealer

I am so sorry that you have so many negative thoughts. I do struggle with negative thoughts at times and I guess we all do at some point in our life. However, if it becomes a habit then it is dangerous. In my opinion most of the negative thoughts I get never really happen. So I try and cut down these negative thoughts by dwelling on the positive things in my life. I try to make thinking positive as a habit so the more I focus on the positive the less negative I think. Have you tried speaking to a counsellor about this? Let me know if you would like to speak with a counsellor. Praying that you be freed from these negative thoughts.

TY. I will talk to my therapist about it too. It could just be a phase I am going through right now since normally I am very positive minded. A lot of negative things have happened lately, one after another, so I think that's the root of it.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

((golden_eye)), the important thing to remember is that while you have experienced big disappointments in your life, you were continually learning from each challenge. If you sit and think about it, a lot of these experiences that had disappointments were due to the way others failed, not really yourself. Your advice to that other individual about how they were taking things in the wrong direction was right, you got to see the result take place that you had warned about happening. So, this was not "your failure" but instead this other person failed.

Remember to recognize the positives where you were actually right in the challenge and it was the other person who "failed" to listen and ended up with the true loss. The business world can be cold, and a lot of people have to find a way to work around that unpleasant reality.

TY.

Your post is a great reminder of that one victory, which I need to hold onto and remember during times like these. And it was a victory, so I need to remember that not all has been bad lately. I suppose it's easy to color everything negatively when negative things happen, but I need to look for any positives through the seemingly more negative experiences. And you're right.. I have learned through each challenge. TY again!

[cool09]

I read that David Burns book on CBT. I couldn't do the exercises on distorted thinking, black/white thinking, all or none, etc. Everything I've done the last 40 years has eventually gone wrong for me due to my illness. Even hospital stays go wrong for me, I end up with nurses and techs who are frustrated with me.

[Onward2wards]

I realized quite recently that my mind pulls this interesting "double whammy" of focusing on fears while also losing track of, and belief in, positive outcomes. Some people might see this as a kind of teeter-totter effect, I don't think it is. It seems to be two different problems at the same time. Noticing that is helping me challenge it.

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

I realized quite recently that my mind pulls this interesting "double whammy" of focusing on fears while also losing track of, and belief in, positive outcomes. Some people might see this as a kind of teeter-totter effect, I don't think it is. It seems to be two different problems at the same time. Noticing that is helping me challenge it.

That's exactly what is happening to me! My fears take over and then I cannot believe in a positive outcome.