confessions of little turtle with love

You’re not full of crap little turtle

Why do you think you’re full of crap?

But I am

I just posted another rant NOT about anyone here. Bad bad paws

I took serokill last night and the night before .. to get some sleep

Rash not worse

Boil still a pain in the butt

And of course I’m “paranoid” about medical stuff, apparently.

(That cruel GP picked up on something he “just” got it all wrong and twisted up

This bus ride is very bumpy

Vitamin D deficiency - maybe I do have that..

If this bus has an exit button maybe I can be the first in the queue..

This isn’t to bring anyone down

As I’m the driver ... or maybe little turtle is really the driver...maybe I can be the first in that queue

fuzzy you are the driver...I am very old now and losing energy...
in august I will be 87 yo...I am getting closer to death...I still want to live..
I am trying to focus now on what will lead to feeling better not worse...
so I had my coffee...and I am happier when I get along with my wife...
and you cant go to jail for what you are thinking...

What will lead to feeling better... for me... being corrected does not lead to me feeling better. Just in general, it never has done.

I guess I had better get off the computer for now.

I’m with Desiree, Depression is worse and anxiety is worse.

But I still can drive this bus

You would know how much crap I am filled with if you ever see me. I have high levels of testosterone so I am a bit muscular and tall and I am a bit fat as well. Got almost a full beard and all. Whenever I go outside, classmates and peers as well as other people call me "sir" before noticing I I have possible intellectual disability. Then they avoid me. Imagine how I must feel at that moment.

Today was chemistry lab work and I found out it hard to do the experiment and my partner regretted making me his partner. I talked to a professor of ours and he told me to not stress myself, everything will be fine, I just need to finish the theory first.

So I feel like I am full of crap as well, despite being large. I am malnourished (it isn't obvious, but a person with keen observation can deduce that) and my brain isn't trained for basic things so I feel like I am full of crap all the time.

I am not. As Eminem would say, "But no matter how many fish in the sea. It will be so empty without me."

as is....love is patient...love is kind...it is what it is..
talk with fuzzy about this on the bus

Hmm... I am not a fan of love (except understanding) anymore.

another part of that was coming to terms with who you really are...
because some things are not going to change I don't think..

I have to log out now

I have a lot of physical stuff

I’m not a “bad paws”

Not a fan of love

I’m sorry I just don’t get that

I’m not as good a driver as little turtle

I’m not perfect

a true confession coming up...on the bus...
when I die that will be it for me..
I do not believe in any life after death...nothing..
when I talk to my friends ...they don't like me talking
about dying...but I have a need to talk about death..
my death and the death recently of my good friend...
I don't like it...

fuzzy paws

I agree with little turtle that some things aren’t going to change

I can’t move on from being fuzzy paws

I would not want to, that’s who I am

Little turtle can’t move on from being little turtle



And I really have to log off

I understand - I think - I don’t like talking about death either

But people on the bus care about you little turtle

Some of my friends don’t like me talking about “hard stuff” either

But being silenced hurts and is “wrong” imo

I am a teenager and no matter how severe my mental illness is, I'll change in the coming years, most probably. It's a biological thing. I hope I become someone like Eminem.

I am not going to live half your age, sometimes I wonder if I am going to get my bachelor's degree. It's just how things are, I don't know what to say after that. Nothing is purely good and purely evil. Your death is going to be almost fully bad (in terms of morals) but there's nothing I can do about it.

It's a funny thing but I am choosing to reveal. I actually write word salads and my brain inserts random words here and there while I am writing this. I try hard to make sense while talking.

“They can’t stop us loving each other”

A good friend said this,

I’m a loving being but I’m far from perfect.

Well said Fuzzy,

Thank you for sharing this.

Much love to you and all posters

my very first panic attack was unreal...I never experienced anything like it..
I really went downhill after that...I never wanted to be there ever again....

I took the serokill again last night

I don’t want more boils on my butt ggggrrrrrrrrrrr

Are you a snapper turtle?

I’ve noticed that Desiree and Rohag haven’t been on this bus lately

Did you think you knew everything when you were 18? Not literally... there was a lot I didn’t know at that age and I’m a smart bear, I have a degree..

at age 18 all was going well...
at age 19 my life was destroyed..
my girlfriend left me...
she said she never wanted to see me again..
I was very depressed...I was lost..

tell me more about you fuzzy

Maybe I’m “a......... person” what does that even mean

I feel lost ..

It’s a bit like what you said about a panic attack.. nothing has been the same.

I don’t ever want to go “there” ..

...............

...............

I was accused of “mind reading” a while back on another forum

I don’t think I do that. why do so many people analyse others (and get it wrong ) but maybe don’t analyse themselves

NOT about anyone on the bus

But yes I do get angry and hurt when people judge me wrongly, there’s far too much crap in this life without that as well...

How do you engage with “an angry person” - like my PUS - they never own their stuff

And that boil is PUSing how freakin symbolic gggrrrrrrrr

Too much **** ggrrrrrr

I don't like my wife to be---------
criticizing me
blaming me
complaining about me
nagging me
threatening me
punishing me
judging me

how about this fuzzy about popeye----------
I am what I am
and that's all that I am
i'm popeye the sailor man

what would olive O say about this...