[anna342]

I was starting to see I could make something of my life, but now so many things have hit me. Everytime i'm faced with decisions and challenges I end up falling into a big hole of anxiety, doubt, despair and shame.

I can't cope with anything anymore. I just screw everything up. I don't want to be me anymore.

[EJ711]

Hi Anna,

It is hard to make decisions when you are feeling depressed.

Don't give up hope.

Maybe you can share some of what you are trying to sort through here, and you can get some input that might help point you in the right direction.

Hugs,

EJ

[anna342]

It's sometimes just day to day stuff... whether I'm going to eat, what to wear, whether to go out etc.

But then there is so much stuff I need to sort out, housing, university stuff, money, family stuff. It just seems like I have this huge weight on top of me. I just want to run away from it all. I thought I had everything sorted a few months back, I tried so hard. Now it's all over the place. I don't want to face it. I wish it'd all just go. Life isn't meant to be simple, so why bother? I'm not threatening to do anything, just don't know how to live.

I feel pathetic, I'm struggling to do something that everyone has to do, growing up. It's scaring me that this is what my life is going to be like forever. I want someone to take it all away.

[stefano]

Ah, making decisions... so hard for us. Difficult to make decisions is one symptom of depression, there is nothing to be ashamed, even if many people will put the blame on you for this.
Just one hint: all too often we're not just busy doing things WE need, but also things others want us to do, and caring about things that our society tells us to be important. You should try to get free of this extra burden.
So when you are confronted by a painful task ask yourself: "do I need this?" "what bnefit this one will get me?"

I'm trying to do it... you may try too

[anna342]

I understand what you mean stefano, but helping anyone else is far more of a priority to me than doing anything for myself. I don't put much value on my own life.

[tracy24]

i just joined this forum. at work, shouldnt be doing this, but sadness is all that's on my mind. i find comfort in your words, because i feel the same way and it makes me feel more human.

[anna342]

I'm glad my words are of some use. I don't feel like I am.

Right now my mood is dropping further. I'm alone in this real world. I know I have people here, but I feel abandoned by people in the real world. All my support has gone, family and friends don't understand, and are far far away. The professionals are ill and off work, all at same time. I've not been offered anyone else to talk to. I'm alone. I don't know what I'm going to become.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( anna )))))))))))))

I also live in the UK..... PM me if you need to talk

(((((((anna)))))

Just one thing at a time hun, I know this feeling so so well. I always try to please others all the time. I am slowly learning to please myself too....never thought I would here myself say that..so there is hope for all Dont take too much on board, you will overwhelm yourself, only do what is important, make a list, if you're anything like me whilst in a depression my memory is awful. Make a list of things that really are important and do them first, take it easy....take time out for YOU every single day to do what YOU want. It may be something small, you may not feel like doing it, but you will have a sense of achievement once one hurdle is over. Keep talking, journaling, writing poetry, songs whatever YOU enjoy doing, don't feel guilty about spending Anna time. You deserve it, nurture yourself.

I hope you feel better soon. Just take things slowly, your health is so important. Here if you need to talk, Ive been where you are, still go there somedays, up and down like a bloody rollercoaster me, I'm from uk too.

take care, keep reaching out here, we're on your side sweetie.

Love, Jinnyann xxxxxxxx

[Doh2007]

I'm so sorry that you are suffering. I know what hopeless feels like. Can you do one nice thing for yourself right now? (Coming here was a important step, too.)

Something that helps me is to write down everything that needs doing. It gets it out of your head and you can let it go for now and not keep having to remember everything.

I know you need so much more, but I hope knowing how much we all care helps a little.