[lotusblossom19]

I hate the way I've been feeling. Absolutely hate it. I don't care for unsolicited advice either, particularly when it's obvious the advice giver isn't really interested in my welfare but only in their show of intelligence/competence in solving what they perceive to be my problem. Never helpful. Good God I'm tired.

I'm at a party. Stepped outside. I cant stand being around drunk loud stoners. I will never do this again. I said before that I'd break up with this bf. I hope i will now. I don't belong with him. He's just ignoring me anyways. Wish I'd stayed home.

I feel myself sliding down. Tired all the time the past month or so.

[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by disparaissant

I'm at a party. Stepped outside. I cant stand being around drunk loud stoners. I will never do this again. I said before that I'd break up with this bf. I hope i will now. I don't belong with him. He's just ignoring me anyways. Wish I'd stayed home.

This guy sounds like a loser. I hope you can break up with him. You deserve better.

Well, I did it! I went on my trip. When I got up this morning and even at the airport waiting for my flight, I had feelings of dread. It got to the point that I couldn't believe that I got on the plane. There were times when I thought that I couldn't go that far. I got to my destination and got a rental car. It was a long drive after a fairly long flight. I made it! I didn't have the depression and panic attacks like I thought I would. I'm at a place that I have never been to. After the flight and then the drive, I thought I was dreaming. I even told myself that I have to wake up from this dream. No, this is real!

I still wonder what the rest of the time will be like being where I am. So far it's going pretty well. I hope it stays that way. Oh, and by the way, I was told by the manager at the place I'm staying at that the Wi Fi won't work inside my place. Well, it is!

[lilacsnow]

Not sure what's happening emotionally etc at the moment except that I feel stressed. Would like to learn some tips for how to tune into and resolve what's going on - or maybe I do know but have just got out of practise of identifying an issue and working through it.

I guess it's probably the obvious - a heavy family situation which although I am some distance from, still takes up quite a bit of energy. Ugh.

I spent most of the morning moaning on blah therapy about how bad I felt

and so far i've spent most of the afternoon on here

safe to say I didn't get much done?

I hate sundays anyway.

they need to die a slow painful death

[Deilla]

My first day home since being released from the hospital. I'm sad. I miss the hospital. I want to go back. There I was fed, had a schedule, people to talk to, things to do and felt pretty good. Now I'm alone, lonely, stressed, sad and barely eating.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Deilla

My first day home since being released from the hospital. I'm sad. I miss the hospital. I want to go back. There I was fed, had a schedule, people to talk to, things to do and felt pretty good. Now I'm alone, lonely, stressed, sad and barely eating.

(((((Deilla))))). I hope you feel better soon. You’re not alone. Please post as often as you need to.

[Rose76]

I've managed to work my way down into a real trough. Time to get out of bed and start doing stuff that needs doing. All morning I said it won't make any difference. But it will, if I keep at it.

I've been sulking since yesterday when my bf remarked on some housekeeping that needs catching up on. I wasted yesterday morning, and he said nothing, while I stayed on the couch watching TV. Then I go up and got doing. While I was finishing up one project, he started complaining that there was too much clutter on the table. That infuriated and exasperated me. So I became demoralized. But I did straighten out a few more things. But I was mad.

This morning I woke up mad and have spent the day sulking. Pretty childish . . . and pretty stupid. Plus, I am just feeling worse and worse.

I want to just be single again and comfortable to be alone. I'm not a people person. Think I'll just become a hibernating hermit this winter. Done using up my car driving to the bfs just to be insulted and ignored. What a waste of my old car. Its sounding like its giving up. Then I'd really be depressed.

[zapatoes]

Slept in both days this weekend, did some laundry, got out yesterday evening and socialized some with eating dinner out, listened to some live music. Made an early night of it and returned home at 9:30 pm. Slept in today and again doing laundry and ordered groceries online for pick up tomorrow. Not motivated much today and ate lunch of leftover soup.

[Rose76]

I've gotten pretty low. It was just a miserable unhappy weekend.

This is the first full day of my vacation being a long way from home. I went to a church this morning. It had been the first time going to a church in a good while. It was alright but I wasn't too crazy about it. I thought that it would be better than the churches at where I live. I left just before the sermon ended and then explored the town nearby. After that I went shopping for groceries for the rest of my stay. While shopping I felt like a zombie. Really tired and not feeling with it. But it all went OK.

Nothing much after that, but that's OK. I wanted it that way anyways. It's nice to just relax and take my sweet time doing things, but it's always been so hard for me to just do nothing.

[MissCrazy]

Feeling so down and out right now. Got woken up by the same person that let me cry myself asleep last night. He could have handled it himself if he had and ounce of initiative .

Things have been so so rough. I stayed in bed all day yesterday. All. Freaking. Day. I did manage to get up in the afternoon to make quick easy dinner just to quickly go back to bed. I just want to sleep. The only way to "disappear" is into my nightmares.

Im so unhappy. Filled with so much sorrow and regret and wishing I could finally do better. I'm in a relationship I don't wanna be in but have become Co dependent on. I'm not as good of a mother as I should be. So much going on... Way too much.

Today I didn't do much, except to do a lot of driving this morning. I didn't quite make it to the destination I wanted because it was too long of a way. But I got to see some interesting things.

Not as nice today as yesterday as it's been raining steady and kind of cold. Not a good day to take a walk. Tomorrow is supposed to be better.

Also at the place I'm staying at, I had been getting pretty good internet connection, even though the manager told me I couldn't. But in the last hour or so, I can't get a good connection. Maybe it's because of the rain.

[Mountaindewed]

I found out my cat who is just 1 or 2 years old is dying. We are getting a new store manager tommrow and I am nervous about meeting him and sad about the old one leaving. My SAD is starting and I have a feeling it will be bad this year. While I always have a lot of holiday spirit for my age, working retail during the holidays is still stressful. I’m managing though.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I found out my cat who is just 1 or 2 years old is dying. We are getting a new store manager tommrow and I am nervous about meeting him and sad about the old one leaving. My SAD is starting and I have a feeling it will be bad this year. While I always have a lot of holiday spirit for my age, working retail during the holidays is still stressful. I’m managing though.

(((((Hugs))))). I’m sorry about your cat.

[Rose76]

I'm still mad at my bf. He just asked me to come sit in the living room where he is. I thought that was kind of sweet. Then it turned out what he really wanted was for me to keep changing the channel on the TV for him. Operating a remote is challenging these days, for those who are infirm, especially when most stations have 3 digits.

So it dawned on me. I'm basically a convenience. Change the TV station. Fill up my water glass. See if the door is locked. Take this plate away, I'm finished. So I went back to the bedroom. I told him, "I'll be in the servant's quarters, should you desire anything further. Just ring."

I keep remembering how his kids were just out and took pictures of them and him together. I wasn't asked to be in any of these photos. Servants generally aren't.

He won't break down and ask me what I need from him. I'm a sucker for even the least attempt at reconciliation. But he will keep acting oblivious to my being upset, just waiting for my bad mood to blow over.

I'm waiting for that too. I get into these snits from time to time. But this is since Saturday. Last night I did make dinner. But I was so disorganized, it burned. Tonight I'm not even interested in cooking. Tomorrow I have to take him for his treatment. He has to be shaved and his fingernails cut. He had an attendant for 8 hours today. I don't see why she can't get some of that done. I should have asked her to shave him today. She's 50, not a kid. Has been coming here for over 2 years. But only does some things when I specifically ask her to. I forget. Because I used to do homecare. I did those things automatically.

[twistypringle98]

I have a true problem in my life with jerks who pretend to be my friends. I can tell when someone acts like this: OMG, to your face, I'll be your buddy, but in the end, I'll end up stabbing you in the back. Or a family member being so fake they are just like "No more wire hangers" lady from that one movie almost behind my back. I don't know why all my relationships are like this. I only talk to about three people on a regular basis. It's just amazing how it liquefied down to that. I blew my life apart a few years ago and wasn't prepared for the consequences. It's like everyone and everything wants me to regret lying some really dumb lies while it being obvious they were lies. I never intended to harm anyone with them and only ended up being that much of an idiot for just speaking something when I wanted to say something. I guess they think they are my God or something because they have such a delusional complex that I can't even act or think about anything besides regretting certain things that were just lies that I have to literally find a way out of this hellhole just to make it out sane which is never going to happen.

[sky457]

Worried about our environment.....hopefully we can fix our environmental problem...before we cant...

less than average meal last night

no sleep

nothing going on today of any value

nothing accomplished

pretty much sums today up

[Rose76]

Still feel down.

today can go under the category " awake, only because I can't sleep"

nothing got done and the day was pointless