[Taylor27]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

I am in a great deal of distress - mostly over the top worry about work. I constantly think catastrophically in addition to worry about perceived performance.

Now I am feeling depression swoop in for a double punch. I feel useless. I feel weak because I am letting work bother me so much. I feel silly. I feel like no one likes me. I feel like a failure. I nearly came to tears last night in front of my boyfriend who knows something is horribly wrong. He is incredibly supportive and tries his best to be encouraging and understand. But this is as big a challenge for him as it is for me as I have no answers for him when he asks what he can do. When I had tears well up in my eyes last night he asked me to call my psychologist. The last time he was so concerned I ended up checking myself into the hospital. Gosh, I hope that is not what it has come down to this time around. Oh to be normal and not have to worry about work. It would solve so many problems not the least of which is my unhappiness with myself.

[Sunflower123]

I have a family member who clearly has (to me anyway) dysthymia and anxiety. I so badly want to say: This can be treated..Tackle it now...You can enjoy life...I will do all the legwork and go with you...I will figure out how to pay for it. They just aren’t open to it and it’s hard to watch.

I will be loving and supportive and mind my own business.

Best wishes to everyone for a peaceful weekend.

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

doing better today. a relaxing night and my son falling asleep early helped tremendously. Now I'm waiting for him to take his nap so I can lie down again. Lying down feels so good. then later on i'll get the girls and deal with the rest of the day. But this definitely feels better than yesterday.

I'm so glad to hear you are doing better now. Hope it keeps going like that. I know you must be so tired, it's hard taking care of 2 myself, and you had 3. (well mine are adults now but you get what i mean} take care of you

I'm back home now, vacation is over. It came so fast and it ended so fast, though both were a very long wait. Much to my surprise, I felt alright when I got up this morning (at 4:30), had a quick breakfast, and left. I drove on dark country roads for the first hour and there were some fog. It was scary driving in an unknown territory for me. Got to the airport way ahead of time, but that time passed quickly. And then the flight seemed to have passed quickly.

When I got home it felt like a dream. It was hard to believe that I'm back home now. There were times when I thought (with those stupid catastrophic that I had while on vacation) that I would never get home. Either I'd be very sick or miss my connections. It all went well.

Like I said before, I ruined my vacation with my bad thoughts. But I talked to some people at home about it and they made me feel better, like there is a solution. It's sad that the vacation is over, but it's nice to be back home (I guess!).

pretty wasted day,

I ate a lot of junkfood, sat on my bed and watched hotel for dogs

extent of my motivation

[88Butterfly88]

I was just kind of sad this morning but feeling okay now.

[Deilla]

I had a good day. I focused on cleaning house. My mom came by to help me out. I offered to take her out for Mexican one weekend. That's huge for me. I haven't been out to eat in almost 2 years. I'm starting to feel better and better. Having a clean home helps so much.

Today is the first full day back home from my vacation. I feel more at home now; and it seems like that vacation I just had never happened. Now I'm not so sure if I'm happy to be back home. It seemed like things were better at that place I stayed at on my vacation than at home. I haven't felt that way when I came back from other places I visited. Yet, at the same time, I had ruined my vacation with so much anxiety thinking catastrophic thoughts. The vacation all went well and nothing went wrong.

Right now, the day is winding down. I always feel kind of depressed and alone on Saturday afternoons. Today, it's no different. I didn't feel that way a week ago today when I first arrived at my vacation spot. Right now I feel more down and alone than I did when I stayed at my place last week; and that place was more isolating and no one around to talk to. That's kind of weird.

[Rose76]

At the hospital with my S.O. Nothing too drastically wrong, but glad I brought him here.

Generally, I feel pretty good . . . at the moment.

I'm up all night besides a few hours here and there. This is maddening.

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by disparaissant

I'm up all night besides a few hours here and there. This is maddening.

I hope you get some rest and more sleep soon.

pretty much the same as any other day

probably should have done more with my day,

didn't

and feel like my time has been wasted

[Mountaindewed]

It was kind of bad today. Just with the stress of work since it’s the start of the holidays. And the cats sick. I take him to the vet tomorrow. He has a cold now so I’m kind of worried. I’m the opposite of a stress eater and a lot of the time I don’t really care about food and when I do it’s about a 600 calorie ice cream cone and then a 300 calorie bowl of soup and nothing else all day. and then with the weather changing and my SAD starting it’s just getting difficult. I’m also nervous about my teeth since my lamictal is causing severe teeth issues. I see the dentist on the 24th. I’m also waiting to hear back from SSDI, and it’s got me very, very concerned. It’s just been rough this past week.

Was pretty busy throughout the day. Did a little shopping and then worked on my bathroom a little bit. Made some little improvements. Nothing very exciting socially.

It's back to work tomorrow. It's pretty hard to go back to work after being away for a while. I like my job, but I just hate going in after being away.

You see these commercials about people asking for help and they get it. That's not reflective of real life. In the real world, some ask for help and get emotionally abused, abandoned, betrayed, have their lives literally stolen out from under them.....that's the reality.

[sky457]

Alone....

Wish I wasn’t alone...

[T4bbyCat]

Curious about the chat room, since it always seems to have people in it, unlike most other places... but can't get in until 4 more posts.

[SlumberKitty]

Feeling kind of crappy today. Made myself go to work. There was a big internal fight in my head over that one. But its a good thing I ended up coming to work.

[Rose76]

I'm tired, but not depressed.

Went back to work today. I was dreading going to work, but once I got in and started doing things, then I felt fine. It seemed like my replacement, this time while I was gone, did the best job ever. I didn't get good help before. I told people at work about my trip. I didn't say a word about having anxiety like I did when I was there.

Went bike riding for an hour after work. I may have to give that up pretty soon because the sun is setting earlier now. I plan to workout tomorrow. I haven't done it in 12 days.

It's nice being back in the swing of things now. But on Thursday I have a dental appointment that I'm dreading.

I feel extremely lucky today

yesterday my dinner was off, and overnight, I had a really bad tummy ache

it continued for a lot of this morning too- I'm still amazed how I was able to eat breakfast because of the pain

but now it seems to be subsiding, and I just feel really lucky that it's not worse and that their are no other side affects

just ashame that my overeating is 10 times worse than it was yesterday and I have nothing really going for me today.

mood's okay despite not sleeping again

weather is raining

[lotusblossom19]

Really sucks not being able to cry when you really want/need to do so. There is a heavy weight of tiredness I feel, and no matter how much sleep I get, it remains. I did what I planned to do today at least, so that's something. I just wish someone truly understood how hard it is for me to keep going and could see how so very hard I try.

[88Butterfly88]

Feeling depressed and like I don't want to go on like this.

[PsychNitrous]

Going through a pretty bad episode right now. If I'm not distracted by work (only a handful of hours a day right now), all I want to do is cry. I hate how helpless this makes me feel.

[Rose76]

I'm managing. At the hospital now. I can make things okay, if I just keep up an effort.