I'm becoming very ill. Been thinking about everything and I don't feel I did anything right today. Both the bf and son were treated for pneumonia, and I've neglected my own needs. This cough is becoming frightening. hugs to all who i know and don't know, this world is cruel to me and many. I hope to wake up and feel more positive tomorrow so I might be of some good in this world yet.

[Rose76]

Woke up at 7 a.m. Slept soundly all night. That was due to not sleeping well the night before.

I guess I won't sleep good tonight. That's the cycle.

[katydid777]

I am doing ok today, so far so good.

[fallaximago]

Today has been another strange day. Strange as in not horrible but not good either. Gray.

[katydid777]

I am doing ok today. The only thing I have to do is the dishes.

The day is halfway over now, I'll have lunch pretty soon. After lunch I plan on bike riding. It's too nice of a day to just stay inside. I had some things I wanted to do this morning, but didn't accomplish what I wanted because some of the places were closed. Oh well!

[Rose76]

I admire your bike-riding habit. I think it's the greatest form of exercise. It gets you out and about. I used to do errands on my bike, but haven't in years.

Keep riding, will19.

bad day... cannot stop crying and cant get out of bed

[88Butterfly88]

Depression wasn't too bad today, which was a big improvement over yesterday. Took the Sanity Score test today and it says overall my depression has improved which I tend to agree with. I'll take whatever I can get.

deeply depressed for much of the day, very little accomplished too.

was hot this afternoon so had to open my window to let in some cold air from outside (and some rain). I guess that was nice. nice because it was some fresh air without actually being outside

but yeah.... nothing special about today

Today was a busy day for me, as always, on Saturdays. I just love the mornings; even though I feel depressed while getting out of bed like this morning. And I love the early afternoons. When the shopping part ends, then it feels more like Sunday than Saturday.

My friend will be leaving in a couple of days for a three-week trip. He and his wife are going to the Amazon. I hope that they will be alright since they are both in their 80s and he's not in the best of health. I will miss him; as far as talking to him every night. But lots of times I wish I had another friend. There are times when I feel like I get tired of him. He seems more like a critical Dad than a cool brother. Also he can't drive and do things for himself; meaning that he depends on me to do things for him.

I'm just going to watch a movie tonight, like I have always done for decades. I get sick of it, but there seems to be nothing else to do on a Saturday night. It depresses me at times.

[lotusblossom19]

The downs far outweigh the ups, that's for sure.

[zapatoes]

Just sleepy now, a general bummed out feeling as guy I was dating not the one and first holiday after my dad passed this summer. Sometimes get angry and go from sad to angry. Usually do pretty good considering everything.

yesterday I wanted to self harm (I didn't, despite having access to what I wanted), I ended up watching some comedy show on tv and forgot about it

today those thoughts are even stronger (and I'm still near the item in question). I've so far watched a christmas movie and a programme about the ambulance, but it's not really making a diffrence to how I feel.

tonight I'm having my roast dinner like usual, then probably like usual go back to my room and do nothing.

again today isn't really my day (hasn't been my day for ages)

I went to the bathroom a couple of times in the middle of the night and felt very dizzy. When I got out of bed at 7:15 this morning, I still felt dizzy, but not as bad. I'm feeling alright now but not quite 100% yet. I've had these spells before.

I got thinking to myself that living at my place may have caused it. It was a pretty bad day yesterday. I have wanted to move out for quite a while. Lately it's getting worse instead of better. There are hardly any real nice days at where I live. I feel like I can't stand it anymore. I have some really bad neighbors and hardly any good ones.

Starting this week, I'll try to get the ball rolling at leaving and finding another place.

Not depressed. Confused. Upset. Not hungry but I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other. Can't get in about my cough for another week or so.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs to all

It was pretty nice to be back at work today. I worked out after work. I felt somewhat depressed just before working out. And then I thought that maybe I shouldn't work out. Well, I did, and was glad that I worked out.

My friend is leaving tonight for a three week trip. We never got together this past weekend. Yesterday we could have. He never asked me to come over; and I would have if he had asked me. I got an email in the mid afternoon yesterday in which he said, "I would like to invite you over but you would come up with a reason why you can't come". I didn't think that was very nice of him to say that. Besides, I thought that he and his wife would be very busy packing.

I am living for the day when he gets locked up. It can't happen soon enough.

Trying to be positive. Very tired and anxious.

[Rose76]

I feel like I'm running out of gas. I've been crying over nothing for 20 minutes. Went to a doctor appt. with my bf today. Tomorrow we see another doctor. I'm so tired of dealing with medical care. He feels pretty okay much of the time, but he's just getting sicker. This could be much worse. I've certainly seen people a lot sicker. Families deal with much more tragic situations. I guess I feel pretty alone with everything. I'm getting weary.

It was not busy at work today but there was an upsetting event that happened. It got me down this afternoon. I worked out after work. I was still feeling down because of what had happened at work. But felt better after the workout and my performance had improved, much to my surprise!

Tonight the hot tub at the pool area was cold. So I just sent a note to the HOA. I have been having a lot of contact with them lately because things are not working. I am so fed up with my place!

suicidal and irritable

one of those times where you clearly have a lot of things going on (or in my case, bad thoughts), and not enough people to listen.

I did do something productive though. I actually fitted my new drawers in my room (the old ones were broken so I had to replace them), it was hard work and even harder work plugging everything back in, but it's done now and I don't have to worry about doing it again (hopefully)

these ones are smaller and hopefully more sturdy

[Rose76]

I broke down crying in front of the home attendant. Embarrassing. But she is very understanding. This is the lowest I've been in months. Just depleted.

The place is a mess . . . mainly just on top of the bed. Mainly paperwork, which I have a serious neurotic problem with . . . shades of hoarding/indecision/disorganization.

I just have to tackle it. A few hydrocodone might help. I lost my Ritalin.

At least I'm not tired now. Mornings are dreadful with how sleepy I feel, even after a decent amount of sleep. So those hours get just wasted. I can't afford that much time wasted.

It was not busy at work today, but a much better day emotionally for me. This one guy and I talked things over about yesterday when there was a bit of a fiasco. There were some things he said that I didn't understand or agree with, but we ironed out the problem. He is sort of a friend of mine at work. He's a pretty nice guy, but there are times when he can be a real stinker.

Just did the laundry tonight. Very windy and cold outside.