Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #25

Sep 29, 2018, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

I thought that my friend was going to come and visit me. We set up a deal that we can meet at where I go shopping, then he could come home with me. He just told me that I can't go home with me. He's just strange that way. I wish I had a better friend.

CORRECTION: Last night my friend called me and gave me a choice of either taking the bus coming to my place to visit me or go to where I shop. He told me that going to where I go shopping would be easier on him in taking the bus. So I told him that we could meet at where I shop. When I called him before going shopping, he told me that he was going home from where we were to meet. He didn't say that to me last night. If he had told me last night that he would go home after meeting with me, I would have chosen for him to take the bus to come and visit me instead.

After that, I felt very bad about myself. I felt dumb because I made an obvious choice that I wanted the other option and not the one I chose. Like I said, he didn't tell me that he would go home after meeting at where I go shopping. I thought that he would come home with me after shopping. He had done that many times before. Just not this time.

Fuzzybear · Sep 29, 2018, 07:04 PM

Good grief

I wish some people would get a life

(Not about anyone here)

Rose76 · Sep 29, 2018, 07:17 PM

I'm becoming a vegetable.

Fuzzybear · Sep 29, 2018, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm becoming a vegetable.

Sorry to hear that

I’m not an expert at psych but is there any way you could “reframe” that

My mind is too freakin “active” if anything

I hope you don’t beat yourself up for not “doing things” all the time

We’re only human... uh.. bear

Fuzzybear · Sep 29, 2018, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

CORRECTION: Last night my friend called me and gave me a choice of either taking the bus coming to my place to visit me or go to where I shop. He told me that going to where I go shopping would be easier on him in taking the bus. So I told him that we could meet at where I shop. When I called him before going shopping, he told me that he was going home from where we were to meet. He didn't say that to me last night. If he had told me last night that he would go home after meeting with me, I would have chosen for him to take the bus to come and visit me instead.

After that, I felt very bad about myself. I felt dumb because I made an obvious choice that I wanted the other option and not the one I chose. Like I said, he didn't tell me that he would go home after meeting at where I go shopping. I thought that he would come home with me after shopping. He had done that many times before. Just not this time.

((((((((( hugs ))))))))

Rose76 · Sep 29, 2018, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sorry to hear that

I’m not an expert at psych but is there any way you could “reframe” that

My mind is too freakin “active” if anything

I hope you don’t beat yourself up for not “doing things” all the time

We’re only human... uh.. bear

I would feel so much better if I got the apartment straightened up. The bedroom is worst. In order to get into bed at night, I have to shove stuff over on the bed. I feed my bf and help him with necessary care. Then I just sit and read.

I don't get dressed. I haven't brushed my teeth since yesterday. I haven't opened my mail in a week. This is apathy of a very bad kind.

Sep 30, 2018, 05:18 AM

downloaded some music yesterday- some songs I'd wanted for a while so that was good.

I also started a new book.

was meant to watch a comedy show on tv, but didn't in the end

dry day today...

Rose76 · Sep 30, 2018, 05:47 AM

I've been awake all night reading and watching YouTube videos. I feel rotten. Dirty dishes are strewn around the kitchen. The stove and countertops are dirty.

Before I get the kitchen cleaned up from preparing a meal, it's time to start another meal. I'm sick of turning out meals.

At times I'm teary eyed.

I did trim the rose bushes 3 days ago. Every time I go outside now and see them, I feel good.

My throat and nose are sore.

I just don't care about doing anything.

I'm tired of being with my bf. He sleeps much of the time. He stares at the TV and can't hardly hold a conversation. Every so many hours he says, "What's there to eat?" Then it's back to KP duty.

Within a few days I'll probably feel okay again. This keeps happening. Up and down. Up and down. His cough sounds bad.

Smileonmyface · Sep 30, 2018, 08:46 AM

I think I was under the illusion that I could "choose" to snap out of my depression at times when I needed to, like when hubby forces me to go out and socialize and I have to put up a good front for him. On Friday I just couldn't do it. I don't want to go out anymore. It's more of a date night for him with other people anyway. It has nothing to do with me. Feeling down and tired and sick of trying.

Sep 30, 2018, 02:32 PM

I'm hanging low at home here today. Feeling alright. Spent the morning doing little errands and getting some stuff together for my trip. This will be my first trip away in six years! My mind has been a "roller-coaster" about this trip. One minute I'm psyched and the next I want to cancel.

I was hoping that my friend would come over today. I don't think he will. I didn't ask him to come over. I thought it would be nice since he could have come over yesterday and didn't. It was kind of my fault that it didn't happen that way.

I plan on just a one hour bike ride today. Because I want to spend the afternoon getting more stuff together. Plus a good portion of the road I bike on is closed because of an air show.

Deilla · Sep 30, 2018, 06:50 PM

Feeling lonely and depressed. I've been in bed most of the day. I haven't talked to my online friends this weekend. I've been too depressed.

Yzen · Oct 01, 2018, 04:57 AM

I'm returning to therapy with a new T after months away from it. I am hopeful that this time therapy will be more helpful but my expectations are low. At least, it will be useful to talk to someone instead of keeping it all in myself.

Karatekid1975 · Oct 01, 2018, 05:58 AM

I'm new here. Just checking in. I've had depression since I was a teen, now 43. It landed me in the hospital a few times, but meds have it somewhat under control for the most part. I still have those days where I get depressed, but not as bad. I hope to get to know folks here.

Laurie

Oct 01, 2018, 09:51 AM

depressed, depressed, and depressed.

did so little with my day today it is unreal

Fuzzybear · Oct 01, 2018, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yzen

I'm returning to therapy with a new T after months away from it. I am hopeful that this time therapy will be more helpful but my expectations are low. At least, it will be useful to talk to someone instead of keeping it all in myself.

This is great news. I know what you mean though about having low expectations of therapy. I think it’s maybe “safer” that way

I think, provided the therapist has basic respect and an ability to listen, it’s definitely useful to talk to someone instead of keeping it all in self

Fuzzybear · Oct 01, 2018, 10:40 PM

I’m sending hugs to anyone who needs or wants a hug

Oct 02, 2018, 11:02 PM

I woke up this morning feeling very depressed. Realizing that I only have one family member and one friend; and the both of them seem of sub-standard quality to me. My sister had called me on Sunday while I was out. She said that she was going to call back. She never did. And I had called her, but only left a message. This happens a lot with her as she either doesn't call back, falls asleep on me when I talk to her, or abruptly hangs up on me when her husband needs her to do something for him. And my friend, he has limits physically but also very critical and nit picky lots of times.

Things are going OK at work. Very slow every day practically. It makes the time go by slow and gives me time to think about myself, which that can get me into emotional trouble. But I'm thankful for the job I have.

It's this coming Saturday when I go on my trip. It will be about 1500 miles from home and going to a place I've never been to before. When I planned that trip, I was all excited. And after that I have some feelings of remorse. Am I out of my mind to do this? At least I got some comfort from other people. Some of them have done the same thing that I'm going to do; travel a fairly long distance away from home alone.

Oct 02, 2018, 11:58 PM

Distraught over what people have done to me. There is NO EXCUSE for it. How they live with themselves I'll never know. Will never understand. How am I supposed to live with what they've done to me?? WHY??? WHY TAKE SO MUCH AWAY FROM ME....WHY DID THEY DO IT???

connect.the.stars · Oct 03, 2018, 12:00 AM

I need to stop wallowing in self pity over my physical condition. It’s not like it is a permanent injury. I can still do simple activities and I should be actively reaching out to people rather than expecting them to check in on me.

zapatoes · Oct 03, 2018, 12:09 AM

Yes have sad times sometimes and sometimes do ok. Need counseling and yet apprehensive to go and yet willing to go. Need more sleep usually. Get some depressed thoughts sometimes and try to carry on and work, but hard to concentrate. It’s there in the background, the past bad experiences with bullying types at school, at work, moving around a lot as a kid and as an adult. It’s difficult yet interesting and educational to move around to different states and different countries.