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#626
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I wish people would not assume that depression is a choice!
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#627
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Well today is just buckets of joy
I have no fight, it took me nearly 6 hours to just crawl out of bed and go bathroom. Now I’m curled up on the couch writing this when i really have no energy to do so. Was staring blankly at the tv not really taking anything in. My thoughts are my enemy today. The main one... why bother fighting. Logically i know the answer today though that logic is buried deeper then ever. Apparently my mood is bad enough that my service dog has glued herself to me. Constant contact. It feels like when i was first diagnosed only worse. As if I haven’t taken my meds for months or they just randomly stopped working (yes this has happened) |
![]() Deilla, KYWoman, Sunflower123
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#628
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Big fat zero
__________________
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#629
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After family left, I spent the day relaxing. They weren't here long. I was glad. I really didn't have to see my brother in law. Everything seemed to work out okay. I'm going to focus on good thoughts now. Like how my project really came together today!
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‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Sunflower123
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#630
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This day was dreary and drab. Extremely so. Not in a good place emotionally.
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#631
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Quote:
I understand, I have had a similar experience today. No energy for anything, stayed in bed for hours, slept for over 14 and then when I did get up it was only to move to the chair in the living room. I'm about to go to bed again. |
![]() katydid777, Sunflower123
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#632
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stuffed myself silly yesterday
had southern fried chicken (or in other words a repeat of friday), with biscuits and a whole tub of candy didn't sleep, and it's now 6 23 and I'm wondering- anyone else up?. lol seriously though,, 6 23, on an english sunday morning, how many people are up at this time? imsomnia sucks |
![]() Deilla, katydid777, Sunflower123
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![]() Sunflower123
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#633
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I'm vastly better than I was. How I can experience such extreme mood change is beyond me. Saturday was a happy, productive day.
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![]() Deilla, katydid777, Sunflower123
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#634
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Quote:
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![]() katydid777
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#635
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Sorry to hear that. I seem to have that myself. It's strange how, on the weekends, I will be awake around 4 AM and have a tough time getting back to sleep. And I'd be wide awake around the time I would normally have to get up for work. I thought that the weekends are for sleeping in! |
![]() katydid777, Sunflower123
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#636
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Down today, trying to figure out how I will pay the extras. My wash/dry are both broken down, need front end alignment on my car, need wood splitter for our wood burning stoves for heat, over drafted at bank, and last but most home taxes. I have had a work truck up for sale in very good shape, done about 1 grand making it very dependable, ended up reducing the price by 1 grand, I have seen just the bed go for 500 more than what I am trying to get for the whole truck. I hope, and pray it will sell!!!
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![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Sunflower123
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#637
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Really restless tonight. I think it's the Prednisone. I will try to cuddle with my cat and see if I can fall asleep. Hopefully I can stay asleep.
__________________
‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Sunflower123
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#638
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I felt okay this morning but felt down after that. I'm not sure why.
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#639
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Today was a busy day for me. Did a little shopping in the early morning and made a batch of spaghetti sauce to last me for one dinner a week for a month. Went on a three hour bike ride. After that I got talking to my sister. It went OK. I felt like she got condescending to me about family, on how my nephew cares a lot about family, and it sounded like I don't care that much. I didn't care for that.
Also, I had found out (because I had called Security at where I work today) that there was a water leak (air conditioning leak) on a ceiling. It had happened last Friday night. I am filling in for the maintenance man while he's gone and I had never received a call about it. One of the guards forgot to call me at that time. I'm on call while the maintenance man is away. I really hate that position. When I talked to a guard today, he told me that it's under control and there's nothing to worry about. |
![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#640
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I don't know what to do about sleep. When I take Trazodone I sleep too much, and when I don't take it, I can't sleep. I am taking 25 mg which is half the lowest dose. I tried taking Melatonin tonight. Hopefully it will help.
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#641
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been having trouble. suicidal ideation. very tired. seems pointless.
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![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Rose76, Sunflower123
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#642
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I was meant to go out today (to do something for my inner child), butt circumstances mean I can't.
so at home just pretending to survive... eating stupid amounts of junkfood, watching programmes I don't wanna really watch, that kind of thing I also got a new book called the sisterhood. honestly I should start that at some point today, but I can't be bothered. |
![]() Deilla, Rose76, Sunflower123
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#643
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![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Sunflower123
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#644
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Had a very active day. Felt Okay for most of the day. I'm nervous about tomorrow. I have plans to leave my house. Will have to try some relaxation practices.
__________________
‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() Sunflower123
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#645
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From my patient portal it looks like I have depressive disorder. I feel like it’s more SAD then depressive disorder. I don’t think I’ve ever really discussed this before with a doctor. It’s more of a self diagnosis. Anyways, my depression hasn’t been too bad lately. Maybe because the anxiety has been more of a problem. The weather has been mild lately too. In the mid 50’s. I’m wearing my winter jacket so I haven’t been feeling the cold either. I’m having a lot of trouble getting up in the morning. Which is a common symptom of depression for me. So maybe I’m feeling it a bit.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Sunflower123
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#646
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Feeling better today.
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![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#647
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It was quite a day at work today. In the morning I had someone from the electrical and plumbing vendor that we have to look at a water leak that was around the air conditioning unit. The guy who came was very nice and fixed it up very well. Normally, I don't deal with stuff like that, but the maintenance man is out, so it's to me. I really hate being in that position.
After that some plumbers at a building next door needed to shut off the water and turn it back on. I was told to turn on all faucets before the water to be shut off. And I was told that they will contact me before they turn the water back on so that I can turn off the faucets. Well, they didn't tell me that they turned the water back on, so one area got flooded out. I was livid. So I and a couple of others had to work really hard to mop up the water. All of that would have been avoided had they communicated with me better! Other than that, it was a pretty good day. At least I had some energy to spare to work out. And that went well. |
![]() Deilla, Sunflower123
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#648
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This is my first time participating in Daily Check-in! I've been feeling a lot of ups and downs over this past week. I have a crush on my sons T and that excites me. I fantasize that he is attracted to me. It puts a smile on my face. Then I come to terms with the reality - that it is NOT reality! I am a stay at home wife and mother who has outgrown her role. My youngest child is 18. It's time for me to "get a life". Instead I stay stuck at home, revolving my life around everyone else in my house. Too afraid to have real friends. Oh, I'm just too busy taking care of everyone here to have time for real people!
Thank you for reading and for being here.. Cheeers |
![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Sunflower123
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![]() Sunflower123
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#649
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Anxiety and Derpession all rolled into one right now. Depression is 8/10. I feel sad and cruddy.
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![]() Anonymous445852, Deilla, Sunflower123
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#650
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In pain, but better. I'm feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. Feels like I will have no real "home" soon, and the reality of that possibly happening soon is giving me panic attacks.
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![]() Deilla, KYWoman, Sunflower123
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Closed Thread |
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