[Overcastbutclearing]

I decided to take a vacation from all my garbage in my head. Not sure how effective it will be. And I know I cannot do it long term...but for today and maybe continuing throught the weekend I am putting everything aside and stuffing back down deep so I can feel some type of relief and peace.
I just feel like the only way to get through my thoughts of wanting to "leave" is to go on a mental vacation.
Let's hope it works out!!

[Fuzzybear]

I hope your mental vacation works for you! I am keeping all four paws crossed and tying a knot in the bow on my fur...

Bearhugs,
Fuzzy

[__zh]

think we posted something similar once about wanting to dissociate from the dissociation or some other escape fantasy.

sounds like a great idea to send those idea and thoughts on a wknd vacation!! Maybe their luggage will get lost and they'll be delayed in returning?

sincerely hoping that you can find some moments to enjoy over the next couple days. watch movies that make you laugh. play with animals. go play arcade games somewhere. if you cook then make something you really enjoy having and do so w/o guilt, preseason is on which can be a few hours of mindless numbing television wise......

all those ideas just to say we hope you have some relief.

take care sweetie.

[LadyDragus]

I hope it works for you too..

Sorry I hve not been here but my hard drive crased on me..

Love to you ..

take care and giggle some....xoxo pat

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[sj}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
take care thinking of you

[Overcastbutclearing]

I pissed my T off.
Now I don't know what to do.
I so hate myself!

[__zh]

we don't hate you.

we think you're human and humans do things sometimes that seem like the end of the world when they're not.

what to do? stay safe. follow any lists of safe things to do while in a state such as you have described.

with continued belief in your ability to make moment to moment and then day to day and then beyond. for now stick to those moments. keep it simple sweetie. we had to when everything was emotionally crumbling around us

sorry this ain't easier sweetie.

(((sj)))

[Myzen]

Hi sj,

As we've mentioned before here on PC, it's not always possible to get completely away from the mental rubbish, but it is possible to stop paying so much attention to it.

I suffer from tinnitus, which is a noise in my head, and it's a physical problem with the eardrum. Over the years it had been possible to ignore it to the extent that I don't even think about it most of the time.

I also suffer from negative OCD thoughts, which are always waiting for me when I wake up in the mornings, and then come up again with triggers during the day. Slowly but surely I have been learning to ignore the thoughts. IMHO the secret here is to stop regarding the thoughts as 'special' to me in any way. They are not.

I have convinced myself that the thoughts are a condition of the illness and not some hurtful knowledge that I have about myself.

As soon as we stop believing the thoughts, they just become a kind of background noise and are no longer the representatives of some special truth about us. That's the key, putting the thoughts in perspective with the illness. It's probably one of the hardest things that a person can do, but it is achievable. I believe that.

Peaceful thoughts, M

[Fuzzybear]

((((( Myzen ))))) if ok

[Overcastbutclearing]

I am nervous about pissing off my T because I haven't heard back from her.
BUT, I am very much staying safe. In fact, I am having a good mental day.
I know she just is doing her best to help. Sometimes I am so unused to someone caring so much I just try to push them away to avoid hurt in the longrun.
I still am not pleased with who I am...
But, today I am not beating myself up!

[__zh]

Fantastic job on not beating yourself up today sj!!!!

The good thing about T's in that they are used to such things and generally deal with such as part of their jobs. Hard not to worry but there really isn't any need to.

It can be so weird to have people care when one is used to handling life solo. Many still use the 'I'll leave you first so you can't hurt me' coping mechanism. It is common. Takes time and practice to allow yourself to let people care about you w/o feeling like you have to push them away or run away yourself.

We're pleased you are a work in progress so even if you're not happy with who you are right now you're working very hard at becoming the person you want to be. Good for you for taking action and doing the work!!