[Rose76]

Not doing too well. I haven't even brushed my teeth today.

If I ever get to where I can focus on my own wellbeing, I will have a lot of self-rehabilitating to do.

The past week has been difficult beyond words.

I'm severely depressed and I know my whole being is wrong. I don't belong anywhere or with anyone.

I can't sleep. I'm completely ruined. I was born on another planet.

I feel really depressed and I have nothing to do.

and as a result today is going so slowly

[jmariah001]

I have been going down hill since my cat Sneakers passed last month. My sleep has increased a lot and I am not eating much. I have flash backs of that day. At lest I am not crying right now. He was only 6. He had FIV so I knew that it was a possibility that he would not live long. But still. It still hurts. I had a dream last night he was in it. Then I woke up and it was back to reality. Another thing that is happening is my Grandma is dying of cancer. I am already depressed. What will happen when she goes? I am afraid I will lose it. I know things will get better. But until then I just have to hold on.

[Rose76]

Still down and barely keeping up with what has to be attended to. Trying a new recipe later for supper. That always makes me nervous.

I better check out YouTube for teriyaki chicken thighs. If I get a good meal together for my bf and me, we'll both feel a lot better. He's eased up on me and I am trying to get over our recent squabble. The last 2 months were trying we got overwhelmed. He's on a break now from his cancer treatment and feels better than he did. I've paused going for more consults and procedures for a while. All these specialties line up for their slice of the Medicare pie. A lot of it is unnecessary.

It's been very crazy within the last few days for me. Especially from Wednesday to today. I spent all day Wednesday and Thursday moving. I've unpacked everything yesterday, but there's still a lot of items not stored away properly. Aside from the moving and unpacking, I was spending a lot of time on the phone for various things. I'm just beat right now. Also I feel very out of sorts being in my new place. It's a weird and funky feeling.

Today was a little easier, but still chaotic. I was told by the Escrow company that I would receive my check for the sale of my condo unit. But also, once I received the check, I promised my sister I would help her out a little bit. It turned out that I received my check at 1PM today. But then there were snags as the full amount on the check could not be deposited for about a week. That meant that there wouldn't be enough money to send to my sister that she needs right now. But then, I had to go in between two banks to get that straightened out. It got all straightened out!

Since there were some snags today, I didn't get things done the way I had planned. But there's still all day tomorrow and Sunday to do that. Also, I took a bike ride in my new area for the first time. It felt very different than other place.

[LifelongLoner]

Every Saturday I am in a funk and accomplish nothing. I know that I don't like being me and I seem to enjoy very little. My body really lets me down. I am injury prone and cannot play sports due to bad feet and other chronic injuries. So, I don't know what to do with myself. I have always had a hard time making friends and don't think that I am any fun. So, I isolate. People have treated me badly for years. Therapy has been disastrous. Often, I end up worse.

It's a beautiful day outside and I can't motivate myself to get dressed. I don't know what to do about it.

[Sam Vimes]

I forced myself to go to an event and ended up in a car accident. Low speed, but the airbag went off and it will take at least my $1k deductible to fix.

My income just got cut in half so that means I am screwed.

I want to cry but I tend not to cry unless death is involved.

Today I didn't have to move back-and-fourth between the place I left and where I am now, so that was nice. Spent the morning doing laundry and picking up stuff from the floor to put those items elsewhere. I'm feeling sad about having to go back to work on Monday, even though it's a bit of a ways off; and being at work is much easier than what I was doing this week. I wish that Memorial Day would be this Monday, but it least it will come next week.

I still feel like I'm in a funk and not feeling like my old self since I moved in here. Today, while shopping, I got upset when I saw Paramedics tending to an elderly man who was parked in a handicap spot. Whenever I see stuff like that, I think to myself that I could be next!

Fortunately, I found an article on a web site about depression and moving into a new place. It made sense to me why I'm feeling that way. But the advice from the article made me feel not so good. It made me feel better with reading the comments after the article.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by jmariah001

I have been going down hill since my cat Sneakers passed last month. My sleep has increased a lot and I am not eating much. I have flash backs of that day. At lest I am not crying right now. He was only 6. He had FIV so I knew that it was a possibility that he would not live long. But still. It still hurts. I had a dream last night he was in it. Then I woke up and it was back to reality. Another thing that is happening is my Grandma is dying of cancer. I am already depressed. What will happen when she goes? I am afraid I will lose it. I know things will get better. But until then I just have to hold on.

Losing a pet you've loved is very hard. A pet accepts you and wants to be with you. It really is a kind of love, I believe. I went through it when my dog died of cancer. I would dream of her, like you describe, and waking up was like getting hit with ice water. Time does heal, but that can be a while. In the meantime, some days are worse than others.

It's too bad that now you have another loss coming soon. Your grief does honor to your grandma and to your pet. They mattered . . . a lot. They deserve to be mourned. That is part of the tribute you pay them for what they gave you.

The mind can't think about two things at the same time . . . not really. Allow yourself periods of mourning. That can be part of your day. But do other things. Grief can be crowded out when we take care of other responsibilities. Life can become interesting again.

Today, I would say, is the easiest day for me in the last eight days. It was nice to not have anything lined up to go to. I finally finished putting stuff away and now everything is set up in my new place.

It rained for most of the day today. I spent the whole morning cleaning my place, but very lightly. I didn't make much of a mess in only three days.

Feeling anxious and sad about having to go back to work tomorrow. I wish that I had tomorrow off. That would be all I would need. I'm starting to feel more like at home now. I have been comparing the new place to the old one. So much better than the old place!

[Rose76]

I have no will to keep up with things.

[Rose76]

I got over a hump and I'm fairly okay at the moment. Hope I can build on this and catch up on things.

[Spirit of Trees]

Nothing bad happened, but I've gone numb again. My life is about going through the motions and thinking about the motions I'll have to go through tomorrow.

[3rd rock]

I'm very tired and defeated.

[Sam Vimes]

My car was destroyed this weekend. I was going to an alumni event at my school. It was a steep road. Someone stopped suddenly. I stopped, but the tires didn't bite, the airbag went off, and now I am told it's a total loss. My boss is having me turn in a key for work, and I feel horrible inside. I keep saying something bad to myself, but I think it means I want my life to change. Just wish I knew how to.

I'm getting back in the swing of things now. It's the second day of being back at my job since my move. I still make some errors in getting to work with turning at the wrong streets on the way in.

I feel pretty lonely at my place. At least the people at where I live have been pretty nice, but I'm not connecting. I felt very lonely at the last place, too. But at the last place I came across a lot of bad people.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling depressed and all alone today. I hope it passes soon.

Warm wishes to everybody.

[zapatoes]

Tired today and sad since didn’t do as well at work today, and yesterday was excited to get some things done. The sadness or depression is creeping up maybe since almost 1 year since dad passed away. It’s been a rough couple of years.

[Spirit of Trees]

My emotional numbness dissipated, so I'm feeling alright now.

[Rose76]

Not awful, but not real good.

Originally Posted by Rose76

Not awful, but not real good.

Same here. Hugs.

[Yzen]

Hugs to all of you. I hope things get better.