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#101
day 3 of feeling completely void of emotion
and that's all their is to say |
Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#102
Sadness, dread and lonely.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,706
11 1,218 hugs
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#103
I talked to my friend last night and felt like it didn't go very well. I was upset because of not getting hot water for a shower. It was one more thing going wrong at where I live, you know, that place I want to leave. I felt like he was not helpful. I didn't sleep well last night because I felt clammy and cold. I was scared that I was going to get sick.
I didn't feel good emotionally when I got this morning. Fortunately I didn't get sick. Had cereal for breakfast, which was fine. And then I washed the dishes and got hot water. So I decided to shower this morning. I rarely ever shower in the morning. I shower at night always. It felt nice after the shower but it was real cold and damp in my place. Left for work a little later than usual. Got to a busy intersection where the traffic light didn't work, so it backed up traffic. I was 15 minutes late getting into work. I would have been on time or just a couple of minutes late if it were not for that intersection. |
Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
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#104
Got to push myself and get things done.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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LifelongLoner
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#105
I bought a giant SAD lamp from a garage sale a couple years ago for $5. The thing was probably $50-$100 new. So it was a steal. After a rough morning I used it today for 25 minutes. It worked ok. I wish these things gave off heat as well though.
__________________ I'm Blue |
Deilla, Sunflower123
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Moderator
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Location: New Jersey
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#106
Wasn't too depressed today but was kind of numb.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
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#107
I don't feel depressed, but I'm not doing well. I'm wasting time. I got nothing done yesterday that I should have. I'm disorganized and go through the day with no plan and no system for accomplishing anything.
So I guess I should make a plan for today. That sounds straightforward. I feel overwhelmed when there's really no good reason for that. |
Deilla, LifelongLoner, Sunflower123
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: West US
Posts: 261
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#108
Rough week...I want to disappear....
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,423
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#109
I'm bored and sleepy. Nothing else to do but sleep. Sleep is all there is.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
LifelongLoner, Sunflower123
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Location: Cave.
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#110
Hugs to all
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Sunflower123
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Colorado
Posts: 125
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#111
Exhausted. Back to work after surgery. 9 hour day with a 2 hour commute each way due to snow and traffic. Not depressed, not happy.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
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#112
Depressed today.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#113
I'm awake today. Busy doing chores. Going to relax now. Maybe color. I feel lonely and blue.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Sunflower123
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#114
I showered today and listened to some good music.
mood not much better though- not really at a level where I notice a diffrence still feels like I'm just going through them otions |
Deilla, Rose76, Sunflower123
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Legendary
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#115
I improved a lot yesterday. I got stuff done. Today I want to take it easy.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Wonderland-Everyoneland
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#116
I cleaned my room. I don't feel as bad as before, but I get a weird feeling.
Possible trigger:
__________________ Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,617
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#117
I did just about nothing today. I just failed to even start.
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Deilla, OliverB, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
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#118
It was a long draggy day at work with not much going on. This morning at work I got talking to a guy who lives near me. I told him that I wanted to sell my place. He was telling me that I shouldn't. He was going into reasons why I shouldn't and then his cell phone went off. He told me to hold on and wait for him. He talked on the cell phone for a while and I told him I had to go. Just as well because I didn't want to argue with him.
Feeling kind of blue tonight. I plan to look a place tomorrow. This will be the first place to look at. |
Deilla, LifelongLoner, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#119
Feeling all alone, anxious and restless. I think I need more sleep and some meditation.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Sunflower123
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Legendary
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Location: USA
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#120
I've been awake for a few hours.
After having a good day Thursday, I fell into a pit on Friday. Thursday I was up and about, getting things done. I felt cheerful and glad to be busy. Friday was a wasted day, spent mostly on the couch. I don't want today to be another wasted day. I have important things to do in the upcoming week to qualify my bf for some of his benefits. There is paperwork I have to get together for these matters. I hope I can find what I need. I'm very, very disorganized in the paperwork department. This causes me awful anxiety. Then I get depressed. It's been a miserable night. Worry, worry. |
Deilla, LifelongLoner, Sunflower123
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