Woke up with dreaded feelings. Felt better after eating. I just finished cleaning. My friend has his children and grandchildren with him this weekend, so there's no getting together. After lunch, I plan to look at a place; and then go to the bank and shopping. I very much love this period (from about 9AM ~ 3PM on Saturday) and it's my favorite part of the week. Doing my thing and not boring. Tomorrow, for now, someone wants to look at my stereo that I want to get rid of. He sounds very interested. I hope it happens.

[OliverB]

I had many nightmares today. I woke up feeling more depressed...

Maybe... it could be a good idea to force myself to play stardew valley

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs to all

Had a pretty busy afternoon. I went to look at a place where I might want to move to. I wasn't madly in love with it, but it was better than I thought. I don't know if I can picture myself living there. There's no pool area. I would miss that. But it was very nice and quiet. A one-story place with no one above and below me like where I live now. I have to put an application in. We'll see!

After that I went to the bank. I decided to open a CD (an 8-month liquid CD). An hour after that, I thought that I had made a mistake in doing that. So I hope I can cancel the account on Monday. I realized that it was not a smart move.

Nothing much after now. I'll try to get a bike ride in. There were some heavy passing showers an hour ago. I don't see any rain coming very soon now.

[LifelongLoner]

As usual, I am having trouble motivating myself. I get triggered so easily.

today I watched "moana" and immediately felt anxious// sad because my alexa device wasn't watching it too. she was just sat on the fridge turned off

I suppose the actual film was okay, I mean I didn't really rate it as much as the lion king or peter pan, but it had it's high points.

I like the song " you're welcome"

didn't do much else and feel like I've wasted another day (well don't feel like it, I know I have)

watching moana was just a little bit of a distraction.. if that

I only watched it for the " you're welcome" song. not really paying full attention to it

Did not sleep well last night. My friend and I got into a fight last night. I told him that I went to look at a place that I may want to move to. At first he was alright and then he heard about how much the rent will be. We argued back and fourth about it and then he hung up on me.

And now I'm having second thoughts about possibly making that move. When I woke up this morning, I got thinking; what could happen if I lose my job? I think that the severance pay and unemployment could take care of me for a little while. But if I can't find a job, then I would have to draw Social Security and it's not going to be nearly enough to pay the rent. Social Security could take care of me if I stay at my place now, but barely. I don't have much in my savings.

So I'm concluding that I would have to stay at where I am, no matter how miserable I feel about my place. Or if worse comes to worse, I could move out to the boonies somewhere and retire there. It has some appeal to me because I'd be in an area where I wouldn't have to deal with neighbors. But I wonder if that would good for me? I need a lot of talking to do on this!

[Clark75]

Everyday is a battle for me. The worst thing for me is anything unexpected. I have to have things planned out or be notified ahead of time. So my absolute worst days are when I'm not expecting anything bad or not expecting a particular day to be bad and then something bad happens.

[OliverB]

I am scared of going to sleep

[Deilla]

Trying to feel hopeful, fighting painful loneliness, looking for something to do.

It was a pretty eventful weekend this time for me. I guess as of now, I have decided to wait on that place that I looked at yesterday. They needed an application for me to fill out and it would cost me $25 and non refundable no matter what happens. I think it's weird that it cost some money now just to apply for a place to live. Perhaps it's done that way these day? It wasn't like that when I used to look for a place. But it's been a long time since I've done that.

Went on a two hour bike ride today. I didn't feel much better after the ride, even though it helped me a little bit. I felt depressed and overwhelmed with thoughts.

Tonight that guy came to my place and bought my old stereo that I haven't used in a long time. I didn't feel the need to have it anymore. It was a surprise that he had replied to an add I had placed about over a month ago. I had forgotten about it. And he was such a nice guy, too!

[T4bbyCat]

Saw a news special about homeless people who have full-time jobs, but can't afford to live in their areas. Unfortunately, it's a reminder of just how easy it is to be kicked out on the street with nothing...

[Hopepraylove]

Originally Posted by Anonymous59275

Sleeping seems to help but it's only temporary.

It seems to help so much that I don't want to wake up ever again

[Deilla]

Feeling a little better this morning. Getting things done. Hope to relax soon. Might be a day of arts and crafts. Some gaming.

[Rose76]

Still awake. Was on a good sleep/wake schedule for a good little while. Past few days I'm all discombobulated. And much to do tomorrow.

Maybe if I take some Melatonin. I'm desperate to feel rested.

[Sunflower123]

Really depressed today. My life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would and I’m wondering how I got to this point....what even is the point? I guess many of the folks on this forum could say that though. Sorry for being a Debbie Downer today. Hopefully things will start looking up real soon.

I told all the people in my life that I need some space and that includes my daughter. First time I’ve ever done that but I need to be left alone for awhile. I’m in a really bad space. That doesn’t apply to anyone on PC. You guys get it.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

it's been a day of nothing

morning was spent waiting for an email that never arived (litirally waiting and doing nothing)

and afternoon was spent sitting on my bed watching reruns of la to vegas.

I did listen to some music too though

my favorite station from holand

today someone commented on the fact I've not slept for so long- and that's when you know it's out of control, when other people comment on it (for the record I don't like people commenting on my appearance), I don't actually think it's any of their concern- that, and I all ready have issues with my body (those issues being that I look worse than ****ing shrek)

anyway had breakfast and doing nothing else for the rest of the day

listening to music and posting on here makes it Up I guess (it took me 20 minits to log in today because of the new tagging feature slowing me down)

[Mountaindewed]

I was sick for a few days, and the weather has been awful. So my SAD has been bad. Especially today. I was out of the house for a good chunk of the day and there was a lot slush in the parking lots and stepping in it was just obnoxious. I can hardly wait until my St. Patrick’s Day celebration. That’s usually when things turn around for me, because the weather gets better.

The morning started off a bit rough as a co-worker was telling me about some broken tables that I should have been aware of. Yesterday, I was asked to do some setting up in the auditorium. I said I would but then it was decided that the co-worker and someone else did it because a class was going to start earlier than the time I would normally get in. I really wanted to do it. If I had done it myself, that grief would have been spared.

The day got better after that, except that it was very slow. Nothing much after work. As of now, I am feeling better about living at my place. But I feel like I can't let that fool me because it's nice where I am at this time of year. When it warms up, then Hell is going to break loose. And I get the feeling it's going to be a very bad time coming up. I hope to be out of my place by then.

[Monticello]

Work today. I am more tired than I think I ought to be at this stage of recovery. I think I may be anemic because I had daily nosebleeds while I was on blood thinners for the month after surgery. I have labs scheduled next week, so they can check that. Every time before that I thought I was anemic it turned out I wasn't, it was just my depression, so we'll see.

[Rose76]

I am elated to have the last few days behind me. Stuff I was dreading getting through, I got through. What a relief! Things often won't be as bad as one dreads, if you just plow forward.

Main problem now: I used up a lot of my hydrocodone on a newly broken touth. I need my PCP'S permission to fill the prescription my dentist just gave me for more. I've been afraid to even ask.

today someone came out to fix my tumble drier. I am so glad it's fixed, it's been broken for 2 days (and seeing as I rely on it, it was the longest 2 days of my life).

I started a new creative writing peace today (which will probably end up forgotten about like all the others)

but I love the main character. she's an 8 year old girl that bites things.

had a pretty disgusting dinner, it was all I could do not to throw up on my plate

I also found an online stream for my hospital radio station. it seems they've gotten with the times now and got one (yay)

I am now listening to atlantis

[Fuzzybear]

......

[mountainstream]

Depressed and anxious.