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  #176  
Old Feb 19, 2019, 08:17 PM
Anonymous41141
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Feeling depressed today and now. After work, I had skin cancer removal. I was not looking forward to it. The procedure was not bad but it's the restrictions and care for it that's the worst. I can't go to the pool area and take any baths for two weeks now. I can shower, but that's it.
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  #177  
Old Feb 20, 2019, 12:43 AM
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The day was alright . . . until I got mad little while ago. I could use a little consideration at home from my bf.
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  #178  
Old Feb 20, 2019, 04:42 PM
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88Butterfly88 88Butterfly88 is offline
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My depression was manageable today.
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  #179  
Old Feb 20, 2019, 06:02 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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Started new drug therapy. Noticing much less pain, calmer, happier and more energetic. Feeling optimistic. Looking forward to tomorrow. Been years since I've said that.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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Thanks for this!
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  #180  
Old Feb 20, 2019, 11:15 PM
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Monticello Monticello is offline
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Got bad news at work today. While I haven't been laid off (which would have been the third time in less than two years) I am being moved to a workplace a 90 minute drive from my house. It has triggered some depression, just when I was feeling better.
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  #181  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 09:51 AM
Anonymous32451
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I don't really know how i'm doing, seeing as for a lot of today (and actually for a lot of the week) diffrent alters have been taking over

in this exact moment though I'm feeling sad and like I want to

Possible trigger:


I havont, don't worry, but it's tempting
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  #182  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 09:55 AM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
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These two days have been really bad days.

Restricting food intake makes me feel more in control of my emotions, I don't know if it is because I was eating too much before or if it is an abnormal way of coping. I don't count calories or anything, I just eat as little as I am able to.
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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  #183  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 08:26 PM
Anonymous41141
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Feeling down and anxious for the whole day. It seemed like it wasn't busy at work, until the last hour. Also I feel like I had created an enemy at my job. I don't know what came over me to allow that to happen. On the other hand, it was someone I was never that crazy about all along.

I guess I'm having exercising withdrawals. And now since I got that skin cancer surgery, I'm limited to what I could do. I can go bike riding, but I haven't been able to because of a lot of rain that we've been getting.

Lately I have been feeling unhappy about where I live and where I work now. Maybe I'll feel better later on.
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  #184  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 09:35 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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My depression hasn’t been too bad. I can really sense that spring is on its way. I had a lot of anxiety provoking situations taken care of. That all ended up turning out fine. I have definite vacation plans set up. Things are actually going good for the first time since Christmas.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
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  #185  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 10:09 PM
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Monticello Monticello is offline
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I feel better today. There are a few things I can do to make my upcoming work change better and it doesn't start until May. Driving to Utah tomorrow with my son for a long weekend.
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  #186  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 03:55 AM
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I haven't had the hopelessness for a while now so I think I'm progressing. A day at a time.
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  #187  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 10:19 AM
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I saw my psychiatrist again today.

He told I could try to take a bit of Concerta to boost my mind because I was spending almost all day in bed...

I have done a lot of things I had to (phone calls, emails, college quizzes...)

I still feell like **it, but I have a ton of energy.

Possible trigger:
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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  #188  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 02:46 PM
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Just woke up from a nap. I feel so stressed.
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  #189  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 04:33 PM
Anonymous32451
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not really felt anything todag

going through the motions I guess

someone's gotta do it
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  #190  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 07:44 PM
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88Butterfly88 88Butterfly88 is offline
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Only a tad depressed today, can't complain.
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  #191  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 10:24 PM
Angela8 Angela8 is offline
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It's like it was several different days today, mood-wise.
I feel ok now, but earlier I was so depressed and really spacing out a lot. Worried about driving when I'm like that.
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  #192  
Old Feb 22, 2019, 11:48 PM
Anonymous41141
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I had some weird dreams last night, and then felt very depressed when I got out of bed. Lately it seems like it takes effort to get out of bed. I used to just spring out of bed. It's a wonder that I have breakfast and get to work on time!

Had a lot of anxiety at work this morning for no real good reason. Well, I guess there was a reason. I had to set up the auditorium for a meeting all week in which over a 100 were going to attend. That's the highest number of people ever in one sitting in the auditorium! And with tables and chairs; which made it a tall order. I did it, but later got a little help because other people in other areas at where I work scrounged up more tables. I really appreciated the help I got, but felt guilty that I couldn't do it all myself. In all of the years in setting up the auditorium that I have done, I have never encountered anything like that.

I felt better in the afternoon. I felt like my depression had been lifted. But I'm still feeling weird.
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  #193  
Old Feb 23, 2019, 12:19 AM
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I don't feel good. I had a second glass of wine with dinner that didn't agree with me. Friday was a day I just felt bad.
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  #194  
Old Feb 23, 2019, 05:25 AM
Anonymous32451
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feel like crap and certainly won't be doing much.

I am having takeout tonight though
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  #195  
Old Feb 23, 2019, 01:36 PM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
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Tired of depression
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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  #196  
Old Feb 23, 2019, 10:50 PM
Anonymous41141
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A lot to do today. Did my housecleaning and went to visit my friend in the mid morning. His wife was out, so it made it easier for me to be there. I'm feeling like I'm not that crazy about him. I guess I never was, but he is all that I have. That's probably the only reason I like him.

I went to Rental Agency place after seeing him but they were closed. I was surprised because they said that they'd be open until 1PM. I got there at 12:20. Oh well. Went shopping after that and did my laundry. I got so much done today. But feeling very blah emotionally the whole day.
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  #197  
Old Feb 23, 2019, 11:30 PM
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Monticello Monticello is offline
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I had a great day, driving home from Utah through southern Colorado. there was 2 to 3 feet of fresh snow on the ground and blue skies the whole way. It was spectacular. But I am pretty tired now.
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  #198  
Old Feb 24, 2019, 09:40 AM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
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Tired tired tired tired tired...

Even if I have taken my methylphenidate
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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3rd rock, Sunflower123
  #199  
Old Feb 24, 2019, 11:43 AM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
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I feel awful.

The stimulant is making me stay awake but I don't feel better.

It's easier to feel like **it while staying in bed than being moving around. It's tortuous, at least when I am tired I don't think too much. I don't know if it is a good idea.

Being awake and energetic is making me think more, and those thoughts are not exactly happy ones.
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
Hugs from:
3rd rock, Sunflower123
  #200  
Old Feb 24, 2019, 11:50 AM
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mountainstream mountainstream is offline
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Depressed.
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