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#201
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Feeling like giving up
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() 3rd rock, Rose76, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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#202
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Woke up feeling yucky. Did little odds & ends things this morning. Went for a two-hour bike ride. A sunny, cool, and crisp kind of day which was very ideal for me. Nothing much else to report about.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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#203
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Feeling isolated, thanks to having isolated myself. Couldn't stand to be around people.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#204
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Ok weekend and made myself get out yesterday to be somewhat social at a meetup, then went grocery shopping and walked my dog. Today just did laundry, walked my dog, watched a funny show and favorite cooking show and ate leftovers for early dinner.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#205
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Woke up. Took a coffee while in bed. Took my methylphenidate.
I am active, not thinking too much about depression. Had breakfast with my friend and her boyfriend. My dog is falling asleep, but I want her to be awake until I left to college, so she will sleep while I am not at home.
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#206
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This weather sucks. I’m trying to make the best of it though. The 10 day forecast doesn’t look very promising though. My mom reminded me of the phrase “March comes in like a lion and comes out like a lamb.” I kind of wish it was the other way around so I’d at least have a couple weeks of relief.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#207
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Sat. was a good day. I got stuff done. That is the best antidepressant for me - being able to feel satisfied that I spent my day well. Then I spent Sun. "resting on my laurels" of satisfaction from the day before and didn't do much. Today, while the attendant was here, I scarcely got out of bed. Whenever I have a good, productive day, I tend to follow it with a lazy day. Can't seem to sustain the momentum.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#208
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Felt pretty yucky today at work. Nothing bad happened. It's just that I was feeling bad. I don't know what's wrong. Spent some time reading about how bleak things are out there and I'm feeling like I don't have much to look forward to.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#209
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I think my body is self destructing. Meh.
I woke up feeling down. Took methylphenidate and feel better.
Possible trigger:
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#210
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I'm tired. Not really depressed. But weary of the way my life is.
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![]() 3rd rock, OliverB, Sunflower123
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#211
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Feeling better today. Was pretty busy at work. There are times when I get the feeling that the good feeling I'm having now will end soon. I always feel that way.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#212
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I had to cancel my dentist appointment Tuesday morning to take my bf to a cardiology evaluation. Later this morning, Wed., I will get to my dentist. Then I have to take my bf back to hospital for another heart test and an Xray. I'm drinking Alka-Seltzer now at 4 a.m. because I'm queazy from the slightly too big glass of wine I had with dinner. That seems to be the one bright spot in my daily routine - dinner and a glass of wine. I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels. My bf goes from one health crisis to the next. It's unrelenting. I feel consumed.
I'm not really depressed, which is good. I just feel spent. |
![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#213
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Depressed....
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#214
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Possible trigger:
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#215
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Doing okay today. Missing a friend who had their account deleted due to the negativity (doctor bashing, bullying etc.) on the forum. They were such a positive ray of sunshine and so supportive. I miss them greatly.
Warm wishes to all. ![]() |
![]() 3rd rock, Fuzzybear, OliverB
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#216
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Tired....
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![]() 3rd rock, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123
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#217
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Muzzled sad and horrible
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#218
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I was feeling pretty good on Tuesday & Wednesday. Today, not so much. I knew that would happen, that the good feeling would end. Was not to busy at work today. It had been very busy in the last couple of days. But it was fairly good emotionally at work. Except that I got an email saying that there's going to be a meeting by phone by my managers with me and the maintenance man. I'm not looking forward to it. I hate those meetings. It ruined my day when I got that message. Also my friend is sick with a cold now, so we can't talk. We only talked briefly last night. Funny thing is that he preaches to me to get a flu shot and I never got one. He gets a shot all of the time and now he's sick!
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#219
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I just came down with the flu for the second time this season. I am at work in my cubicle hoping to God that I make it through the day. I suppose, on the positive side, I am too focused on that that I am distracted from my depression. I also have a TMS treatment this afternoon, and I hope that the achiness from the flu doesn't make the magnetic pulses even more uncomfortable than they already are.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#220
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I’m saddened by the cruelty in the world.
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![]() 3rd rock, Sunflower123
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#221
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Sleep paralysis is killing me
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Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
![]() Deilla, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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#222
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Feeling lonely tonight. I had a difficult day. I did a lot of sleeping. Looks like I'll be going to bed early. Don't know what else to do. I don't feel well emotionally.
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‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() OliverB, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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#223
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Feeling better this morning. I'm staying busy and I'm doing fun things. I guess the sleep help reset me.
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‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
![]() OliverB, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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#224
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Having a low motivation/low energy day but am not noticeably depressed. Snuggled up on the couch with my pets watching a movie. Will try to be more productive tomorrow.
I am going to travel part way to my daughter’s college to have lunch with her tomorrow. Looking forward to that. Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Saturday. ![]() |
![]() OliverB, T4bbyCat
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#225
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A typical Saturday. I did my housecleaning and shopping. My friend had mentioned last night that he was going with his wife to shop at a store near me. I told him that he could stop over to my place. He never showed up.
Maybe it was just as well as I had planned to visit a rental agency this morning. If my friend had shown up, then I wouldn't have made the time to visit that office. I visited the office this morning and spoke to a woman who was very nice and helpful to me. Though there was not a good match for me, she encouraged me to keep trying. She said that it could get better in the coming weeks. I hope so. It was nice being able to just drop in and talk because practically all other rental agency offices are closed on Saturdays. My sister called me this afternoon. Normally we don't talk on Saturdays. She had something planned for tomorrow. Our conversation went well until she had to drop a bomb by saying that she's hoping I would come and visit them. I never wanted to do that. And then she was saying how her daughter is upset because my brother and I haven't come to visit. Feeling a bit down now because of my activities are over now. The weather here has been cloudy, windy, rainy, and cold. I just got a movie tonight and that's it. |
![]() OliverB, Sunflower123, T4bbyCat
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