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  #426  
Old Apr 25, 2019, 11:44 AM
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My darling, you look wonderful tonight
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  #427  
Old Apr 25, 2019, 06:31 PM
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Sad.
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  #428  
Old Apr 25, 2019, 10:50 PM
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Another draggy day at work. Took a bike ride afterwards. Tonight I went to the pool area and it was not good for the first time in a while. Just like the way it was in the old days. Well, at least when it's not good, it reminds me of what I'm leaving behind.
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  #429  
Old Apr 26, 2019, 02:56 AM
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I'm doing better. Thursday was a good day. I got a lot straightened out.
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  #430  
Old Apr 26, 2019, 03:56 AM
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Worried about my new cat. She was just spayed. She doesn't seem to feel well. She has one more day of pain meds. I am tired after a busy week. I feel relatively Okay. Will try to rest mostly today.
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  #431  
Old Apr 26, 2019, 02:34 PM
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Hugs and love to all
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  #432  
Old Apr 26, 2019, 10:51 PM
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Hugs and love to all
Hugs and love to you and everyone else on this thread.
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  #433  
Old Apr 27, 2019, 02:44 PM
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Very sad and tired.
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  #434  
Old Apr 27, 2019, 04:19 PM
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Fairly busy today. I got up real early and got started very early with the cleaning and stuff. I emailed my friend early this morning to ask him to come and visit me; and then I told him that it may be his last chance to see my place before I move. I got a message back from him saying that I haven't spoken to him for a while about my move, and that he wished that I had consulted with him with the transactions. Why should I do that? It's my decision and he's all against the move. So he wouldn't have been any help.

Also this morning, for a while, my kitchen faucet had no water coming out. Everything else was working. I fiddled around with the faucet but no improvement. But a little bit later on, the faucet was working. So that little area, somehow, got shut off. That was weird!

I came back from shopping and got a message on my Voice Mail from my sister. She had called just minutes after I had left to go shopping. I called back, which was about two hours after she had called me. She said that she just sat down at a place to eat, so we couldn't talk. I guess we'll try later but it seems like I always get rejected whenever I call her. She wonders why I never want to visit her.

Feel down now that the activities for the day are over, except for the bike riding later on and watching a movie tonight. Also I'm feeling like there are things coming up to dread.
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  #435  
Old Apr 28, 2019, 07:25 PM
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Today was a busier day than I expected. But it was a pretty positive kind of day, which was nice. I spoke to my sister a couple of times and she sold her house. So we're both very happy about it. It had been a real struggle for her for a while.

Went on a three hour bike ride today. It was a nice day to do it.

I spoke to my friend for a little bit today. We didn't talk about me moving. We might tonight, but I would prefer not to talk about it if he is going to be negative.
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  #436  
Old Apr 29, 2019, 06:26 PM
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My depression sucks but I don’t let it control me. I just threw myself into my job today and worked so hard I got a compliment from the manager. One day at a time.
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  #437  
Old Apr 29, 2019, 07:29 PM
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My depression sucks but I don’t let it control me. I just threw myself into my job today and worked so hard I got a compliment from the manager. One day at a time.
Good for you!
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  #438  
Old May 01, 2019, 06:30 PM
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I’m really struggling today. I didn’t have work today so I just tried dealing with it by looking at all the stuff I have planned this summer and reminding myself of all the stuff I ordered last week that I’m looking forward to receiving.
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  #439  
Old May 02, 2019, 01:24 AM
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I'm fairly okay. But biggest problem is morning sleepiness. It takes me hours to really wake up. Then I don't have enough time to get stuff done.
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  #440  
Old May 02, 2019, 04:14 PM
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I'm deep in a funk.

I better get up and function.
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  #441  
Old May 02, 2019, 09:52 PM
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I'm ok today, but I feel invisible. I guess that isn't the worst feeling.
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  #442  
Old May 02, 2019, 11:00 PM
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It has been a while since I've posted on here. I have been very busy. At work, it's picking up. It's getting busier at work lately and it's a nice thing for me. Also there's been a lot going on in the home front.

I have sold my place and will be moving in 13 days from now. At the same time, my sister sold her house. She and live at the opposite coasts. I'm getting excited about the move.
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  #443  
Old May 03, 2019, 12:39 PM
Sam Vimes Sam Vimes is offline
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Doing a bit better than a few weeks ago when I first signed up here. My church is helping me to find a therapist at a local clinic, and I have done intake and go in for an assessment next week. I have admitted to everyone that I think I am going through depression, and people have been kind and sympathetic about it. I also have been to two NAMI meetings now.

My boss came down on me hard this week, so I am not sure if I am about to lose my job or not, but at least the pressure is easing on me.

I have a long way to go, but I think I have seen the bottom of my depression. Let's hope.
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  #444  
Old May 03, 2019, 11:30 PM
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Things are picking up at work now. Perhaps this is a season for making a lot of orders, so that keeps me busy and off thinking about myself.

It slowed down this afternoon, but it was a good time to catch up on things. For an hour I did some "telemarketing" - making calls for utility, phone, internet, and waste management to set a date to disconnect where I am now and get new service to where I'm going. It was very draining but at least the customer services were nice.

Went bike riding after work and went to the pool area after dinner. For the first time in a while there were not anybody there, which was nice.
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  #445  
Old May 04, 2019, 08:56 AM
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WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
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Feeling emotionally challenged. A lot of "Should" thinking is entering my head and voice. I feel like I have been letting everyone down because I should have done, this I should have done that, I could have said this and so on. I feel overwhelmed particularly with thoughts I am worthless. I am not being very compassionate and gentle to myself. I know I don't have to do it all and be it all but I feel I should and consequently feel like I may not passing muster and am failing a lot.

I am also dreading things to come - even those that ought to be providing me some joyful anticipation. An upcoming camping road trip which I've mentioned before is causing distress and sadness. I fear it being a disasterous let down. A concert is coming up and I feel no sense of anything about it. I should be looking forward to that too but I sense no excitement or joy. Additional events I would normally look forward to for the spring and summer are now being publicised. No excitement has been generated. As I sign up for these things or tell my boyfriend they would be nice I guess to go to I am feeling instead that I am just going through the motions and saying what I ought to say.

This sadness is taking a grip. I fear this a great deal. I don't want to spend another summer watching it unfold through a psych ward window.
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  #446  
Old May 04, 2019, 10:15 AM
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This is my favorite day of the week, or favorite period - Saturday morning. I woke up feeling a bit depressed and anxious. It's all about, mostly, the move coming up.

Last night I got woken up around 11:15 with the couple downstairs yelling at each other. It doesn't happen very often. With the way things are going at my place now, I'm not going to miss it, but it's too bad that I'm leaving because I don't like it here.

My friend called me last night saying that he will come to visit me today. Last week I had invited him over and he just didn't come. I told him that he should come very soon because it will be the last time he will be at my place. He's all against the move, so I hope that we won't argue about it.
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  #447  
Old May 04, 2019, 10:43 AM
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I don't have a single plan this weekend.

how depressing is that.. everyone else I know does, but not me
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  #448  
Old May 04, 2019, 10:44 AM
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feeling okay mood wise just in a lot of physical pain and urg it hurts
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  #449  
Old May 04, 2019, 05:12 PM
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My friend did come over this morning, no problem. So many times I felt like I had to "pull teeth" to get him to come over. I didn't say a word about moving. It's still a bit of a ways away.

It's been a nice morning with doing the housework, having him at my place, going to the bank, and shopping. Now I feel a sense of a let-down. I'm feeling kind of sad about leaving my place, even though I can't stand it at times and there had been nothing valuable about where I am. Also I'm having anxiety about moving into the new place. And lately, there had been some financial surprises like more money for me to pay out than I expected.
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  #450  
Old May 05, 2019, 06:06 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Woken up for the second time tonight by my bf. It's getting to be too much.
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