[dancinglady]

A little about me and just venting😞😞😞😥👎👎... I am now 68 all alone due to being an only child 💩💔💔💔with zero relatives. My mom and dad were 55 & 39 when i was born. Their siblings were estranged 💔💔they are all dead too 😇😇😒😒and also didnt have kids. I live in the south and this is so strange😝😝 to everyone. They see me as an outcast or weird😭😭 They including T think i have done something to estrange family. I tell them didnt have them in the first place but somehow they still see it as my fault😞😞

I have tried unsuccessfully to get friends but no success😭😭 Now i have just resigned myself to being alone.

I have had a mental health diagnosis since age 16.

I have finally received the correct treatment. My brain keeps going back to how many life long mistakes i have made and it wont let up. Dont get me wrong my life is not better. I am still all alone. If i had received this treatment when i was 16 my life would be totally different.

I. Keep trying to get my mind to shut up on an hourly basis but it doesnt work. I try to forgive myself and let it all go but still the same. I cant get rid of these thoughts or my aloneness. Wish i could feel happy about being alone 24/7 days a week. I go to all types of functions but nothing. I am just weird and people run away. T have no idea how to help. I have been in therapy with many different T for 32 years.

[Raindropvampire]

other than volunteering to maybe mitigate the loneliness I don't have any suggestions. My mom's family is from down south and family is very important. It's like someone with no family is unthinkable. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

other than volunteering to maybe mitigate the loneliness I don't have any suggestions. My mom's family is from down south and family is very important. It's like someone with no family is unthinkable. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.

Thanks for taking your time and energy to respond. 😁😁😇😇

It is like i am an alien. It is unthinkable down here. I am still working full time 😝😝😝😝😒😒😒😒 so i have very little energy to volunteer but i appreciate your suggestion. Take care.

[Aviza]

Are there any senior centers you can join? Or group therapy you can join?

A little about me and just venting😞😞😞😥👎👎... I am now 68 all alone due to being an only child 💩💔💔💔

I am not 68 but I am the same. I had older parents and they are dead. I feel like my life was broken because while I should have been out having fun and meeting men I was taking care of the parents. I assumed I would be able to do that when I got older but turns out.. no. Everyone is now sitting round married and raising their kids. Also, most of them are dealing with the older parents.

So there is no one to meet as a friend or as a romantic partner.

I also work full time and am usually too tired at the end of the day to too much.

I have a sister but she is married and straight up useless. She wants to be my friend only in so far as I do work for her. I have a nephew but I largely stay away because if anything ever happened I would never hear the end of it. He is HER thing, not mine. I am only available to purchase gifts.

I am currently wondering *strongly* if it is time to quit my job, go to a cheaper cost of living place, change my name and just have fun.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, dancinglady I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely. Everyone else has already gave you some great advice so I'll try not to repeat it too much. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Hobbies are a good way to fight loneliness. Perhaps you coul try to join some clubs or social activities based around your interests to meet people similar to you, if you haven't already. Perhaps you could try some websites like meetup.com to meet with some new people near you. I'm so sorry, it's hard to be alone. I hope you'll be able to meet someone who will truly love you and care about you for who you are. You don't deserve to suffer like this. You're a wonderful person. I hope you'll be able to find the right T for you as well. Don't give up hope! Keep looking. I know it's hard, but there are good therapists out there. I hope you'll be able to find the right one for you. Please don't give up. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We won't abandon you. We won't jusge you. I promise you that. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

[dancinglady]

Thank all of you. I have really tried all if these great resources for years. I have done so much work on myself therapeutically. At this point T see no benefit in assisting me. I have had 25 "no"s. I just have a bad diagnosis in the mental health world. As long as i am safe, have a home, work a full time job, pay my bills,dont act out emotionally, drive my own car and have retirement monies ready to go they are like what is the problem. I say i am lonely and they say "so" be grateful you could be so much worse off" go away. They say i am at my "highest level of functioning" and most people including the founder of DBT arent married and adopted a daughter so she and her dig could live with them in her old age. She is single i am no different.

[Skeezyks]

Well... I'm 70. I'm not entirely alone since I'm married (which kind-of presents its own problems in my case.) My parents are both long since deceased. And I have no extended family, friends or even acquaintances really... by choice. At this point in my life I just prefer to be left alone. I only leave home when I have to go shopping with my wife or walk to a local store for something or other. I used to see a pdoc. But I got off med's & stopped seeing him about a year ago.

I tried seeing a few therapists for brief periods over the years. But it never amounted to anything. I managed to hide all of my mental health issues for the most part until I was 50. I'm convinced that, at some point, people reach an age where they simply become excess baggage on the mental health railroad, so to speak. I'm not sure at what age this begins, though, since at the age of 50 I was already there... no testing, no diagnosis, just open the medicine cabinet & hand 'em a fistful of antidepressants. That's pretty-much what it amounts to. I've just left it all behind. I've struggled with a lot of difficult thoughts over the years as well. Recently, however, I've resurrected some nice compulsions that are keeping my mind occupied. Oh well, whatever works I guess...

[Calla lily12]

Hi dancinglady . It must feel very isolating to be in a place where having no family is seen as strange. After my parents died, I cut all ties to a sibling and every cousin. I have a husband and two daughters, but people still look at me funny when I say I have no family. I wish I had something to offer that was helpful. I do understand and feel your pain.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Well... I'm 70. I'm not entirely alone since I'm married (which kind-of presents its own problems in my case.) My parents are both long since deceased. And I have no extended family, friends or even acquaintances really... by choice. At this point in my life I just prefer to be left alone. I only leave home when I have to go shopping with my wife or walk to a local store for something or other. I used to see a pdoc. But I got off med's & stopped seeing him about a year ago.

I tried seeing a few therapists for brief periods over the years. But it never amounted to anything. I managed to hide all of my mental health issues for the most part until I was 50. I'm convinced that, at some point, people reach an age where they simply become excess baggage on the mental health railroad, so to speak. I'm not sure at what age this begins, though, since at the age of 50 I was already there... no testing, no diagnosis, just open the medicine cabinet & hand 'em a fistful of antidepressants. That's pretty-much what it amounts to. I've just left it all behind. I've struggled with a lot of difficult thoughts over the years as well. Recently, however, I've resurrected some nice compulsions that are keeping my mind occupied. Oh well, whatever works I guess...

I wish i could get to where you are at. I just cant. Dont get me wrong i have done it for a certain length of time but then it adds up. I think it may be easier for you since your wife is willing to stick around for whatever her reasons. Maybe you are a very weathly man where she can spend loads of $$$$$$$ on herself and has a luxurious lifestyle. Or like many older women she stays cuz it is no picnic to be an older woman in this world being alone and she sees what us single woman have to live like.

[eskielover]

Wow....I am alone & loving it & everyone here in the "almost" south has no problem with my status.

I'm 66 & yep....was an only child & so was my mom & dad so by default there was no other family. I left my H almost 12 years ago now. Bought a little farm I take care of myself. Grew up in So. Calif & always hated it.

I have a ballroom dance group I went to for years until I had too many other expenses. I volunteer with a group that does the floral work for the eventing horse show at the horse park. Got started woth them in 2010 when they had the World Equestrian games there. I volunteer around town & active in my church though having elderly & sick dogs has slowed my time away from home. I enjoy a small art group. I never learned art only music & so now it't time to learn art.

I also ride horses & there is akways someone who wants their horses exercised.

My dad died back in 1989 & my mom died in jan 2005 so I have been an orphan for a long time now.

I actually love my alone time while I really enjoy the wonderful people in all my areas of intetest I have met since moving here. I was a mess when I moved here. On disability for depression & anxiety & was recovering from anorexia & was dealing with a trauma & the PTSD it caused from the home care person I caught abusing my mom when she was dying of cancer. My alone time & finally good therapy has given me the ability to recover from a lifetime of being surrounded by dysfunction. I love sitting in my sun room overlooking my woods, watching the birds & raccoons. Being surrounded by peaceful nature has definitely had it's calming effect on my life. Even my T commented on what a difference there is in me from when we first met.

Family is important in this area too but at this age I have many single friends either divorced or widows & we just do things together & have fun