I am having such a hard time with medication. I was on lexapro. It helped but it also had unwanted side effects. I've tried many other AD's. All with unwanted side effects. I take abilify as well. I've been on that for like 13 years. I'm not sure if that is helping. Though it may be helping w irritability. Possibly paranoia.

My pdoc put me on lamictal in March. I'm not bipolar, but she said it helps w depression. Since early May, I have had major problems with it. I'm tapering off it.

It seems like nothing really helps except lexapro, and I'm not sure I want the side effects.

I have MAJOR depression. Complete with SI, no energy to do what helps, LOW mood, negative, hopeless, no self esteem. I suffer. Like I am now. But probably worse. I don't see it as mild or moderate.

My question is: does this afflict anyone else who doesn't take meds, or who can't take meds, and do you cope well? What do you do to help yourself with your major depression?

Thanks,

Ptak

[Poiuytl]

Nobody knows how anti-depressants work. All theories are flawed. Serotonine Reuptake Inhibitors for example just work on an assumption. They are mostly so popular because they are much less habit-forming than some tranquilizers, like Valium, which make you really happy. I think they are less habit forming because they don't work so well. Medication which works is prone to have horrible side effects and withdrawal symptoms, and in that way, is no solution.

Maybe it's like chemotherapy and cancer - there can be many reasons to refuse to undergo it, but what a patient needs to refuse this kind of treatment is either a body which really cannot cope with the side effects, or a very strong will, fortitude, and luck.

I think, questioning your medication is a bold step in the right direction. You need to make up your mind. Some people, by the way, experience strong relieve from depression with magnesium supplements, which are terribly cheap, and very helpful in order to relax.

[3rd rock]

I was not on medication for many years, which eventually culminated in an attempt to take my own life. Since then I've been on one medication or another continuously. I know that the medications keep me from falling back into the darkest of places where such a thing could happen again. In this respect they keep me alive. I don't know if or when I will be able to function again without them.

Hello Ptak,

Great question! Thanks for asking! I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Was first diagnosed at age 15 but it had been present since age 4/5...my parents knew I was sick back then but were clueless. And I don't mind sharing with you that I have been in and out of hell more than once. When you describe your depression, I understand you very well. You have my support.

I do not take any medication of any sort. I tried lots of different anti-d's as an adolescent then stopped because of the side effects and the docs agreed they didn't help my mood at all. I tried a few more meds a few times in my 20s. Same....no help with mood and nasty side effects. One med in particular sent me waay over the edge...that was scary.

I live med-free. Last time I tried one was about 10 years ago and I am now in my late 30s. I am healthier than I ever was in the past. Lately for a few weeks I have felt very down but that is related to a trauma I am recovering from a few months ago which was unrelated to the depression and would make anyone sad. Once I stepped outside of the "medical model" to manage my depression, I became free and hopeful. I have ups and downs. I'm not looking for a cure as such. Just building a life of intention without nasty meds or doom and gloom predictions from old-school docs. Hope is very, very important for mental health. Telling people they are inherently broken is not hopeful.

How do I manage it?

-every day I tell myself that I am not broken, that I don't have a genetic imbalance...I am a person with strengths and needs....when I don't feel well it is a sign that I need to adjust something in my life/health
- a holistic approach to my health....mind, body, and spirit (not in a religious sense)
- regular acupuncture treatments from a TCM doctor (PhD in Traditional Chinese Medicine)
- daily practice of mindfulness
- daily practice of gratitude (research indicates this can increase subjective levels of happiness by 25% after 3 months)
- daily guided meditation....I ramp this up on tougher days...this can be used to deal with the SI provided you feel safe
- therapy (CBT, talk therapy etc) has helped me at several stages in my life....I'm about to start again this week to make some changes in my life
- helping others on a regular basis
-regular exercise for the dopamine
-meals and H20 at regular intervals (very important for stability and something I have to make myself do as I often get distracted when I'm busy)
- watched the docu 'Happy' three times and made notes and started incorporating the strategies into my life (all based on research)
- I developed a relationship with my depression....rather than fearing it or getting angry with it I try to befriend it and let it guide me....as strange as that may sound. That helps with SI too....I used to fight it and that made it more intense so now I just acknowledge it and let it be or watch a guided meditation to let go of my thoughts.

I could go on but don't want to bombard you Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat more. I will never take psych meds again. And I would never present myself to be hospitalized. I think that can be the beginning of giving up freedom and hope. I would only take meds for a physical matter as a last resort. Even for period pain, I find other natural ways to manage it.

I am sorry you are struggling and hope this helps a bit. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If you feel strongly that you want to try to be med-free, and your MD and pharmacist have cleared you to safely stop your meds...you need to start by telling yourself that it will work. Write it down in several places in your home. Say it out loud to yourself every day. Make sure you are using other daily and active strategies. Do you have a therapist you trust? I recommend that. And ups and downs are okay. You can always ask for help if you need it. It's important not to panic about the depression....I think that's where a lot of SI comes from. Monitor your stress. A former therapist pointed out that my stress-response is to get depressed. I have found that to be very true.

Like I said, I could go on

[zapatoes]

Exercise helps, read self help book about depression, talk to family members, sometimes friends, come here to PC. Would possibly consider medication and would prefer not to take them. Also since can sometimes isolate when depressed, make myself socialize one to two times per week. Get outside often since walk my dog almost daily. My diagnosis is depression, history dysthymia, social anxiety disorder, learning disorder (nonverbal learning disorder).

Originally Posted by zapatoes

Also since can sometimes isolate when depressed, make self socialize one to two times per week.

VERY important note about isolation....I often self-isolate without even realizing I'm doing it! There have been great psych articles on the importance of belonging to a group....to relieve depression and also buffer against relapses. Need not matter the size of the group...just regular contact and healthy connection. And while PC is here for us, I don't need to tell you folks about the difference for mental health between online faceless connections and in-person contact. I need to work on that myself! Thanks for reminding me Zapatoes!

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by Ptak

I have MAJOR depression. Complete with SI, no energy to do what helps, LOW mood, negative, hopeless, no self esteem. I suffer. Like I am now. But probably worse. I don't see it as mild or moderate.

My question is: does this afflict anyone else who doesn't take meds, or who can't take meds, and do you cope well? What do you do to help yourself with your major depression?

That's pretty much exactly my situation. Meds only made things worse by adding lethargy, sleeplessness, and other unwanted side effects to the picture while doing nothing to the MDD.

I'm looking for solutions myself. The other posters made good suggestions, though in my case, everything feels almost like palliative care -- maybe the pain can be reduced by going easy on oneself, exercising, not isolating, etc., but the problem isn't really gone. I would love a "silver bullet" solution that just gets rid of this. I haven't lost hope that it's possible, and neither should you...

@Poiuytl Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate the info on the lack of understanding on AD's.

@crossed lines I am so sorry to hear that depression has been so hard on you and I'm glad you are taking medication that helps.

@SilverTrees Wow thank you. That is a lot of information you gave me. A lot of it is stuff I know. But it is still helpful to see it. For me, in a depressed state (like I was in 2017), I had a very hard time implementing some of this stuff. But thinking about it, things were different for me back then too: I had a very old and wrong for me mattress, so I wasn't getting great sleep. I lived at my parents and it sucked. I was very isolated as well as addicted to a friendship that was completely wrong for me. What I'm trying to say is that there's a possibility that these things will help me this time. But I don't know. Last time, I had a very hard time getting the motivation to even do anything to help myself. But again, it's worth a try, and if it fails, I will definitely try medications again. Even lexapro with the side effects. It's worth a try.

One thing I feel differently about is that while you tell yourself you are not broken (true!) and that you don't have a genetic imbalance, I do find that telling my own self, that what I experience is an illness, helps greatly. I sort of had that realization recently. It has nothing to do with blame for me. And everything to do with putting things in perspective, acceptance that there is a difference between my ability with some things while depressed, and others abilities while not ever having to experience depression. It's like physical disability. Or learning disability. There's a difference, but it doesn't make people who are depressed (Or physically or learning disabled) less than or less worthy. Theres a lot of stigma about mental health issues here, in the US. That doesn't make it true. I like the idea of being an activist for these things. But yeah I am definitely not trying to tell you how to think or judging what you think!! I think I just wanted to express my own experience with this. We are all so different and what individually helps us, may be different, or tweaked, for another.

I am going to PM you, btw.

@zapatoes I love to exercise. Lately, not so much, and I know its important to get myself out there and do it. Lately it doesn't seem to have the same effect. But I also have been having some physiological changes (due to my illness, the med, not sure) that...I may need to work with. I have heard that exercise can have medicine like effects. Also YES, social interaction and not isolating is very important. I often feel better around other people. I will do my best.

@T4bbyCat Hugs to you. This (How you described your own depression as not lifting much even with the natural basics) is how I would describe myself 2 years ago. I am so SO glad you have not lost hope. I am a little scared, but reading this thread has even given me hope. I was reading a thread in the depression resistant forum, and someone gave a link to this website, which is somehow linked with PsychCentral it seems: Project Hope and Beyond it is for people who experience treatment resistant depression. It looks like a kind, hopeful community with purpose and it looks like there's resources to help too.

Yes Ptak. Environment is very important. An unhappy environment can certainly trigger or exacerbate depression. Our home and work settings and who we spend our time with are very important to consider and monitor and adjust as needed.

You didn't mention if therapy helps you? I think that would be very important if you skips meds a while. To still have professional support and guidance.

Do whatever works for you Ptak We support you!

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Yes Ptak. Environment is very important. An unhappy environment can certainly trigger or exacerbate depression. Our home and work settings and who we spend our time with are very important to consider and monitor and adjust as needed.

You didn't mention if therapy helps you? I think that would be very important if you skips meds a while. To still have professional support and guidance.

Do whatever works for you Ptak We support you!

Therapy helps.

[Humpty Dumpty]

I wish I had answers but I don't. I am not on any meds and suffer from major depression. "How do I deal with it?" I just do, but at the same time I don't. I know that any day could be my last. I am miserable all the time.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs Ptak ... yes I have the same symptoms as you and also CPTSD .....

Possible trigger..

I’m putting a trigger icon for those with sensitivities (which “we all” have including me. No sarcasm to anyone here, it was a fob off line from a gp..)

I was on Paxil / seroxat .... for .... too long. It did help with the extreme anxiety.

I had to taper off it.

I now can no longer tolerate any meds except for Benzos, I break out into severe eczema. (In all the “wrong” places, it’s serious and intolerable..)

I tried seroquel/quetiapine prescribed by a friendly GP. This helped a bit with the severe (“crippling” - as “dxd” in a letter from a psych ) anxiety ...

I do not “blame” that psych for writing that.....they were possibly trying to make sure I was taken “seriously” (and not dismissed as “the worried well” as was done to me by a gp...) (with a few other choice labels on the side.... many apologies for the rant /whine.. I know it’s not to everyone’s taste but if my honest experiences can help one person then maybe my suffering is not completely meaningless...

On increasing the dose (as prescribed) I became allergic to this also....

Suggestions? I “get by” ... one day at a time.. as with many I think.... “some days are better than others”

A good therapist could help.

If my anxiety isn’t very severe (which is rare especially in the mornings) guided imagery etc can sometimes help...

I’m sending you sincere support and gentle hugs

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty

I wish I had answers but I don't. I am not on any meds and suffer from major depression. "How do I deal with it?" I just do, but at the same time I don't. I know that any day could be my last. I am miserable all the time.

Good post Humpty Dumpty

I appreciate your honesty

(I’m also miserable nearly all the time.. if I could take meds I would but that’s just me)

[Thirty shades]

((((Fuzzybear))))

((((Humpty Dumpty))))

I understand that meds are not the answer for many of us. Meds make me feel worse. The side effects trigger me

(((((((((HUGS)))))))) Humpty Dumpty

Fuzzy Bear, thank you for your honesty, candor, and support. Hugs. Same with you Humpty Dumpty.

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

((((Fuzzybear))))

((((Humpty Dumpty))))

I understand that meds are not the answer for many of us. Meds make me feel worse. The side effects trigger me

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by Ptak

((((Ptak))))