Question :(

I typed out a reply to Thirty Shades’ thread on Respect but deleted it...

I was wondering... do you feel safe to post or do you feel there is likely to be someone who is silently (or possibly otherwise) judging you

I feel bad for all the depressed people who have nowhere safe to share their feelings..

And all those who end up as a “su statistic”

Recently I’ve become more “invisible” in real life... (a recent incident which would likely be judged as trivial by people who don’t have anxiety) I’m not sure if it’s me or that the couple of people in question (irl) are just rude and mean

ETA it takes a long time to shave off my fur etc.. and to then be ignored after I’ve said maybe one or two neutral or positive words

Fuzzybear, I think you know me by now as I am already approaching being on this forum 1 month and for many it probably feels like I have been here many years. I have always been told to speak from my heart and tell it like I feel. The only time I have been silenced from that is during the 15 months I was help captive. Sometimes, when I speak from my heart I know I may ruffle some peoples feathers or in your case mat your fur. For me though if it is coming from my heart and it is truly how I feel than I can't make everyone happy. I think it works the same way for making a post about something that you feel is important to you. If you truly feel deep down inside that something is important to you then say it. Not everyone may feel the same way as you, but you still got it out there and from what I have been told by my parents, therapist, psychiatrist it is always better to let things out. So what a few people may not be on the same page as you. In the end you got it off your chest and that is what is important.

Thanks Misery Business for your wise words

Btw you’ve never matted my fur with anything you’ve said

((((((((Fuzzy))))))))) Hugs to you.

I agree with you, I feel bad for the depressed people who don't have anywhere to share their feelings either. This is an online forum and you're right, it does not always feel safe (sometimes for real reasons!). And unfortunately, an online forum is not a perfect system in my opinion. I do think...for me, anyway, there are other places to do so (get my feelings out). If I really need to get something out, I can call a hotline, call my therapist (depends if she's available), use my skills, journal, talk to a support person. I know not everyone has support people though. I hope you feel better soon Fuzzy, you do deserve to feel safe and free from judgment!

Ptak, you are absolutely correct. an online is definitely not the perfect and safest system to vent your problems. The ways you listed like a hotline or therapist(if a person has one available) are the prime choices. I also think when you mentioned journaling that is an awesome way to get things out even if you are not saying them to another person you are putting them down on a piece of paper or in a book or binder. While writing you can even speak it out while doing it if that helps get it out. I think you gave some awesome ideas.

I agree that online forums aren’t always free from judgment. But for me, maybe one of the things I could work on is to say eff them to those who look for things to complain about I’m sure I do ruffle a few feathers occasionally but this is very rarely (if ever) intentional. And as Misery Business said, if I’m speaking from the heart... well if someone wants to judge it’s about them. Unfortunately I haven’t found a therapist who isn’t judgmental irl either (this is real, it’s not me being “paranoid” or something. I’m sure there are some somewhere, even out in the wilds here

I have found the vast majority of people I’ve interacted with on pc to be supportive and respectful. I guess there’s that saying about “one bad apple” - if someone is “triggered” by me, it’s more than likely I’m also triggered by them. I guess I need to remember not everyone is “compatible”...(I’m not talking about specifics, just in general)

And even support people irl in this forest can be judgmental. Grrrrr

Sorry about the rant. One reason I find posting more helpful than journaling is that I receive feedback (usually anyway) and as a cub I was extremely silent

Fuzzybear, You and I both know people have the choice to respond to a post in any manner they wish, but they also know when signing up for a forum such as this one what they are getting into and what type of members are within this forum.
When I signed up for this forum I thought to myself, "Oh this is awesome a safe place where members can bounce helpful ideas off of each other on how to ease each others pain." Not a place to place judgement on others or send triggering messages to possibly set a members or make them feel worse. That is the total opposite of safe and helpful in my opinion, Sure people are going to disagree with certain methods, but when a post becomes unhelpful in a way where it is unhealthy to that person and I don't care what it might be than it should either not be said at all or deleted. This goes for any of my posts as well.

I agree. Good post Misery Business

I think most of us have “had our moments” as we’re human

Rejection is very hard for most us dear bear. We may fear posting in talking in case we are rejected.

I can worry am I being too positive or negative. I too speak from the heart.

You are right to speak from your heart. I know you and your heart are pure and you would never choose to hurt or upset.

Someone IRL recently took exception to me, Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. They tried to insinuate that I was somehow made faulty (I believe that to be incorrect)

If I had been made that way, would it make it my fault? It would seem some prefer us to be invisible.

I have noticed that IRL people prefer the depressed people who can be cured but the ones who continuously suffer are very much silenced by society.

Much love to you dear friend and all those who suffer

Thank you dear Thirty shades for posting.

I’m very sorry about that person irl. That sort of attitude is so so wrong and harmful. grrrrrrrrrrr

I don’t think we “should” have to worry about being “negative” or “positive” here. I appreciate you and others who post from their heart

Much love and respect to you and to all who suffer

now I made papa bear choke on his meal.

I was talking about something and we misunderstood each other. No anger, just misunderstanding

Failure me


It “should” have been me who choked and couldn’t eat the meal

Sending hugs to you and Papa bear.

Yes and yes.

I feel safe enough posting here. Experience has borne that out.

A site of this size, traffic and topic is certain to have its share of viewers and participants of questionable character. It's a risk inherent to the choice to go online. I find the risk acceptable.