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#1
Dec 24, 2007, 09:10 AM
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hi everyone... dont want to be a downer this time of year...
just been having an experience with anger these past few days... not always angry, away from work, i'm fine... really lost it last night... i was cleaning the car wash and got mad because my shoes were uncomfortable, there was ice everwhere, the hose froze up and wouldnt nunravel easily, had to fight with it and it was making me tired cause it was the end of my 24 in 48 shift and i think i was just exhausted... but i lost my temper and threw the hose... it landed in just the correct way.. with the squeeze handle pushed against the concrete and the water spraying straight on me.. soaked, cold, mad... then the drain plugged and i had to put my arm in the freezing water up to my elbow, soaked my sleeve.. it took a while to drain and i kept wanting to kick every object in sight, stress was top limit, anger, frustrations all came full forward... as it was happening, i asked myself... where is all this coming from? i think i need a different job... but as i type this, i think about the things in this job that work for me... i dont really mind the work... kinda enjoy it, and really, i dont want to quit... i'm respected and accepted at this place and the schedule is great... idk ... maybe i just needed to rant... i know it will pass... i know it will come again.... i'm cutting hours there after the New Year... |
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#2
Dec 24, 2007, 09:15 AM
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((((((((((((((( nowheretorun ))))))))))))))
 
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#3
Dec 24, 2007, 09:23 AM
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((((((((((((LoveBear)))))))))))) thank you Fuzzy... its too hard to tell you how much i love you.... thanks for always being there... all these years ... |
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#4
Dec 24, 2007, 09:26 AM
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I hate when every little detail goes wrong and things fight one. It's much worse when one doesn't feel well to begin with; when I was having my arm problem late this summer, I sat down one morning to try to work on my computer a bit in this easy chair and small items (pen, glasses, napkin, etc.) kept falling on the floor where I couldn't get them due to my arm pain. Finally it got too much for me, I opened up my school system and withdrew from all classes and deleted all files and websites, etc. having to do with my program! I just snapped.
Reading your account I smiled when you described how the nozzle hit "just right" to cover you in ice water :-) Recently I was being angry and "cussing out" drivers, etc. while driving and stopped for a moment and wished I'd just calm down and be more patient. Immediately the car in front of me slowed down even more and that got me laughing because I was able to immediately pair it with the wish I'd exercise more patience. It's like the warning one's parent would give, "I'll give you something to cry about". Doesn't sound like "anger" as much as frustration? And you had quite legitimate reasons, bad days at work and then the car wash doing it's best to discombobulate you? Last night, at least, sounds like you were feeling and behaving appropriately! It's when we can be patient in trying circumstances that we're not "normal" I think :-) Are your work problems maybe related to the holiday season? I was grocery shopping a couple days ago and got horribly frustrated with all the people and madhouse atmosphere; I couldn't imagine being stuck there as a clerk during such times!
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Dec 24, 2007, 09:36 AM
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thank you Perna... you always give me good food for thought.. i think you picked up on it exactly...
i think it was just one of "those days" ... could look at the experience as a blessing? it tasted so badly in my mouth getting that upset over something i'd normally know to be patient with that now i will work on changing my behavior and remember to practice patience better... |
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#6
Dec 24, 2007, 09:49 AM
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Hey, why not get upset at inanimate objects? Their feelings can't get hurt! I named the snack machine at work, "Huge Hugo" and gave it an "ugly" personality so I could stay away from it easier :-) The hose, obviously, deliberately, with malice aforethought landed the way it did to soak you! :-) If the anger and frustration has to come out, might has well have it come out at small frustrations rather than at work in some idiot-bystander, customer's face?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
Dec 24, 2007, 10:06 AM
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got a couple good belly laughs from me Perna : ) .. yes, clearly the hose was out to get me, and made a conspiracy pact with the drain as well...
poor hose.. well, it taught me a lesson now didnt it? oooohh... i hate myself think of my customers that way... i rage against it in my head... but, im sorry, some are so witless.. i had one guy pull up to my huge, 75 foot, upright propane container that has BIG red lettered words "PROPANE" painted on the side (and the base is all white, so the red really stands out) ... so, the guy gets out of the car and proceedes to check the air in his tires, blocking any access to the propane station, i guess he didnt want to have to walk very far, and then begins looking around for the air compressor hose... he thought the propane tank was the air tank!!! how did he miss it???? annyoing things like that happen all the time... that was just one of the more humorous... sometimes people are just plain mean... having a bad day and need to vent somewhere... its really bad if i let myself get caught in their mood... and its hard not to... most people come in smile-less and demanding... i have to always respond friendly or, ka-poowy!!! and its hard being that perfect all the time.. you should see some of the things people blow up about... not having their gum, not having their soda, not having time to personally assist them at the pumps when ive got 10 customers in line and more coming in.. no patience if the register jams... everyone's in a hurry... go faster, faster... ahhhh... feels so good to get it out.... |
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#8
Dec 24, 2007, 10:12 AM
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(((((((((Darrell))))))
I am just learning to be patient.....and if someone doesn't thank me ata junction for letting them out I just think..well Ive done the same and felt bad afterwards for not saying thankyou just because my mind was elsewhere...... I try to see a positive side...cant always...but anger is a waste of energy, I try not to get angry so much, tough but if you consciously think about it, well, it calms me down a little...sorry, rambling.... Jin xxxx 
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#9
Dec 24, 2007, 10:13 AM
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Tis good to undo the valve on the pressure cooker sometimes. Better out than in, as they say. Bottled up anger is no good at all. I'd like to give that hose a piece of my mind! (((((((((( nowheretorun )))))))))
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 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#10
Dec 24, 2007, 10:22 AM
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((((Pegasus))))
 ... sage advice, thak you..((((Jinny)))) ... i am going to keep trying.. its a blessing having the friends i have here...
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#11
Dec 24, 2007, 10:49 AM
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((((((((((((nowheretorun))))))))))))
You have always helped me. I am here for you. Colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#12
Dec 24, 2007, 10:54 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
nowheretorun said: sometimes people are just plain mean... having a bad day and need to vent somewhere... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'll just never forget when I worked for Customer Service at Sears in 1973 and we'd get the mean customers and have to hand them over to our supervisor to deal with and she was a 70-something, very experienced battle axe :-) But I still remember her patiently telling a customer their appliance was out of stock (so there would be a delay in delivering it) and then the next thing out of her mouth was, "I've very sorry sir, but I already have a washing machine, dryer, and two refrigerators up there" :-)
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#13
Dec 24, 2007, 11:00 AM
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(((Perna))) since i know i can always learn something from you, i have to ask you to re-explain that... you know how slow im am sometimes ..
 reading what you quoted again, now i can see a new update for my thinking... people dont choose to be mean most of the time, its not their fault always they're having a bad day... i gotta get better at being kind.... and hey, thanks ((((( C ))))) ... what you said helped me out ... we're so lucky to have PC ... for what you gave me today is something i need and want... thank you .. |
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#14
Dec 24, 2007, 11:09 AM
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The guy told her where to "put" the out-of-stock appliance that he wasn't going to get when he wanted it but wasn't the first person who had gotten frustrated and disappointed and taken it out on the "messenger"; as in, "shove it" :-) But she wasn't able to do what he suggested because she was already "full". LOL. I remember the calm, politeness of her reply too.
When you get frustrated at a customer you should put on a bright smile and pretend you don't understand :-) Frustrate in return by pleasantness.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#15
Dec 24, 2007, 11:11 AM
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(((((((((nowheretorun))))))))))
I know how frustrating it can be when it seems everything is against you - even with the little details. It just takes a lot of reframing for me to get through those days. Step back from whatever it is that is getting at you, and try and approach it will an open mind to look at it for what it is. But when it seems the world has turned its back on you, we're always here for you at PC with open arms. Hope you're feeling better Jacq
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#16
Dec 24, 2007, 11:14 AM
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ah.... i'm learning.... i get the humor now : ) ... gosh im a dimwit at times ... blah... now i feel like puking...
ok, over that... thats good advice, gotta practice that more.. it really is effective and i can feel good about it too cause it fits my job sescription... |
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#17
Dec 24, 2007, 11:19 AM
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thanks Jacq
.. yeah, im feeling better as i work through it... its been 20 some years ive struggled with this, i think im really gaining ground now though...i think "Mindfulness" would have changed things last night, and usually, i'm pretty mindful, so, this thing built up and spilt over and knocked down my defense... you all really save me... thanks
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#18
Dec 24, 2007, 11:24 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:It's like the warning one's parent would give, "I'll give you something to cry about". </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Ouch! I hadn't remembered that in a long time...
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#19
Dec 24, 2007, 11:29 AM
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thats really an accurate analogy though i think pachy .. it was karma though... instant....
... i'd been swearing fouly and loudly in the car wash... i dont think anyone heard me...couldnt believe i was acting that way... my step mom used the "something to cry about" line too ... and , she wasnt lying... |
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#20
Dec 24, 2007, 11:31 AM
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I have to tell you. all of you. how much you have truly truly helped me....and you to nowhere, .so paying the favor back is not a sacrifice. ITs something i love to do.
Thinking about you today. Hoping you can smile on christmas and sending big hugs your way. Love all you guys, even tho i havent been here long. you all feel like family. Colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#21
Dec 24, 2007, 11:37 AM
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we are glad and blessed to have you with us Colleen... ((((smiles))))
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#22
Dec 24, 2007, 11:57 AM
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I can't help but see the irony in all that happened. That in inantimate object let you see so much in yourself. That it inadvertantly gave you insight even though the path was a lttile cold and uncomfortable. Sometimes like the journey itself. You are very relective and I am glad that you saw the good that became of this incident. I do hope that it doesn't happen again as this has already ingrained or rather engulfed you.
 . BB
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#23
Dec 24, 2007, 12:07 PM
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(((BB))) thanks for that perspective... it was like the mirror theory... what i presented came right back at me, in an instant...
i hope it is forever the last time too ... it helps sharing it with you all cause i get it out there and process it more with what you add... this is the love i need in my world... |
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#24
Dec 24, 2007, 03:39 PM
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Looks like I'm a little late on this thread. Reason being is that everyone loves you nowhere. Three pages of messages in what looks to be about eight or so hours.
So let me just throw my hat in with everyone who wishes you well and is here for you if you need me. You're a great guy. Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
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#25
Dec 24, 2007, 03:47 PM
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thanks Cy ... you know, i admire your sense of humor... you've cracked me up so many times... some needed laughs... thanks for the gift of you...
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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