[ariesmars]

end it for me? As you know I was in an accident and I'm all better from that, but now all the other problems are happening. My parents can't pay the bills, a lady was seen outside our house taking pictures (parents think we will lose the house) my brother called off work today and just got fired again (he calls off once a week) I'm not working due to the accident, my mother kepts thinking she will win a sweepstakes or will win the lottery (she kepts spending money and make more bills) she laughs at my dad when he talks about the bills and how to pay them. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO? I wish I was dead.

[(JD)]

Sorry to hear about all that (((ariesmars))) What do you think you need to do? Wishing you were dead is not a rational approach to these temporal issues. Yes, it's important for your parents to work out how they spend the money and pay the bills, but why do YOU feel like dying because they haven't yet?

I realize that you have learned this response, from what I can see from what you write about your family issues. However, you need to only look at what is your own responsibility. I'm glad you are healed/healing from your accident. What is YOUR job in life now, do you know? Can you find ways to do those things better for yourself in the future, that your family is having difficulty with? You won't always be in this situation, and can improve upon it for yourself can't you? No reason to die over this stuff. Many ppl don't learn how to handle money, and still others have circumstances befall them that cause the same situations.

TC

[Perna]

Hate that particular squirrel cage, sounds very painful around your house right now. It reminded me of "Joan of Arcadia". Did you ever see that CBS show?

Hope you all get a break soon. I'd try to work on helping your mother?

[Susan27]

hi ariesmars. first off i need to tell you that i love your name. my mars is in aries and, well, it just got my attention. do you like astrology?

so sorry to hear about your struggles right now. can't say that i have any answers, just to listen and hope things turn around for the better for you and your family.

[ariesmars]

I like my name too, I don't know much about astrology, just my planet and sign. I don't see any answers to my problems either. I tried to talk to my mother about what she spends money on and she will not tell me and she goes into a defence mood and attacks me, stating my problems. I noticed some things I think she is doing. She has alot of physic type papers where you pay for lucky numbers and months. Alot of sweepstates and scams where you add your name to a list and send money to the others on the list (like that is real!) she needs help, but how do you help someone that does not know they have a problem or wants help when they know they do? After that hateful talk I left after I said, "I bet everyone would rather I did die". Since she didn't say anything to me the whole night I guess it is true.

All I want to do is cry.

[mrsmoggles]

First off: HUGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Second: You cannot CANNOT fix anyone that don't want to be fixed or helped or will even admit a problem. I wasted 13 yrs of my life learning the hard way, the very hard way. Once that is realized, you will be able to see other possibilities, maybe small windows open for you?? I dunno, maybe just being relieved to finally come to idea it is not on you, it is not your fault, you are not to blame, and you can find your way.

Third: Your mom, while being like that and unwilling to face facts, she does not and WILL NOT out up with being told her problems...it is an illness, a disease. She will lash out at those who point it out (just as my ex did to me).

Please please please understand that it is not on you....
PM if you need to I will listen and understand. ~ Mel

[sassypants]

Hi !

Sorry you are going through so much right now. I am glad
you survived your accident .You have a purpose in life , you just don't don't know what it is. I know it hurts terribly to see
your mom like that, from experience, although I do not live at home. .

I will keep you in my prayers and sending you
a big hug!!!

[Perna]

I meant helping your mother by helping grocery shop efficiently (cheaply) and fixing some meals and trying to take some stress off of her? Even just being around to talk with her and try to get some comfort and communication going? I don't think you'll be able to help with her coping mechanisms, her wanting to suddenly win a lot of money; I did that for awhile too and I didn't even need money but it doesn't sound like she's even doing that very well with the scams she's entering, that does sound scary for you.

I just wish when I'd been a teenager I'd been smarter about it and I'm probably taking it out on you ariesmars :-( I spent my teenage years in my room ignoring everyone around me.

[Susan27]

maybe, if you can't control her behavior and you can't reason with her, then all you can do is let go. (the let go and let God reasoning). suffering yourself over it can't help it either. better your put your own oxygen mask on before trying to assist others. i love that phrase from the planes...cuz i think it's really true. we can only try and if we can never control or change somebody else...it's so hard to let go though and watch somebody potentially sink...i just think sometimes that is all we can do
((((((( hugs to you ))))))))

[ariesmars]

It is slightly better, but I'm still very sad. Now my brother is going to move away and I don't want him to go. I can't stand having him here, because the stuff he does, but I don't want to lose him. Everything hurts, I wish I had some friends. I'm very sad, and don't want to live anymore.

[mrsmoggles]

You have friends...tons of them and all at your finger tips!!! It may help to let your brother give you some breathing room. Like any relationship being away makes the heart grow fonder!! You will be able to focus on you and work on that happiness that is eluding you!!!!

I would if I could take your pain away
and have clouds give way to a sunny day
Just to show that you are always thought of
I would give to you friendship and love
You can be one who brightens up my day
SO hold my hand let's chase the blah's away
When you are down and life goes awry
Send up the sign and hear our battle cry
We at PC will crush all that hurts you
So come, don't fret, happiness is your due


melanie

[Susan27]

i know what it's like to be that sad and have no friends. do you by chance have an MDDA group in your area. i think it's called DBSA outside of boston. it's been a godsend for me. i go once a week to a depression group on weds nights and i've been going about 10 mos now. at this point i'm starting to feel like i've made some close connections (nearly impossible for me usually in social situations) and i feel better just going there to be around them. they have a website:
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...?pagename=home