Depression Vent Room for Misfits

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Did something happen, @Skeezyks?

@Breaking Dawn Thanks so much for inquiring. No, nothing in particular has happened. Everything just feels as though it's sliding slowly downhill. Sort-of feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is the proverbial oncoming train not the other end of the tunnel. I suppose it's to be expected at my spouse's & my ages. But it just makes me... I don't know... sad.

Hope you are well...

I am physically very sick - chronic diarrhea, nausea, bloating, indigestion and acid reflux. My stomach, small intestine, and an*s feel tender and hurt. My lungs hurt too and I have asthma attacks every morning. Apart from these I am forever depressed and get daily panic attacks and feel very very lonely. I am suffering a lot. God please help me.

Dear @MimiBhaduri0, if you can't afford a doctor, I was wondering, do you have any charities near you, a church maybe? People volunteer to work for charities for free because they want to help people like yourself. They see sad situations & feel a deep desire to do something, to help the unfortunate. You could get help without your family & others knowing. Do you think you could check around & maybe receive some kind of help this way? God bless you, Mimi.

No church nearby. I am on antibiotics but the symptoms still persist. Maybe I'll need to do an ultrasound and some invasive procedures. My GP died of covid recently so I gotta see a new doctor

Seeing a new doc is tough. I don't have one anymore myself (except for my pdoc.) I received a letter in the mail a while back saying the doc I used to see was no longer at the clinic where I used to see him. Perhaps he retired. He was an older man. So I wouldn't be surprised. Best wishes for finding your own new doctor, Mimi. Hope you begin to feel better soon...

Thanks much.

I am a bit better today, maybe the antibiotics are working, though the daily morning asthma attacks are still there. But I feel very weak and drowsy. Thanks much everyone for being there.

Bless your heart, Mimi. So glad you're feeling a bit better.

I've been weaning myself off of the Clonazepam I've been on for over a year now (memory escapes me as to how long exactly). I started reducing down around mid-June. At that point I was taking two .5 mg. pills per day (one-half pill 4 times per day.) That is, perhaps, not all that much relatively speaking. But there is a risk of falls in seniors who take Clonazepam. So that's about the maximum I could take. Anyway, reducing from 4 half tabs per day down to three and then to two was no problem at all. But about a week ago I went from 2 half tabs per day to one and that's turning out to be tough... dizziness, nervous tension, difficulty sleeping. So I think I'll be holding at one-half tab per day for a while now. But I need to get off of the medication because, as we're aging, it's becoming increasingly difficult to make the drive down into the city every three months as my pdoc requires. And with winter approaching sooner than most of us would prefer to see it come, I suspect, I need to get out from under the need to make that drive.

I've been having a hard time with sadness today. I'm trying everything I can think of. I guess it's just one of those times when all I can do is wait it out. I'll feel better later.

Hugs dear Breaking Dawn. Hope you feel better soon.

A regret: With my MI I will never be able to take the responsibilities of a relationship and have children of my own. My cats are all I have and I love them like my own children.

The kittens are 2 months old now - Album on Imgur

The kittens are adorable!

And I also will not be able to have human children.

Thank you, Mimi, for sharing your kitties. So often my cell phone doesn't let me see things, but I was able to watch your kitties playing for quite a while. It was really nice.

Thank you Breaking Dawn.

Thanks.
(((downandlonely)))

My phone is not good either. Some more videos of my cats/kittens.

28 days old kitties - Album on Imgur
My Leo - Album on Imgur

Oh, your orange tabby Leo is so sweet, the way he softly paws at your camera or cell phone. Thank you, Mimi!

You are welcome Breaking Dawn. Today I feel very sad and lonely and worthless. Don't know when " this too shall pass".
How are you today?

I'm very tired. I don't ever get enough sleep. Aso sad & disappointed in myself. I'll be hoping & wishing for us both to feel better soon, Mimi.

(((Breaking Dawn)))

Feeling very sick today, very weak and faint and feel like I'm going to collapse any moment. The oxygen level in my brain must have dropped again.
I feel very sad and lonely too and anxious about the future.
God help me.