today's not got off to the greatest of starts.

stomach ache caused by sausage rolls, then the delivery of my baby doll (almost a week late) who doesn't do anything much, and I'm gutted.

she cries, sure and she comes with a passifier and a baby bottle, but she doesn't make the sounds when you feed her or put the passifier in her mouth

she doesn't even have a little pushchair. I'm not that happy about it

It's still pretty early in the morning right now. I was paying the bills and having a hard time concentrating doing the math on the checking account because there was so much noise outside with road construction. Also I called my sister and there was no answer. She hasn't called me in quite a while so I'm wondering if something is up. And then I got a call from the insurance agency who had soured me when I was applying for insurance a couple of weeks ago.

Nothing much planned for the rest of the day, except to do a workout and bike riding.

[Deilla]

I feel better today than I did yesterday. I am keeping busy by organizing my bedroom. I've thrown away trash and picked up one corner. I'll start on the next corner.

[Kelly68]

I'm not coping well. The pain is worse and i don't sleep well, thanks raging vortex and breaking dawn for the welcome

[Kelly68]

I'm a little anxious but better. I keep getting woken up too early by the landlord. I gave in and took my meds. I hope it's going to be a good day

[Breaking Dawn]

I think I'm doing ok right now.

I have felt very depressed today.

no real apparent reason, I just

Possible trigger:

really don't want to be here. being here hurts.

I know sat here doing nothing with my life isn't going to fix that, but I don't want anything... just
well, you know

I didn't sleep well last night but got up early anyways. Feeling depressed because of the way things are going for me lately. My retirement is almost exactly a month old now. It seems like there had been some curses happening to me since I left the job. It's been pretty expensive because of some things that went wrong. It just started after I left the job. And then I have been in odds with my friend and sister. I wish that I could have more than those two but it's hard for me to make friends.

[Mountaindewed]

Overall I’m ok depression wise. I keep getting these intrusive thoughts about therapy so I have to push them away and focus on something else. I haven’t listened to my music at all today. I listen to my music during the day when I’m depressed. But my headphones were starting to give me neck pain because I was sleeping with them on. I didn’t want to sleep with my Beats so I was using my old cheap ones with the wires. It did help me fall asleep with music on. I do have an Amazon Echo that I should set up and synch my music to so I’m not sleeping with headphones on.

[Skeezyks]

Just treading water, as the saying goes...

Fairly busy day today with laundry and shopping. My sister called around noon. It was nice of her to call since she hadn't done it in quite a while, which is a surprise to me. At first it seems nice to get a call from her, but in a short time I feel like I want to hang up. Plus I feel a sense of upset after I talk to her. I don't know why I feel that way. Maybe it's because she says things that are negative and she sounds kind of loopy.

I'm feeling pretty depressed today. I feel like I shouldn't feel that way or it's wrong of me to feel that way. Nothing's wrong but I feel like a good feeling is missing.

[Mountaindewed]

Another day where I kept thinking of the old T. At this exact moment it’s not bad but I did take an extra Valium and an extra 20 mil Geodon. So I probably just numbed my emotions with medication instead of properly dealing with them. I just have to get through this weekend and then I meet with my new therapist on Monday.

I have felt pretty good today

I am not sure that I should be, when you consider the things in life I could be doing, but I enjoyed my tv viewing and my music, and my thoughts were on an even keel.. so what if I didn't leave my room all day. I felt good.

I felt very depressed last night and into this morning. Last night I was talking to a woman in the Jacuzzi at where I live and she was telling me what's wrong with me and gave me suggestions on what I should do to improve myself. She meant well but I'm not "keen" on those kind of encounters with others. After that I talked to my friend and he was telling me what's wrong with me but offered no help or solutions. So I felt bad going to bed last night and into this morning.

I cleaned this morning and bought a powerful cleaner for some stubborn stains on the toilet and bathtub. The cleaner worked fairly well on the bathtub but not so great on the toilet. However, on the toilet, I think I didn't do it right so I'll try again. It got me discouraged at first this morning, but I feel like I have some hope to try it again to make it better.

Overall I'm feeling discouraged today. Mostly in thinking about my social life. I am an introvert, so I do like a lot of alone time, but I feel like having good people in my life is helpful. I liked what Raging Vortex had to say about TV and music and not leaving the room. I feel that way at times. I don't there's anything wrong with it. . And Breaking Dawn gave me an idea of a movie I would now like to see, Zootopia, when she talked about a song "Try Everything".

[Mountaindewed]

As long as I don’t think about her I’m ok.

I feel better now I can log in

been trying all morning and it just wasn't working... ugg..

[mssweatypalms]

I want to read posts and write more, but my brain just stops every now and then.

[Mountaindewed]

Today was off and on. Last night a firecracker woke me up at 10 and I stumbled into the kitchen to get something to drink. My mom asked if I was ok but I didn’t mention anything. I didn’t tell her anything today actually about last night. She knows I’m depressed but she doesn’t understand how bad it can get.

I have a vacation coming up in a couple weeks. It’s my first non essential non holiday trip since October 2019. I’ll be seeing some family I haven’t seen in almost 2 years. It makes me a bit nervous but I know the trip will really help with my depression.

[Deilla]

I just woke up from a nap. I'm disappointed. I wanted to sleep for several hours. Now I will have to find something to do. But nothing is appealing. I think I am depressed.

[TishaBuv]

I was down, up, down, up… like an elevator today. I am up now, grateful to have heard from all my kids. Peace and healing with my son seems to be progressing. Feeling blessed.

[T4bbyCat]

Best July 4th wishes to everyone celebrating today... and if not, then just best wishes!

Spectacular blue skies and balmy temperatures here. If only I could enjoy anything, I'd be going to my usual outdoors haunts, but I'm stuck inside. But I'm working towards it and will get there again one day, one way or another.

Today was a usual Sunday for me. Did a few odds-and-ends cleaning at my place and tackled the toilet, where I left off yesterday. I worked harder today at cleaning those stubborn, ugly stains and was successful. Now that toilet looks like a work of art.

Went on a fairly long bike ride this afternoon. Lots of people in the beach areas, as I would figure. A part of me feels bad seeing all kinds of people together having fun when I'm just alone. It's like I feel that something's wrong with me.

As of right now, it's more quiet than I thought it would be. I normally hate the 4th because of the noises of boom/bangs and screaming people. I'm going to watch a movie now.

[Deilla]

I feel better than usual this morning. I have my slider open and I can hear the birds singing. The cats are by the window. They like it this time of the morning.

apart from my food not agreeing with me yesterday (not the first time, and it won't be the last) I'm okay.

After I posted last night, it got noisy with fireworks nearby. I wasn't crazy about it. I could have had a great view of it from my window but a big tree a couple of streets down blocked the view of it.

Today is a one month anniversary of my retirement. The last month went by so quickly! Also I would have had today off if I were still working.

Nothing much planned for today. I will do a workout and bike riding later on. Tomorrow should be very busy, at least in the morning.